Doorstep To Destiny
by Sophiasown
Summary: Michonne walked away from her friends and family once, but a little surprise in her well planned out life soon lands her back in King County. Once back home she realizes that although she tries to run away from love, she can't outrun her destiny.
1. Prologue

**A/N: These two won't leave me alone, so here's another humble offering.**

 **Enjoy**

 **Sophia**

* * *

 **PROLOGUE**

He could tell the incomparable Michonne Duke was overwhelmed by the busy chatter around her. Even under the dim of the old led bar lights Rick could see it clear as day on her face. There was a pretense in her smile and a dullness behind her eyes. He figured her forefinger circling her thumb in a constant motion was probably a nervous tic of hers. Granted, she had buried her favorite aunt the day before, there wasn't only grief present on her face.

The conversation around them hadn't skipped a beat since the entire gang had finally arrived at Merle's ready to catch up with Michonne, ready to savor the last few moments before she had to leave them again. Rick didn't know Michonne really; they had met briefly at Sasha's house last Thanksgiving but she was as usual here today, gone tomorrow so there hadn't been much time to get acquainted. He figured with the dismissive way she had greeted him that first time was a clear indication she wasn't too keen on his recent induction into her old circle of friends. He took a swig of the cold beer in his hand as he tried to be incognito about his silent observation. Her red bottom stilettos looked out of place in Merle's bar, but he wasn't going to deny that she had the sexiest pair of legs he had ever seen.

Despite being home grown Michonne seemed to love the city where she lived, he could see she wasn't pleased about having to return to King County, even if she was solely here for her aunt Yvette. Her old friends had been glad when she extended her trip by a few extra days. When Rick got the call that they would be hanging out at Merle's that evening he agreed to pass through, just to get a glimpse of the famous Michonne's pretty face again. He attributed her celebrity status to the way his friends rolled out the red carpet for Ms. Duke whenever she was in town. Her visits were few and far between since he'd been living in King County, but it was her absence that gave him insightful tidbits of why she was so loved by her friends. It made him curious; if they were all so close, whatever the catalyst that made her leave home at twenty one must've been great.

He was surprised by her request for a martini, sans the vermouth; he pegged her for a wine drinker, assuming if she ever got tipsy it'd be a classy kind, but he was wrong about that. The thought about getting to know all the things he was wrong about where she was concerned excited him. He needed a reality check, there wouldn't be anytime to find out; not with the way she was avoiding his gaze or the unavoidable reminder of her imminent departure.

She sipped her martini while Daryl and Shane pummeled down memory lane, reminding her how she promised to marry them both if she was single by the time she hit thirty. She tried to laugh with them, tried to stay present in the conversation about the past, but Rick could see her struggle. She was like that memorable song on Sesame Street; she was one of those things that didn't belong, but he empathized with her disconnect.

Taking a break from Michonne watching, Rick eyed Merle's over confident flirting with Andrea, promising to slip the uninterested blonde some of his famous moonshine if she gave him time of day. Rick laughed, the man was resilient to no end. The overhead speakers were belting out tunes about the sweetness of new found love. The soulful singer dropped a line about a smile as bright as the sun. He knew all too well about getting too close to the sun; disintegration was always imminent.

Rick shook his head, he didn't give Michonne wrong for cringing at the corny lyrics. It looked like they both had an aberration to love. He wasn't looking for it and she didn't even want to hear a song about it. Maggie was about to launch into another story from 'the good old days' when he saw Michonne finish off her drink, ramble off some excuse to Sasha and beeline for the front door.

There wasn't much lull, everyone slipped back into their conversation as Michonne slipped outside.

Rick noticed her black jacket thrown over the back of the bar chair, he figured with it being early February she would need the protection from the cold. Moving towards her vacant chair, already deciding he couldn't allow her to freeze, he grabbed her jacket.

He would question the true motive behind his chivalry later.

Michonne chided herself for not grabbing her jacket in her mad rush from familiarity. Now she was stuck outside for the next few minutes chilling out in forty degree weather while she pondered on why it was so difficult to be in a room with the people who knew her best. She pegged her desire to flee from under Rick's gaze as secondary. A minute longer at the bar and she'd give into temptation and face his penetrating stare which might've encouraged him to initiate some conversation.

Panic seized her at the thought, the last thing she wanted to do was connect. If only Rick was the type of man she could ignore; he exuded so much testosterone, yet had such control over it. She knew if she gave into whatever magnetic pull she was trying her best to ignore she would be captivated by the sweetness of his smile or the smoothness of his voice. The mesmerizing night sky was calming for her, she felt like she could breathe easier in the open space. The moon always looked two times bigger this side of the state and she always felt as small as an ant when she was home.

"Thought you might need this." Rick eased the jacket over her shoulders with a certainty of its necessity. Michonne didn't protest at the sudden warmth, she didn't let her surprise for his consideration show.

"Thank you." She was grateful for the warmth though, cognizant of the trail of heat his fingers left on her shoulders.

"You alright? You looked like a deer in headlights right before you darted outta' there like a bull was at your heels." Rick's midnight blue eyes were potent under the glare of the streetlight. There was that magnetic force again, trying to suck her in.

"I was just a little claustrophobic is all." She was surprised they were conversing. She had left the bar to avoid him. She had no right to feel thrilled that he was seeking her out.

"Sure that's it?" Rick asked, pulling his denim jacket closer to his frame feeling the chill of the night air swirl around them.

She sucked in a breath, the last thing she wanted was for an almost stranger to pretend they knew what she was feeling. Rick didn't know her, they were curious acquaintances at best, so his probing made her feel defensive. Even if she knew his claim wasn't that far off, gathering he was more observer than talker. No wonder he and Daryl were best buds.

In defiance she rewarded him with an irritated laugh.

"Was feeling a little outta place. I'm not the Michonne they're expecting." She shrugged her shoulders, unimpressed by her blatant honesty. Her resolve was slipping and she didn't like it.

"Is that why you ran? You'd prefer to remain a stranger to them?" He nodded his head towards the door and folded his arm as he turned to face her.

"Stranger?" she said incredulously, as though his words weren't full of truth. "These guys don't take too well to strangers." Her tone was intentional, trying to imply he was _exactly_ what he was accusing her of.

She knew it wasn't true, from all appearances Rick was the leader of the lot now. She had gathered over the last four days he was the go-to-guy and a trusted friend. He seemed to share a good rapport with Daryl, Shane and Glenn. The girls loved him. He was the man around town, everybody had something nice to say about their new-ish Sheriff's deputy.

However, his charm and good looks weren't going to sway her resolve to remain indifferent towards him.

"Funny, the only stranger I see here is you."

She felt the burn throughout her body, all the way down to her toes. The feeling of wanting to ignore him was back with a vengeance. The rationale part of her brain suggested that her irritation with him lay in the fact that he had easily taken her place, and also that his good looks and manly disposition had her uneasy and too self conscious for her liking. She opted to remain silent, unsure how to respond. Accepting defeat, she figured now was a good time to call it a night.

Before she could turn to head back inside, Rick placed a tender hand on her shoulder.

"Michonne, I'm sorry. I know what it's like to be the new guy in town. So I could only imagine what being back here after all this time is doin' to you."

She heard the empathy in his voice, saw a hint of sympathy in his eyes, but what arrested her was the way he said her name. It felt like a prayer and a curse on his tongue and she knew which one she wanted it to be.

"You have no idea," she said, taking in another deep breath. Maybe she didn't have to pretend with him.

"Wanna get out of here? My truck is parked over in the lot."

She did want to get away, but Sasha was her ride. Now that Daryl had arrived she knew her friend wasn't leaving anytime soon. Right now Rick seemed like a viable option to her runaway plan. She glanced back at the entrance door to Merle's bar, it was only a few feet in distance, but she felt miles away. The thick wooden door was good imagery for how closed off from her friends she felt. She wanted to unlock whatever it was that was keeping her from them but she wasn't ready, not yet.

There wasn't much deliberation, she turned and smiled at Rick.

"Lead the way."

* * *

"So that makes that guy the Big Dipper," Rick said, pointing to the large handle and bowl like shape of stars in the night sky.

"Which means the North Star is..." Michonne pointed her finger to the left of the sky's intricate art, "right there."

"You know your stars." Rick was impressed with her knowledge of the sky's large clock. They were lying comfortably on the bed of his Ford F-150, head to head, looking up at the black carpet. As the hours of the night ticked by, they had slipped into easy conversation taking in the breathtaking view from the top of Pine Hills. There were a lot of tall trees in eyesight before they got a good grasp of the entire County still alive at night. The true eye catcher was the brightly lit sky above, Michonne couldn't pull her gaze away from it.

"Gorgeous isn't it." Rick wasn't talking about the lights above, he wanted to let Michonne know that Ursa Major had nothing on her luminous smile.

"My mom used to love star gazing," she volunteered, unsure of how or why she felt free enough to mention her mother.

"Your mom's gone too?" Rick asked, his voice soft.

"Yeah," she said sitting upright, enjoying the view from the hill one last time. It was time to get back to reality, she was enjoying the escape too much, but everytime she thought about sleeping in her dead aunt's house she felt overwhelmed. She didn't mind prolonging the easy conversation she had surprisingly found with Rick. She couldn't have been there for her ailing aunt, by the time she got to King County it was too late. Guilt and sadness lay still in the background of her thoughts like a memory that wouldn't go away.

"She died when I was twelve. I miss her every day." Confessing that to Rick lightened her.

"I'm sorry." He placed his hand over hers.

"What about you? Your mom alive?"

Rick nodded.

"I hope you treat her right." His hand was still touching hers, she kinda liked that his palm covered hers like a warm blanket.

"We have dinner together every Sunday."

Having chatted with him for almost three hours, she didn't doubt that Rick was that wholesome good guy who still opened doors for women and visited his mother once a week. He was holding fast to all of his southern virtues. The knowledge gave her a sense of happiness amidst her pain. She eased her way closer to him, insisting to herself that it was the coldness and nothing else that made her want to get closer to Rick.

"I'm glad to hear." She tucked her hair behind her ears as a distraction while he made room for her to get more comfortable. "I gotta question, but you have to answer me honestly."

Rick didn't want to ruin the moment, but Michonne was so close to him now he could smell her perfume and her pomegranate body wash. Her scent was as intoxicating as her beauty.

He had a craving for her small frame in his arms. It was strong and intense, something he didn't seem to have any control over. When he witnessed her dejection at the bar he wanted to help in any way he could at the time. She didn't know he was an expert in pain. He knew what it was like to lose people.

She brought out that protective urge in him. It was a feeling he hadn't felt for a woman in a very long time. The compulsion was heightened now that her walls were down. There was something foreign driving him to know her better, a longing inside to be a listening ear to her affliction. He resigned himself to being whatever she needed for tonight. Even if it was just someone to talk to. His body had started betraying his intentions, all he could think about doing right was kissing her full lips, needing to find out how that sexy pout felt against his.

"How come a nice guy like you isn't married with two point five kids?"

Her smooth voice broke his lustful thoughts. "Nice guy huh?" he shrugged, it was the last thing he was expecting her to ask.

"Yeah I mean, a handsome guy like yourself. The way the girls talk about you, you seem like quite the catch."

"You think I'm handsome?"

She saw him blush at the indirect compliment, she couldn't quite explain why that excited her. "That's all you got from what I said?" She couldn't help but laugh at his failed modesty.

Seeing Michonne laugh was like witnessing the sun appear after a rainy day.

Rick raked a hand through his curly mass of hair.

Michonne's hands were itching to feel his waves through her fingers.

"I'm not sure if that whole wife and two point five kids thing is for me." He said it so nonchalant that he might as well have been talking about owning a cat.

"Why not?"

Rick shrugged again, unsure of how to answer her question without sounding like a complete jerk.

"For starters most women around here want the whole nine yards. They white picket fence. The house. The babies." He gave a subtle shake of his head, at least she didn't move away from him. "I just don't think kids are in the cards for me. Not sure I'll be any good at fatherhood." It was always something he felt strongly about. His father was an old drunk that never paid him no mind. That deficit left him feeling defeated. His father not wanting to stick around left him feeling like a failure. He was usually left to his own devices without a crucial male influence.

He didn't have any example of what a good father was really, he just knew he didn't want to risk bringing a child into this world and failing them too. It was part of why he became a cop, he could control disappointing people while on the job by knowing what he had to do and executing it to the best of his ability.

"I get that." She knew everybody came with some kind of baggage, she gave Rick ten points for owning his. She knew there was a deeper story behind his words but she didn't want to pry further, nor did she want to get too invested in his sorrow. She preferred the land of the unknown, that way she didn't run the risk of wanting to trade his sadness for joy.

When her hand brushed the side of his head, it surprised the both of them.

"As long as we're going with the truth, I have a confession to make." He inched closer to her, she knew what was coming. Even in her anticipation she was trying to persuade herself to take things for what they were.

"Yeah? What's that?" He was leaning in and her palms grew sweaty, her heart rate hiked up a notch.

"I really wanna know what your lips taste like."

She had one more weekend in King County, she couldn't think of a better way to prolong the sadness of her leaving than by kissing Rick Grimes.

"Well what are you waiting for?"

* * *

Never beyond his wildest imagination did Rick think one kiss at the back of his truck would've lead to four of the most memorable nights of his life. He and Michonne had gotten so twisted up in each other he didn't know where he ended and she began. Their love making turned soul finding had shattered his perceptions about heart matters. Michonne made him reassess his purpose in the world.

He knew what they had wasn't meant to last. It was a mere four days, but in those four days he found out she was a coffee junkie, loved her mother and her aunt, even if she had trouble expressing it. She loved it when he kissed her belly. She loved Chinese food, sweet and sour chicken to be exact. Her appetite for him was insatiable; she was naughty in his bedroom as much as she was nice out of it.

If he had a choice in being the kind of man to settle down with someone, he didn't mind if Michonne was that someone. They didn't discuss anything that would've consisted of the real world, probably with good reason. Michonne stated plain and simple to him that King County wasn't her home, after their time together was over she'd be returning to her life as he would his.

He was in agreement, mostly. He was in shock too, after only four days with her, he was rethinking what contentment meant for him. Her reticence to speak on future visits to King County was enough to reinforce what they shared wasn't anything promising. He knew what they were doing and although he didn't want her to leave he knew she had to. He was okay with the time they did have with each other. She gave him great memories if nothing else.

Still, nothing prepared him for Tuesday morning when his hand stretched across the expanse of his large bed only to be met with the coldness of his dark sheets. It was in direct contrast with the warmth Michonne had brought to his home. They had spoken about her return flight to the city somewhere between eating takeout in bed and the addictive passion they lured out of each other, so he knew she had to leave soon.

Now that she was gone, he felt the loss like a weight in his belly. Flashes of them making love on his bed, in the shower and that one comical evening on his kitchen counter didn't ease his surprising disappointment.

After all they'd shared, he didn't think for a second she'd leave him without at least a proper goodbye. The loss of her warmth was great, but the impact her sudden departure had on his heart was indelible. He realized now that he had lied to her. He told her he wasn't a forever kind of guy, but now that she had slipped out into the darkness leaving him with a bottomless void, his aching heart was begging to differ.


	2. Chapter 1

**Seven months later**

There's no place like home. It was a mocking sentiment for Michonne, considering she was far away from her place of comfort. There weren't any yellow brick roads in King County, well not if she counted Mrs. Neidermeyer's yellow tiled driveway. Still, she felt like Dorothy in Oz; alone, maybe a little scared, but determined nonetheless to find her way again. The taxi had driven off with a honk, but seconds went by while she stared at the front of her aunt's house recalling cherished memories and forgotten mistakes.

She wondered if she clicked her loafers together three times if she would be transported to somewhere far away.

"There's no place like home." She repeated the mantra out loud this time, in an effort to convince herself she was doing the right thing.

Coming home had been the right thing, it was time.

Michonne let loose a heavy sigh, feeling drained from her journey but unable to move from in front of the house she grew up in.

The sooner she got inside and handled everything she needed to, the sooner she could try to settle into some kind of life in King County. She hefted her duffle bag onto her shoulder, and walked up the four dusty steps that lead to the wrap around front porch. Another involuntary stop took hold of her, she watched the old mahogany front door like it was a ghost.

There was a sign on the door that only she could see, _Don't open. Dead inside._

Dead relationships, dead promises, a house full of dead things that she was about to exhume.

She used her key to unlock the door. The house smelled better than she expected. There was no mustiness or swirling clouds of dust greeting her as she walked in. She dropped her bag on the ground next to the old coffee table. She walked towards the shutter windows and parted the cream drapes that decorated the living room to allow the beautiful sunlight outside into the dismal house. There was a small gnaw of pain in her lower back, she knew lifting her own luggage wasn't a good idea. Not with the way she'd been feeling the past couple of days. She sat down on the beige loveseat to relieve the ache a bit. The task of fixing up the house that was bequeathed to her rested heavily on her shoulders. She had managed to save more than enough so when she quit her job and moved back home she would be able to be comfortable until she could work again. At the time, saving money for house repairs hadn't been on her agenda, but plans change. She knew that too well.

There were so many decisions to make that she wasn't sure she had the energy to tackle any of it. If aunt Yvette was here she would already be fidgeting in the kitchen, fixing Michonne a specific kind of tea to suit the mood, ready to hear all her stories about city living.

 _Some green tea would ease your stress away honey._ Michonne could almost hear her smooth voice in the house. Seven months had passed and she still couldn't believe her aunt was gone. Her heart felt heavy thinking about the loss. One of the drawbacks of escaping home somehow made family time almost non existent. Plain and simple she wasn't checking up on her aunt enough, wasn't home enough, didn't call enough. She was okay with seeing her aunt for Thanksgiving and a random visit during the year. Michonne spent a couple of Christmases by herself, growing content with being alone at a time of the year marked out for family. She would make fruit cake and drinking eggnog while watching Home Alone, four or five times. She had friends in the city who would drop by, providing her with the holiday cheer she was so desperately lacking.

It was just enough for her, enough that although she felt alone she knew she wasn't.

She and aunt Yvette would talk on the phone, her aunt was always trying to reach out to her. Michonne didn't know of any way to help her aunt see that she was in no way responsible for how Michonne felt. Maybe she was just trying to not think ill of the dead.

After her last visit to King County she no longer felt content, somehow she blamed Rick Grimes for that. Rick Grimes who was a great listener and a smooth talker, and probably the best kisser she ever encountered. He made her feel things she didn't want to feel. He gave her so much the night they met, but subtlety hadn't been his speciality when he shared with her all the things he knew he _couldn't_ give a woman. She felt herself softening towards him despite his disclaimer and it scared her half to death.

She probably was a coward, but it was why she had snuck out on him after their full weekend of getting to know each other on a more intimate level. Now that she was back there was no avoiding him. She hoped that once he saw her again he would forgive her for leaving him the way she did.

Her stomach growled, the last time she had something to eat was at breakfast.

She wondered if she should order take out for dinner. It was only five o'clock in the afternoon but she was already starving. She remembered her aunt Yvette kept all the take out menus below the basket of bills on the kitchen counter. She had a taste for _Rhee's_ a tasty korean restaurant in the heart of King County. It was a regular spot for her and Sasha back in the day. On her last visit she and Sasha had dinner there and the food was better than anything they had in the city.

She snagged the menu, perusing to see what tantalized her taste buds. She sat on the tall kitchen chair remembering the last time she was home, Yvette didn't want to hear about her going out to eat, not when she could give her a home cook meal like old times. Yvette had been a decent substitute mother for her. She didn't treat her any less than she did her two boys; Noah and Theo, but there was something lacking for the twelve year old girl who had been thrusted into her aunt's care when her mother died. Michonne had tried to be normal while she was grieving her mother, but the feeling of not really belonging in the Wilson's home, although family, plagued her. She didn't belong to any one really. Yvette took her on because she felt obligated. Michonne's dad died when she was four, he had no known family so it was pretty much just her and her mom. Aunt Yvette lived _up the roads_ for most of her life. She and her mother were close enough, but she knew when Yvonne died, to aunt Yvette Michonne was just another mouth to feed. She got along well will Noah and T-dog as he was affectionately called by his friends, but they weren't that close. The last time she saw them was for their mother's funeral in February. The loss of her aunt wasn't unexpected, but it still stung when she got the call that night. She was always good to her, going sometimes the extra mile for the jaded, untrusting teenager she was. She was on a plane the next day, returning to the place where she felt she never truly belonged. Her presence in the nuclear family always felt fake to her, like she was an extra on a sitcom. Even being with her friends didn't feel as perfect as it used to be. By the time she was eighteen she had her future all mapped out and it didn't include being in King County.

It seemed aunt Yvette had different plans for her. Why she left the old country house to Michonne still had her stumped. She knew more than anybody that King County only had bad memories for her. So when Mr. Smith contacted her and told her about her new acquisition she didn't hesitate to call Noah and T-Dog to let them know. Their response to the news wasn't what she expected at all. Noah had recently gotten married and was living in New York with his new wife Beth, T-Dog had enlisted in the army and was stationed halfway across the world. In other words they both had zero plans for the house and gave her carte blanche with her decision. How did their departure seem more acceptable than hers?

Tears formed in her eyes as she remembered her aunt's last words to her, it was what made Michonne so sad during and after her funeral. When Sasha suggested they head to Merle's as a way to stave off the pain she was all for it.

She didn't expect her life to be forever changed that night. Nothing prepared her for her instant attraction to Rick Grimes. She had acclimatized to city life, growing to appreciate the suits and ties of the city. The men were stiff somewhat, but intriguing, business like, but still friendly enough for a few dinner dates, some sex and no talk about commitment. Which frankly was just up her alley. That peculiar desire had a shift when she met Rick Grimes. She had never been attracted to that much country before; the twang, his gait, his cowboy boots, his overused, faded but still so perfectly shaped jeans all gave her a new appreciation for the look.

She sighed, thinking about their love making, how his perfect hands discovered places on her body she didn't know were so sensitive to touch. She blushed when she remembered how he had taken possession of her body, she had never had an experience so perfect before. She stalked back to the couch, trying to place her mind on something else. Food was long forgotten but the pain in her back lingered.

A yawn escaped her, she settled comfortably into the sofa, welcoming dreams of Rick Grimes again.

* * *

Sasha was surprised to see Michonne's sleeping frame on the couch. "Michonne?"

Stirring from a light sleep, Michonne turned to face her old friend who was at the threshold of the living room smiling at her.

She wondered what time it was. She must have been more tired than she thought, alluding her weariness to her half day of traveling.

"Hi."

Sasha wondered why she didn't go up to her old room to get a proper nap. It was still in mint condition despite the other depreciating aspects of the house. Michonne didn't even let her know she was coming in today despite living right next door. Sasha had her own key to Yvette's house, she had been the one checking on Yvette after her surgery because frankly there was no one else to do it. Michonne mailed her a generous check every month but she couldn't send her care in the mail, far less take a trip down to see her aunt often.

She knew her friend didn't want to be back in King County but she found it sad that Michonne felt she had to be a loner to feel free. Subsequently forgetting those who cared about her.

"How did you know I was here?"

"Jim from next door said he saw when the cab dropped you off."

Michonne rolled her eyes in annoyance, one of the _perks_ of living in a small town was that _everybody_ knew everybody's business.

"Why didn't you say you were coming?" Sasha questioned.

"There was no time really," she lied, still a bit groggy from her impromptu nap. She set her feet on the ground, keeping the blanket over her somewhat small frame.

"What are you doing here?"

Michonne tried not to assume the tone in Sasha's voice was an accusatory one.

"I live here now. I'm sure you know Yvette left the house for me."

"I didn't think you'd take it to be honest." Sasha made her way to the comfy single chair to the left of the sofa.

"I am. I'm back. For good," she said with a firm tone.

"Really? You're coming back to the slow pace of life? You always said time moved backwards here."

"Maybe slowing down is what I need right now." She tried to smile through her sentence.

"Good for you. Trading in your prada for plaid is a big step. Take it slow." Sasha's advice was funny but wise. It would take her a while to adjust.

"I plan to. I never got to thank you for all you did for aunt Yvette. I'm sorry I wasn't around enough." It was a touchy subject, but Michonne needed to express her gratitude.

"It was nothing. Yvette became a part of all of us."

There was a pregnant pause, the two women bursting to say what was really on their minds, but holding back because they knew it wasn't the right time.

"I still miss her you know." Sasha was looking around the house, thinking of the woman she had gotten even closer to over the last year before she died.

"I do too." Michonne's throat was drier than the sahara, she was desperate for a cold glass of water. She threw the thick blanket off, needing to go get a drink.

"Oh. My. God!" Sasha exclaimed, taking in her friend's full frame as she rose from the couch. "You're pregnant!"

Michonne had forgotten where she was for a brief moment, Sasha's observation caught her off guard. There was no skirting around the obvious, but her palms become sweaty and her heart began to race. Her wine colored capri and white cotton, lace trim top concealed everything but her growing baby bump.

Her hands flew to her rounded belly in reflex, "I am."

"Whose is it? I didn't know you were seeing anyone. " Sasha was never one to beat around the bush. Michonne didn't want to lie to one of her oldest friends. She wasn't sure if she should disclose the father of her baby yet.

"How have you been Sasha?" She tried to digress.

"I know we haven't spoken in a long time, but are you engaged? Married?" After her aunts funeral she promised she would try to keep in touch with Sasha, Andrea and Maggie but she was unsuccessful in that goal. Keeping up with certain topics of conversation was difficult when you didn't know the insides jokes or couldn't relate to the subject matter anymore.

"I'm not married Sasha. Calm down." She got to the kitchen, grateful the fridge was still stocked, she figured she had Sasha to thank for that.

"Can I offer you something to drink?" Michonne asked, not forgetting her manners.

"I'm fine thanks. I'm sorry I didn't mean to bombard you." Sasha's pitch was low.

She joined Michonne at the kitchen counter. "But being back here, pregnant and all. People are bound to ask questions."

Michonne smiled, feeling that tight tug of familiarity again being this close to Sasha.

"How far along are you?" she asked walking back to the living room.

"Seven months." She expected Sasha to do some kind of calculation in her head, but her friend's face was blank. Which lead her to believe that Sasha didn't know about her and Rick. They had agreed they would've kept whatever they had between them alone. Rick kept his word, but she still felt slighted by his silence. She knew being back meant she couldn't be silent anymore.

"Congratulations. To you and your guy. Was it that guy you said you were dating a while ago? What was his name? Michael? Mike?"

"No. Mike and I broke up a long time ago." She was ready to leave it at that. Give Sasha information on a need to know basis even if she didn't really need to know, but that wasn't why she came home. She came home to be a better version of herself and running away from her problems, being evasive about facts wasn't what she wanted for herself or her baby. So she sucked in a breath and pulled some bravado from deep within her gut and faced Sasha head on. She was about to utter something that she had only said to herself for the last seven months. She hoped she wouldn't be judged for it.

"The baby is Rick's. He and I were together the last weekend before I left after Yvette's funeral. I asked him to keep it between us. Seems were weren't as careful as we thought."

She felt relieved having finally admitted the truth to someone who really knew her. She was still burdened by her guilt, but not as much as before.

Sasha's face morphed from shock to some kind of calm comprehension.

"Oh my God. It's you." Sasha's was still in awe.

Michonne accepted she couldn't escape the line of questioning from Sasha. She owed the woman who she used to consider a sister that much. She wasn't expecting her to smile after her big revelation.

"You're who Rick has been pining over all this time. He never said a word to me."

"I didn't realize you two were that close." She refused to believe Rick was pining after her, period.

Sasha gave her a silencing stare. "You're gonna tell him right? Of course you're gonna tell him. You're back for good." Sasha had folded her arms and started to pace the living room floor. "Is that why you're back? You want to have the baby here? To be closer to Rick?"

Michonne looked up at the tile ceiling wishing that the right response would drop in her lap. "Coming back was just the right thing to do. Then I found out Yvette left me the house and it cemented my decision." It was a half truth at best.

"I'm not even sure how Rick is gonna take the news. There's a good chance he may not want this baby." Her most fearful thoughts crossed the bridge in her brain and flew out her mouth.

Sasha shot her a steel glare. "Rick is one of the good ones. Please don't hurt him."

It was the plea in Sasha's voice that let Michonne know where her friend's loyalty rested.

"I guess hurting people is what I'm good at huh?" The words ended with a bitter laugh. She guessed she deserved the isolation given that friendship was normally a two way street.

"I never said that. I'm just saying you don't know him like we do."

She was back to feeling like the kid looking through the toy store window again. She wanted to go inside and play with the toys but so many things were keeping her away.

She didn't need to disclose everything she and Rick had shared during their brief time together. Whatever was said seven months ago was now going to be adversely affected by the fact that she was pregnant with Rick's child. She was guilty enough for having kept her secret for so long, but she was here now and it wasn't just to fix up her aunt's house. She had friendships to repair, and she had to find a way to break the news to Rick. She hoped there was some way they could move forward in a mature fashion.

"You may not know it Sasha, but I do miss you."

"You never called…" Sasha slouched with her response. Michonne saw the toll their strained friendship took on Sasha. She knew it would be the same for Maggie and Andrea too.

"I'm here now." She was tired of the loneliness. She was scared of bringing a child into the world by herself. That was probably her real reason for coming home. She didn't want to be alone anymore.

"Is he...is he seeing anyone?" She wanted to believe she asked the question because she didn't want the situation to be more complicated than it needed to be. In the deep recesses of her mind she simply couldn't picture anyone else in Rick's arms but her. She had no right to be thinking these thoughts. Not when she was the one that ran away from him in the first place. They both felt things that first night, it started long before their lips touched and their bodies joined. She was just too scared to give it a chance.

"Well, he goes out with Jessie Anderson now and then. She's originally from Alexandria. Works at the museum. I don't think it's anything serious."

Nodding her head because she didn't have anything to say, she stared at the beam of light reaching into the living room, she never got a chance to bask in the simple act of appreciating a pretty sun beam when she was living in the city.

"Could we just keep this between us until…"

"Of course." Sasha rushed her response, letting Michonne know the ball was in her court.

Trying to rid them of the awkward silence that settled between them Sasha cleared her throat, "Maggie and Glenn are getting married."

Michonne's eyes lit up, " Really? That's great."

"Yeah Hershel's real proud. We've been getting ready for the big day. Rick is Glenn's best man."

 _Of course he is,_ Michonne wanted to say, but held back. She was happy for Maggie and Glenn, those two were made for each other.

"They''re having a joint bachelor and bachelorette party tomorrow night. You know Glenn and Maggie, weird as hell." Sasha laughed and shook her head. "I know Maggie will want you there once she knows you're in town." Sasha ran a hand through her beautiful coils before she added, "Rick will be there."

Michonne's eyes lit up at the fact. Sasha wasn't holding back on the need for Rick to know what was going on. Michonne had been working up her courage for months to face him and tell him she was pregnant. She knew what she had to do and wouldn't rest until the deed was done, damn the consequences.

"It would be nice to see everyone again." Although inside she was cringing at the thought of one of their group sessions.

"I better get going. Daryl and I are going to see a movie." Sasha moved towards the door, ready to take her leave.

"Hey Sasha. Do you know any contractors? I need to hire someone to assess the house to see how much work needs to be done. Someone reasonable but good." She didn't want to delay her plans. The baby was going to be arriving soon and she had to get the depreciating house ready.

"Michonne, you know the guys won't have you paying anyone when they can come help you out."

"No. No. I couldn't impose on them."

Sasha walked back to Michonne and took her hand, "You haven't been living her for seven years, but you're still family. You never turn your back on family."

Michonne's eyes grew full with unshed tears. She was undeserving of the grace Sasha was pouring out, but she'd take it. "Thank you."

"Mom made some chicken noodle soup earlier, I'll bring you a bowl okay. You should eat and get some rest. You look exhausted."

Michonne watched Sasha exit through the way she came. One hurdle was over. She knew she would face everybody soon enough, but Rick was first on the list. She hoped he could be as forgiving as Sasha.

"Michonne." Sasha peeked through the front door after she had closed it behind her.

"Yeah."

"For what it's worth, I'm glad you're back." When Sasha smiled, she smiled with her eyes too. It was a beautiful sight.

"I appreciate that." Michonne replied, unsure of what to say, but certain of the way Sasha's sentiment made her feel. Hope was renewed inside her. She still had Rick to face, but there was a strong conviction in her soul that coming home had been the right thing to do.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you everyone for all the follows/favorites. I also appreciate all the reviews! I** **love hearing what you guys think!** **Here's the third installment.**

 **I'm also not over all the Grimes 2.0 feels from the last episode of TWD! They are such a beautiful family!**

 **Anyways, enjoy the update!**

 **Sophia**

* * *

Maggie and Glenn were going to be pleased with the amount of effort that had gone into the preparation for their party. Rick's house had been a hectic hub of activity since around lunchtime. He gave Rosita carte blanche to work her decorative magic on his recently repainted home. The day was rushing by, he joined the organizing when his boys came over but lost track of time. Rick did his best to ensure everybody had what they needed as they all worked together to give the sweethearts' of a couple, an evening they'd never forget.

What Rick hadn't been prepared for was the large projector screen Shane and Glenn had set up in his living room not too long ago. The slide show of his friends in their youth caught him off guard. Rick and Daryl had been ferrying the drinks from the back of his Ford to his recently mowed backyard where they had five large ice tubs set up to chill the drinks. On their second trip Rick almost lost his balance seeing Michonne as a lanky teenager, looking larger than life on his living room wall. The halogen lamp made Michonne stand out amongst her friends. Maybe it wasn't the light source at all, it was probably his preference for her ethereal beauty that made him zero in on her.

Andrea, Sasha, Maggie and Michonne were standing in a row, hugging each other by the waist reminding him somewhat of links on a chain. The backdrop of the calm beauty of what Rick recognized as Blue Basin Lake stood behind them like a jigsaw puzzle. The girls were all smiles, but although there was a huge grin on young Michonne's face, he caught a glimpse of the sadness behind her eyes.

Without warning or request he was sucked into her gravitational force again even though he was already feeling off kilter by her photo. For the next few minutes he promised himself he wouldn't look in the direction of the projector while he and Daryl continued to offload the alcohol. His resolve was futile as he was unable to exercise any control in the matter. He resigned himself to taking in the slide show. It amazed him that Michonne's withdrawal still left such a definitive footprint on the people he now considered his family. It was almost like they were trying to preserve her memory like a fossilized dinosaur. Her name was mentioned in conversation and they were always recalling fond memories together. It made a day of celebration like today, feel like she was present too.

He empathized in silence, he knew the feeling of struggling to hold onto Michonne well.

He found out soon after her retreat from his life that even though what they had was a lengthened one night stand, there had been no one night stand where his heart was concerned. So although there were remnants of anger and resentment for her callous departure from his bed, he latched onto the beautiful, youthful Michonne, accepting that seeing her even in a projected form made him feel like she was still there with him.

Her smile hadn't changed and her beauty never strayed. He remembered her sweet laugh like yesterday, she was always laughing at something silly he said or because he had made her the worst pancakes in pancake making history on that perfect rainy Sunday morning.

For the most part, he had been doing fine. He wasn't struggling anymore with releasing his dreams every morning his eyes peeked at the sunlight reaching into his bedroom. He let go of all hope a while ago that he would hear from the woman who made him realize he could feel things again. He had forgotten how deprived he'd become of watching her even breaths while she slept. It was beginning to slip his memory that for a good few weeks after her sudden departure he felt like a car running without a battery. It felt like a lifetime ago that he was driving himself crazy thinking about touching her face again or hearing the heady hum of satisfaction when he brought her to climax.

He made himself forget. It was the only way he could be fine now. After all, he was the one who went against their agreement, but if given the chance at forever he would've tried for Michonne.

Jessie had been a good distraction, an easy one for his aching heart. She was everything Michonne wasn't, even the things he didn't know about the dark skinned beauty he could tell Jessie didn't share an iota of any of Michonne's compelling attributes. In hindsight, maybe the dichotomy of personalities is why he began seeing Jessie in the first place. It was cocky of him to think that Jessie couldn't hurt him while on the other hand he knew Michonne could break him down like a fraction. The blonde had been a quick and easy friend. As his callous friend Shane put it at the time, Jessie was a good palate cleanser from whatever girl had obviously broken his heart.

She become a good friend to him, but that was about it.

Daryl observed Rick's determined stride slow down every time they crossed the living room. He wasn't entirely surprised to discover the reason for their dip in production was the throwback from way back slide show that was in progress. With a new picture popping up every three seconds, Daryl too got drawn into reminiscing of some of the best times of his life. There were lots of pictures with Glenn and Maggie who were the couple of the hour, but if someone wanted to get a clearer picture of the length of time they all knew each other the photographs of yesteryear was a time piece gold mine.

Maggie and Glenn were a cut out of a bigger circle. The pictures of summer vacations and sleep overs, road trips and study sessions of everyone appearing on the screen had been a nice touch to showcase that while Maggie and Glenn were a bonafide couple in their own right they came from a circle of friends who truly loved each other. The only spoke in the wheel was that Michonne was present in the majority, if not all of the pictures. The visual of teenage Michonne had stopped Rick in his tracks.

It had been two weeks after Yvette's funeral when Rick had confessed about their dalliance one Friday evening at his brother's bar. The admission had shocked Daryl, but made him take a closer look at Rick, finally understanding his piss poor mood as the weeks had blended into one another. He deduced that whatever his two friends had over the few days wasn't a fling, at least not on Rick's part.

The revelation had been a strange one considering Rick wasn't the love and marriage type, but it was the only logical explanation for his sullen disposition.

Daryl shook his head, remembering the night of that big reveal; pity that Rick didn't know if there was one thing his childhood friend was good at, it was leaving. Everybody knew he and Merle grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, so if anybody was supposed to be the loner in this life it should've been him. The more he tried to hold onto his friendship with Michonne before college started the more he felt her slipping away. He knew there was a good chance they would've all found different paths once College was over, he never expected for Michonne to just up and leave without a backwards glance. Every visit after that, as sporadic as it was, he saw the evolution of what the group shared collectively grow from _us_ to _us_ and _her._

King County was home, just not for her. When Sasha told him the news this morning, he was stunned, but more curious than ever about the catalyst for her return.

Things were about to change, Daryl knew he had to tell his buddy that Michonne was back in town. He didn't want him blindsided in the event they bounce up randomly somewhere. He had to tread lightly with Rick as previous conversations about Michonne always left him in a sour state. Not that they spoke about her often, but her name had been brought up a few times. It was Rick's forced neutral disposition that lead Daryl to believe he was more affected by her leaving him than he was letting on. He knew Rick and Jessie had an odd back and forth thing going on, but even that was one sided because the artistic blonde was smittened with Rick and his jaded, non committing friend was unmoved by her teenage like affection.

"Hey man can we talk." Daryl caught the beers Rick threw at him and stuffed them in the ice tubs.

"Yeah wassup?" Rick asked thinking they could set up the rented chairs next. The weather was cool today, so they weren't extremely hot while working, they could get a few things done before the girls arrived. Abandoning his task, Daryl sat on the stacked party chairs while Rick watched him with vested interest.

Why did work have to come to a halt if he just wanted to talk?

"I ain't gonna beat around the bush or nothin' so I'm just gonna say it." Daryl maintained eye contact with Rick, ready to gauge his reaction so he could provide the appropriate response. "Michonne is back in town."

Rick's eyebrows raised at the mention of her name. Daryl observed him tilt his head, it was quick but it didn't get past him.

Michonne was back in town? If what Daryl was saying was true then Rick would ensure that her presence didn't affect him. Pretty much like how their four days of bliss didn't affect her.

"Okay."

"You alright?"

Rick gave a half smile at Daryl's concern, the man was like a brother to him even though they didn't agree on a lot of things. At the end of the day he knew Daryl was always in his corner.

He laughed, shrugging his shoulders, "I'm good. What we had is over. It was over since the morning she left my bed. I'm fine." Even if he wasn't, he would convince himself otherwise. He was a bit curious though about what had brought her back to King County knowing how much being back in the town dwarfed her spirit.

"She here for a visit?"

"Sasha said she's back for good. Didn't say nothin' else."

Her sudden return had piqued his interest, but it wasn't his business, he'd do his best to avoid Ms. Duke. The only issue he could foresee was any potential awkwardness if and when she imbedded herself into the clan again. They would have to be pleasant at least, although he couldn't say it was going to be an easy feat.

It was a premature thought, Michonne prided herself on her independence. She didn't need anyone. Being back home might not change that scared part of her. She hadn't left her number or her address in the city because she didn't want to be contacted.

Sure, he had enough connections he could've tracked her down, he'd be lying to say the thought didn't cross his mind a few times. Instead he chose to respect her decision, as hurt as he was.

"I hope she finds whatever it is she's lookin' for," Rick said, taking over Daryl's task of retrieving the bottles of beer and stuffing them into the blocks of ice.

"Yeah...umm..there's one more thing." Daryl folded his arms, watching Rick as he devoted all his energy to organizing the beer in the tubs, even the ones that were already packed.

Rick didn't say a word as he worked, waiting for Daryl to drop the other shoe.

How bad could it be? She had brought along a city boyfriend? A fiance? A husband maybe? He wished he would just come out and say it, whatever _it_ was.

"Sasha invited her to the party tonight." It was almost an incoherent sentence, but he understood Daryl's mutter.

Rick straightened from his crouch position, "Sasha invited her here? To my house?" He was trying to process that he would be seeing Michonne's face in a few hours, somehow that didn't bode well with him. Out of the three women he had gotten to know over the past couple of years, he was closest to Sasha. He helped her navigate her new relationship with Daryl as she always told him he had a better handle on the biker cop she had fallen in love with. Sasha didn't know about him and Michonne, so she wouldn't be able to determine the complexities of their Intimate acquaintance, so the invite was probably an innocent one.

"Wonder why she did that?" he said more to himself than to Daryl.

"I dunno man, she said sumthin' about it being inevitable or sumthin' like that. Didn't say much of anythin' else. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

"I appreciate that." He was grateful that he wasn't going to be blindsided by her beautiful face later.

"Jessie still comin'?" Daryl questioned, falling back into the preparation for the party. Rick's house was the biggest among them. The sprawling two bedroom, country style house had a front and back porch, a large backyard for summer barbeques and enough room inside to house all of Glenn and Maggie's family and friends. The purchase had been a steal of a deal when he moved to King County. The previous owners were a retired couple who decided on a whim to move to Florida to be closer to their only daughter. The house needed some major repairs, but Rick bought it at a decent price despite the work it required. He was handy like that, now the house was looking brand new after all of his hard work. Daryl always thought it was ironic that Rick said he always wanted a big house, but there would be no wife and kids to full up the insides. He understood the importance of owning your own space so he didn't needle him too much on it.

"She was invited." He almost forgot about Jessie coming to the party. He told Maggie that they weren't exclusive so there was no need to invite her, but Maggie reminded him they hung out a few times over the summer, she knew Jessie didn't have much friends and she didn't want her feeling left out.

What he had with Jessie was hard to categorize, she had been a much needed distraction after Michonne left. He was too confused by the feelings her leaving stirred inside him, so he latched on to the unashamed attention Jessie was throwing his way. Only the distraction didn't last long, Jessie knew he didn't want anything serious. The truth was he simply didn't want anything serious with her. He had been dating Jessie off and on for four months and his feelings towards her hadn't migrated. Michonne had thrown a wrench in his bachelor plans in only four days. It was one of the reasons he and Jessie hadn't gone further than kissing, he couldn't entertain the thought of taking Jessie to his bed, not when he could still smell Michonne's scent in his sheets despite how many times he'd washed them. If he closed his eyes tight enough he could still feel her warm, supple form falling asleep on his chest after an intense love making session. She branded his bed pretty much the same way she branded his heart, but he was done with falling in love with a ghost.

He was angry at her too, because of her he couldn't bring _any_ woman to his bed for that matter. His reticence towards intimacy was messing with his head. He needed to get her out of his head, maybe seeing her at least once would do the trick. It was why he was resolute to remain indifferent. Even if they got the awkward opportunity to talk he could predict it wasn't going to be pleasant chatter. He knew whatever Michonne had to say, if anything at all, he didn't want to hear it. Too much time had passed for an apology.

"Well the evenin' is going to be an interesting one." Daryl said.

Rick didn't bother with a reply, he grabbed the next set of plastic chairs and began to set them out.

* * *

"I hate that dress Mags," Andrea said as Maggie did a twirl in front of the floor length mirror.

Andrea adjusted her position on Maggie's bed. The dark blue thin strap dress was hanging too loose on Maggie's tiny frame for Andrea's liking. "You're going to your bachelorette party, not the house of the Lord."

Maggie rolled her eyes at Andrea's comment, she loved the dress she chose. It had been a gift from her mother when they went shopping two days ago. "Not everything has to be raunchy Drea."

"Sorry I'm late!" Sasha rushed into Maggie's bedroom, a little out of breath from climbing the Greene's staircase.

"Can't be late twice." Maggie was just happy to see Sasha. She had asked her two friends to come over to her house to get ready, that way they could all ride to Rick's together.

Sasha laid her garment bag down, tugging the zipper and pulling out a mini black dress with capped sleeves.

Andrea pointed to the sexy getup Sasha was holding, giving Maggie a convincing stare, "See!"

"I'm not changing my dress Andrea. It's cute. Besides, I don't want Glenn to get too riled up. We decided we're not gonna have sex before the wedding." Maggie still couldn't believe her vow at chastity at the age of twenty seven.

Andrea clutched her chest, mimicking the antics of a heart attack. "Say what now?" The dramatic blonde bombshell asked, her cascading hair falling partially on her well made up face.

Sasha laughed, folding her arms, waiting for Maggie's explanation.

"What? We decided that we want that giddy expectation on our wedding night," the bride to be explained.

"You're getting married in four weeks" Sasha gave a gentle reminder.

"No sex for a month?" Andrea's face twisted into a scowl. "You're a better woman than me Mags. I couldn't do it."

"Of course you can't." Sasha laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think it's cute Maggie. Good for you." Sasha gave Maggie a hug and sauntered into the bathroom to put on her dress.

"Phillip and I broke up." Andrea stated in a dry tone, as if she was discussing the color of the sea.

"What?!" Sasha peeked out from the bathroom. "I thought you two were going okay?"

"Nah. I was infatuated because he's so much older than me, but he's Samsung and I'm iPhone. It was never meant to be."

"Right." Maggie was putting on her _pink lush plump_ lipstick, trying not to take Andrea's phone compatibility analogy seriously. She glanced at her watch, thinking if they left in half an hour, they could be considered fashionably late to the party.

"Not to mention, now that he's running for the _guv'nah_ he's looking for a wife and not a girlfriend," Andrea added.

"There we go! There's my commitment phobic friend I know and love." Sasha danced out of the bathroom, her dress fitting her like a glove, showing off her alluring figure.

"So, you dumped him." Maggie gave Sasha two thumbs up for approval. "Not to take the spotlight or anything Andrea, but Sasha don't forget you have to fit for your maid of honor dress this week."

"Sasha's your maid of honor? What about me?" Andrea whined, including folded arms and a pout for dramatic effect.

"Honestly Andrea, I don't even know if I can depend on you to be a bridesmaid."

"Maid of honor is a big deal. I'm offended you didn't think of me to do something that I would've said no to," Andrea scoffed at Maggie.

"At this rate you'll be sitting next to Michonne." Sasha spoke under her breath, but the alarmed deer-in-headlights look Maggie shot her way, she had to assume her friend didn't follow her instructions. "You didn't tell her?"

"Tell her what?" Andrea stood up, waiting to be clued in on whatever was going on.

"I was waiting for you!" Maggie exclaimed.

"Tell. Her. What?" Andrea was growing concerned by the minute.

"Michonne is back."

There was a pregnant pause in the room.

"She here for a visit?" Andrea was able to ask, her voice surprisingly low.

"She's here to stay and she's coming to the party. Sasha invited her."

"You invited her?" Andrea turned to Sasha, throwing her hands in the air.

Andrea and Michonne had probably suffered the most from Michonne's leaving, at one time they had been like conjoined twins.

"Look she's going through a lot. She looked...all alone."

"That's not our fault," Andrea cut back sharply.

"I know it's not, but could we cut her some slack?*

"We always do," Andrea shrugged. Maggie and Sasha's sad expression was trying to pull guilt out of her, but she wasn't having it.

"Look, this is Michonne. We all know she isn't staying. Small town life, with small town people like us isn't her style." After all this time, what hurt the most for Andrea was being close to someone who she would've never expected to turn her back on her.

"She's here to stay. Yvette left her the house. She is gonna fix it up."

"There's so much work to be done on that house." Maggie wondered if she already hired help.

"I think she's sorry."

"For what? Leaving without saying a word? She thought a letter was okay after what she did?" Andrea's tone was shaky, remembering the letter she got that Monday morning in June.

"I'm saying maybe now we'll find out what made her stay away." Sasha placed a comforting arm on her friend.

"I'm glad she's back. Sometimes things happen for a reason." Maggie said gathering up her clutch and cell phone.

Sasha was itching to tell them Michonne was pregnant, but in the spirit of transparency she needed to protect Michonne's privacy, even in her absence. The girls would find out by tonight. As would everyone else, including Rick.

Andrea held up a hand in surrender to herself, getting heated off something that happened seven years ago wasn't necessary. Michonne had been her best friend until she wasn't. Forgiveness was hard to come by when the person who hurt you never said sorry. She tried for the sake of the group whenever Michonne came around because it was apparent how much she was missed by all. She too got sucked into her aura again like a vacuum, but she knew better than anybody that it never lasts.

Maggie and Sasha appeared hopeful, she wasn't surprised. She was the realist among her friends with good reason. She loved the two women liked sisters, they'd been through so much together. They used to be the fantastic four before Michonne left. Andrea knew now that their old friend was back Maggie and Sasha would be open to slipping her back into their inner circle.

As much as she craved that closeness with Michonne again she had to protect her friends, and maybe herself to. She would observe first before she extended a permanent olive branch to Michonne again.

"We should go."

"Tonight should be interesting in the least," Andrea said following Sasha and Maggie out the door. Although there was a small part of her that wished Michonne changed her mind about coming to the party.

* * *

"I remember that day like it was yesterday." Sasha threw her head back and laughed, ensuring she kept a firm grip on her martini. "I was at Maggie's side trying to calm her down and Drea was to the back of us with a bat saying someone was about to catch these hands."

Mostly everyone present remembered the day Maggie sucker punched Anne Trashka in the school yard after she tried to steal her lunch. Although a series of ridiculously funny and unassumingly naughty games were played, the crew had managed to migrate to Rick's porch where they shared funny and embarrassing stories of each other over the past hour.

"She didn't see it coming." Glenn said, hi-fiving his wife to be, admiring her bravado and accuracy in serving Anne that day. Anne now operated a successful garbage compacting company and appeared to be a decent member of society. As the evening had been courted by the moon, a light, cool breeze followed suit, chasing away the dry heat of the afternoon. There was a silent promise that as the hours passed, a chill was going to settle in for the night.

For now they were content to hang out on the back porch. Their friend Rosita had done a good job with giving the house a campy feel despite being inside. Maggie had the crazy idea of having a camp themed party. S'mores, pancakes and cinnamon rolls were among the few tasty items stacked in abundance on the snack table. There were a few bottles of Rose` chilling in the coolers and some type of watermelon juice in a large clear bottle that everyone was afraid to touch because Shane said he made it himself.

"I always knew she was a force to be reckoned with," Rick laughed, fist bumping Maggie, wishing he'd been there to witness the fight.

"We didn't know at the time Michonne had already picked Anne's locker and stuffed her favorite teddy bear Winslow in the trash." Sasha offered up, giving the childhood story a weird ending, seeing that some of them fell silent.

At the mention of her name Rick reminded himself that he was supposed to be keeping busy. He didn't want to be in a lounging state if and when Michonne walked into his house. He didn't really want to face her, so avoidance was the next best thing. At least that's what he told himself. Clearing his throat, he eased Jessie's grip from the crux of his arm and pulled up the sleeves of his midnight blue Henley. He saw the unease Daryl and Sasha stared at him with and needed the escape. He had subconsciously glimpsed at his watch too many times already. It was already after eight o' clock, if Michonne was still coming, she shouldn't be out this late alone.

Not that he was worried about her safety, as a cop his concern was innate.

"Refill anyone?" Anything that would keep him busy for the next few minutes. He was grateful he received a few requests.

"Need any help?" Jessie asked, a giddy smile on her face. Rick knew she was just content to be among them, but he really wanted to be by himself for a little bit.

He brushed her off nicely, thinking that when he took her home later he'd have to find a way to let her know he'd be busy over the next few weeks and may not have the free time to spend with her. Not that they'd spend a lot of time together at present, but Jessie was becoming attached despite his disclaimer. The last thing he wanted to do was break her heart, he knew the pain of the sting. Even when the stinger was out the throbbing still lingered. He would rather nip it in the bud now rather than later.

He left the porch, walking through the TV room where a few of Glenn's friends were going hard on a video game he had never seen before.

He gathered Sasha's spiked punch refill, a touch up of whiskey for Daryl and lingered by the chips and dip for a few.

On his return through the living room he gathered he was too submerged in his thoughts, subconsciously conjuring up an image of Michonne at his front door. He had to have imagined her, only she didn't look out of reach. She looked radiant, even with the dimness of light. Her dark coat was reaching past her knees, he could tell it was one she would've worn in the city, fancy and fashionable just like her.

He took her in from afar, she hadn't seen him yet, she was wearing a dress below the black jacket, something with a low cut to the front making her breasts appear larger than he'd remembered.

He felt his feet turn in her direction. He continued to stare at her in disbelief, in some kind of dismantled hope that she was no longer a fixture in his dreams but something real that he could touch.

He called her name involuntarily, unsure of what he was going to say, "Michonne." He filtered his hand through his curls. "What the hell are you doing here?" Once he spoke he remembered she was here for the party. She certainly wasn't at his house to see him.

"Rick…," Michonne wished there wasn't disdain in Rick's voice when he said her name. Gone was the prayer, present was the curse. She wished Sasha had told her the party was going to be at Rick's. She couldn't tell off the bat from her directions, but once the taxi rounded the corner, there was no mistaking the beautiful maple tree to the front of Ricks yard.

She didn't think that he'd be the first one to greet her at the front door.

Rick shook his head when he realized she wasn't going to say anything substantial to him, something that would somehow appease him for her lack of manners seven months ago. "The guys are out back. Just follow through this room and you're there." He pointed towards the tv room to help her maneuver. He was proud of his neutrality, despite the resentment that was starting to burn his stomach.

Surprised by his cavalier attitude, she remained rooted at the door. Although fear and apprehension was begging her to turn around and walk away, but she was done running.

She had enough of a break, she was done taking breaks.

She was still struggling with the sharp pain in her lower back. It was more intense when she was on her feet, but she couldn't be side tracked from the mission at hand. The loud music blasting from the tall speaker at the back door was drowning out the steady pace drum of her heart beat, but added to the rhythmic throb at her temples. It had started when she spotted Rick, who was staring at her like she was an apparition.

All she could've done was ease her coat off, allowing him to see with his eyes what she was struggling to say. She felt her palms grow sweaty from his penetrating perusal of the fullness of her figure.

She saw Rick's face morph from anger to shock to an empty stare.

Unable to remove his eyes from the roundness of her belly Rick took his time to process the message he had just received.

Michonne was pregnant.

They hadn't spoken in seven months but, something like recognition tugged at his gut with a firm grip.

His eyes pierced her nervous gaze. He teared up the remaining distance between them.

With Rick's two steps forward, Michonne took two steps backwards, they ended up on the porch, away from the few stares from the people in the living room.

Rick locked eyes with Michonne, his gaze demanding that she have the decency to stare into his soul again when she confirm with her lips what was already confirmed in his heart.

"It's mine isn't it?"

A single tear slipped down her cheek, her voice was struggling to find its way.

The fury in his eyes and desperation in Rick's tone caught her off guard, but this was why she came. She nodded a few times, hoping the dizziness she was feeling would be over soon. "Yes. The baby's yours."


	4. Chapter 4

_Yes. The baby's yours._

Rick weighed Michonne's sentence with a steady caution, contemplating the irreversible effects of four simple words. He had too much whiskey to drink, but he knew he was sober enough to understand Michonne was standing in the flesh in front of him, telling him she was having his child. She was beautiful, even more beautiful than he remembered, and she was pregnant. Her radiance didn't keep him from being irritated beyond all rationalities given she had kept her pregnancy a secret from him after all this time.

He had every right to be as angry as he felt.

The earth had shifted for him when he realized he was going to be a father. Still in disbelief at her admission, he tried not to be swayed by the tears that slipped down Michonne's cheek. He felt like all the s'mores and alcohol he had eaten was climbing up his throat. Raking a frustrated hands through his hair, he pinned the very pregnant woman with his gaze, "How far along are you?" His voice was raspy, he couldn't believe the question he was asking.

"Seven months." It came out like a whisper, the clog of emotions in Michonne's throat was making the simple task of inhaling and exhaling uncomfortable.

"Jesus Michonne!" Rick's voice was shaky now, from the shock of it all maybe.

He watched the woman he'd dream about for weeks in all her roundness press a hand to her temple. She had kept her pregnancy from him for seven months and he didn't know if he should be angry at what she'd hidden or be relieved she was present now, finally facing him.

"Can you just give me a second..." Feeling her equilibrium being threatened Michonne turned around on the wooden porch, grabbing the white railing like a lifeline, waiting for the topsy turvy upheaval she was experiencing in droves to subside. Sasha set her up by not advising her the party was at Rick's house. It was difficult to think clearly when images of her spread eagle on Rick's couch waiting not so patiently for him to taste her, danced naughtily in her head.

"You alright?" Rick thought Michonne was looking a bit distressed, he wanted to go to her but the news he was going to be someone's father nailed his worn cowboy boots to the ground. Michonne was going to have his baby.

 _Their_ baby.

He was going to be a father. He was nauseous at the thought, fearful of the finality of what a baby on the way meant for the both of them. His feelings were at war; he felt like fatherhood was something he was destined to fail at. Knowing his baby was resting in Michonne's belly gave him something to hold onto. He wasn't sure if it was faith or fear. Seven months had come and gone. She would've been alone during the early months of her pregnancy. Did she think he would've shirked his responsibility if she had let him know sooner?

He was conflicted, feeling robbed of the knowledge that they'd created life, not getting the chance to be where he needed to be.

"I just need a minute." Michonne waved Rick off, keeping her head in the direction of the ground because the position felt a little more stable than being upright.

"I thought we were careful."

He had driven to the drug store to grab a box of condoms after they'd use the only one he had in his house _._ The memory of their rapture that weekend hit him hard and fast. Saturday night specifically was etched in his mind forever, he had never desired a woman the way he craved Michonne. She'd been drunk off wine and he'd been drunk off her. He could pin point in full recollection where passion outweighed protection and desire overruled proper judgement.

"The kitchen…"

She said it the same time he did. All he could do was nod his head in agreement. They were in sync with their thoughts, just like before. He was staring at her again, this time with a subliminal inquiry to her actions. Rick's inquisitive gaze left her feeling subpoenaed. She was in the courtroom of one Rick Grimes; despite whatever she said at this point her verdict already read as _guilty._ His stand offness felt like a punishment fit for her crime. She was the lawyer between them, but she knew her defense was weak.

Rick crossed his muscled arms in anticipation.

She did the same, her stance defiant, but not for long. On second thought Michonne dropped her arms; she owed Rick an explanation of sorts.

"It was just time to go." She had no right feeling comfortable in Rick's arms the way she did that weekend. She didn't deserve to pretend she belonged there. It would be foolish of her to think four days could turn into eternity.

"You mean when you left me?" His ego had suffered a blow, but the brunt of Michonne's rejection rested in his heart.

To his satisfaction the glimpse of guilt he saw in her eyes appeased him a bit. Guilt meant there was an iota of care somewhere inside her. That's what he hoped for.

"Why didn't you at least call? I didn't know if you were okay out there." It burdened him for weeks that she didn't think he had the proper credentials to know things like that.

The softness of Rick's tone pulled her back a bit, giving her call backs of their time together. As much as Rick was all hubris, there was a gentleness in the way he touched and spoke to her during those few days that left her wanting, even now.

"I wanted to call but..." She was afraid the sound of his voice would fully convince her heart that she was already halfway in love with him. Leaving him had been the right thing to do. Only now she was back where she started, but she had someone else to think about.

"This why you're back? You here to tell me we're having a baby?" He surmised she was on his doorstep out of a sense of obligation. They were bound to run into each other sooner or later.

"I'm back because I wanted to be. And because I thought it was time to let you know I was pregnant."

Rick rubbed his eyebrows with his thumb and forefinger, "Good thing you're aunt left you the house then." The careless shrugged in his shoulders betrayed the look of indignation on his face. "Would you have come back? Would I have ever known you were pregnant?" The words still felt foreign on his lips, but he needed to know her answer.

"I needed you to know. I'm sorry I kept it from you for so long." She made a decision everyday to call Rick to let him know she was pregnant, but she never got the bravado. After their conversation in the bed of his truck she wasn't sure what kind of reception she would've gotten from Rick. She was taking away his agency in the matter by showing up and announcing her pregnant status. She wanted to believe at his core was a man who would never turn away the woman carrying his child, despite having no say in the matter. On the other hand she didn't want him to feel obligated to them. The last thing she wanted to be to Rick was a burden.

Eventually trying turned into not trying and guilt turned into something she convinced herself she could live with. Everything that kept happening pointed to returning to King County, it was as if the universe was working against her well laid plans. She didn't have much close friends in the City, when she thought of people she could truly rely on if anything happened to her or the baby all roads lead back to _home._ When the letter came that Yvette left her the house she knew it wasn't happenstance. She submitted her two weeks notice to the firm she had been working at for the past three years and surrendered her lease. Telling Rick about the baby was inevitable, but with her return to King County she knew she had to let him know right away.

She didn't know how he was going to feel about her being pregnant, she still didn't. All she knew was he was angry and upset as he rightfully should be. Anger was good, anger meant he cared in someway.

"This is something a man should know don't you think?."

"I remember what you said that night Rick. A wife and kids isn't in the cards for you. I was trying to respect that."

He felt like she'd cut him with a razor. "You decided to base a decision over one conversation we had over seven months ago? Who gave you the right?"

"Am I wrong? Did you change your mind on that?"

Her cadence was sharp, he took a step back. "At this point my answer is irrelevant don't you think?" He pointed at her belly for an obvious reference.

"I don't have any expectations of you Rick," she said in a rush, lifting her head, trying to catch his gaze. No expectations meant she wasn't going to be let down.

He tilted his head, invading her personal space, "You don't expect anythin' of me? You wanna run that by me again?"

She took an incognito whiff of his scent, feeling content with knowing he wore the same cologne. The scowl on his face however, was new.

"Do you even want this baby?" He wasn't sure why he asked, but his brain was muddled.

"I'm seven months pregnant, don't you think it's a little too late to ask that question?" She was being sarcastic, but the thought of not having this baby never crossed her mind. His question made her feel defensive. The surge of abject awareness he pulled out of her was one of the reasons she had slipped out without saying goodbye; Rick brought to the surface a series of emotions she didn't know existed. For an emotional hoarder like herself, she was running scared. She had grown accustomed to ignoring her feelings, pretending they didn't exist.

"Well forgive me for not being able to ask you that sooner."

She forgot his sarcasm game was strong too, but this wasn't the sarcasm Olympics.

"I'm here now Rick. We're going to be parents. It's okay if you're not ready for that. It's a big change."

He was going to ignore the subtle hints of her having no expectations of him. He figured Michonne was a woman who needed actions and not words to show her when someone was serious and he was more than up for the challenge. Two horny teenagers at the back of a Cracker Barrell could make a baby, but that didn't make them parents. It took a man to step up and be a father. Dammit he was going to try.

"Do you know what we're havin'?"

Michonne cringed at the word _we,_ hating that it made her feel so hopeful and so sad at the same time. They weren't a _we._ They were two people who had spent an electrifying weekend together, getting careless in the exhilaration.

"I don't know yet, I kinda wanted it to be a surprise." The more advanced she got in her pregnancy the more excited she became. She wanted her baby and every uncertain decision that came with it. Even if she had to do it all alone.

"Why did you leave without sayin' goodbye?" She had left him like a thief in the night, similar to his father. It was increasingly onerous trying to not draw the comparison.

Her shoulders dipped, everything she had come up with sounded like excuses. Rick deserved better than some half assed cop out.

It was hard to stay mad at her when he thought about the bigger picture. A baby was on the way, there wouldn't be any turning back for him, even if he was scared shitless.

Michonne thought the stress of the reveal was giving her a headache, her legs felt weak from the constant tormenting pain in her lower back. The music seemed louder, the laughter and noise coming from inside reminding her she had pulled him away from a get together she wasn't really invited to. The crisp night air was now thick and hot, making her want to cut her debut short.

"Rick let's not make this any harder than it needs to be."

"Funny you say that when you're the one that left."

"That's not fair." She was curious if what Sasha said about Rick pining away for her was true. It couldn't have been for long if he was dating Jessie.

"Life isn't fair sometimes."

Things were too heated between them for rationale to step in. They needed to talk things over when both their heads were clear. She knew she had delivered a blow to Rick and he needed time to think everything over.

She already had her adjustment period, he deserved his.

"I should go." She rubbed her large belly without thought, soothing the restless baby on the inside. Her stomach felt tight to the touch and she was beginning to worry that whatever she was feeling wasn't going to pass over with one of her aunt's famous mood teas.

"Can we meet up, maybe tomorrow? Discuss how we're gonna work this out?" She had no plan in place, but the worst was over.

Rick shrugged his shoulder in response. She was asking for a meeting like they were working out the schedule for a cat they co-owned.

He couldn't take his eyes off her belly at times, but there was a dullness in her eyes and an exhaustion in her stance that he took full note of.

"We can. I'll take you home."

"You don't have to do that." She tried to straighten her back, wondering where the need to prove to Rick she could take care of herself was coming from.

"How did you get here?" He folded his arms, concern lacing his eyebrows. Even her voice sounded tired.

Desire flickered inside her, shocking her seven months pregnant state. Rick had that country strong appeal, he wore it like a suit of armor. The city muscle she had lived with for seven years paled in comparison.

"I called a taxi." Michonne looked up at the guarded porch lights catching a glimpse of the bioluminescence of the fireflies. The light carrying creatures were a nice distraction from the heated conversation going on between her and Rick.

"I'll take you home Michonne. It's late." His tone didn't mask the severity of non compliance very well.

She conceded. "Fine." She didn't have the energy to fight with Rick about methods of safe transportation.

"And in future If you need a ride to anywhere around here you call me. Okay?"

"Okay." As much as she wasn't pleased about shifting some control to Rick, she felt lightened knowing that she could depend on him despite what she'd done. She was hoping they could be friends from here on out. Rick had been a reprieve from her grief, and a distraction from the Damascus road she found herself on. She said it enough times that she convinced herself that it was true. Whatever they shared had dissipated as the months rolled into each other. The neutral manner Rick was looking at her now, reinforced her thoughts. What they had was all gone now. She hoped a friendship could be salvaged at least.

"Okay."

Along with her migraine, the laughter inside had increased since they'd been outside. Assuming everybody inside were having a good time wasn't a far leap. She was nostalgic for the laughter, for a place she held among her friends without care or concern it would ever be taken away from her.

"Can I sit for a minute? I don't feel so -" She tried grabbing onto the railing as she felt her vision blur and her knees buckle. She was no competition for Rick's swift action.

Without hesitation he scooped her in his arms, rushing inside the house.

"Clear the couch! Now!" he shouted.

* * *

"Sasha!" Rick called for his friend who was a certified paramedic after placing Michonne on his couch. He felt for a pulse. His police training was failing him. He was too worried about Michonne and the baby to be useful. Her pulse was strong but her face was pale and she was sweating.

"Party's over guys! Everybody out!" Shane said, already swift in action. They had been roused from the back porch with all the commotion in the living room.

Shane ushered the stragglers and acquaintances out. Andrea ran into the kitchen to grab a towel and Maggie had already grabbed her phone to call the paramedics.

"Michonne. Talk to me? What happened?" Sasha was trying to stay calm, allowing her experience to reside over her concern for her friend. She wasn't even aware she had arrived.

Michonne was mumbling, her eyes were barely open. She had one hand stuck to her belly like glue.

"I think she fainted. One minute we were talking and the next she said she wasn't feeling well, and she just sorta collapsed." Rick was right by her side, holding her hand. He wanted her to know he was here now and she didn't have to go through anything by herself.

He whispered a prayer that their baby was okay.

"Michonne, have you been experiencing any problems during your pregnancy?"

Daryl brought a glass of tap water, advising Sasha that she should take a sip. Rick helped her get upright, seeing her reach out for the glass in desperation. Dehydration was something that can be easily addressed if it was the reason for her sudden weakness.

"No problems," she said, coherent enough to realise she was leaning on Rick.

"Who's your doctor?" Rick asked, thinking it was something he needed to know.

"I haven't found one yet." Speaking to Hershel about a good obstetrician was on her agenda for later down in the week.

"We'll get you one. A good one."

"Her pulse is kinda high," Sasha observed on her second check.

"Guys I'm fine." Michonne couldn't remember Rick feeling so warm, she snuggled into him some more, much to her surprise and Rick's interest.

"Daddy said to get her over to the hospital," Maggie said in a rush. Hershel had been King County's head surgeon for most of their lives. He was skilled in his field and dealt with his patients with compassion. Maggie trusted his judgement.

"Ambulance is on its way. Should be here in two minutes," Sasha said.

Michonne was feeling overwhelmed and claustrophobic. The guys were standing around like guards securing a building, Sasha, Maggie and Andrea looked like three headless chickens fussing over her. It was comforting and disconcerting when she thought about it. It wasn't the greeting she expected to give them, it was just like her to make an entrance. It didn't sit right with her that she still felt like a lego trying to fit into a puzzle, not when she used to be the finishing piece of this squad. It made her even more grateful for their willing presence, she knew things weren't perfect between them. She wanted to be worthy of them again.

She handed Daryl the half full glass of water, taking her optimism as a good sign.

She noticed the blonde sitting on the bar stool by the kitchen counter and assumed she was the Jessie Sasha told her about. For a minute she forgot Rick was seeing someone. She looked confused and alone in the corner by herself.

Michonne felt a kind of way that all focus was on her, Rick hadn't even glanced in Jessie's direction or made an attempt to explain the situation to her. She didn't know how serious or not serious they were, all she knew was she wasn't here to complicate Rick's life. She needed to remember she wasn't just affecting his life alone with her news. If she and Rick could stay amicable, finding a clear way forward maybe things would turn out better than she expected. She had to try for their baby's sake. She had to find a way to avoid thinking about how handsome Rick had become now that his curls were thicker and longer, or how his marked beard made him more striking, appealing to the dormant places inside her.

She wanted him to still have Jessie in the end. Jessie didn't look like Rick's type, but it was none of her business. She wasn't going to bring Jessie up just yet. What she wanted right now was his forgiveness, she didn't deserve much of anything else from him.

"I think we should go. Get you checked out. Make sure everything's okay." Rick tightened his hold on her, almost like if he was afraid once loose she would slip out from under him again.

Michonne let go a deep sigh, there was that _we_ again. It was emboldening. When Rick said it, it sounded wholesome, promising even, but she wasn't sure she could put trust in it.

She nodded, too tired to speak. She hoped it wasn't going to be a long night. She already had enough on her plate. Above everything else she prayed her baby, _their_ baby was alright.

* * *

 _Boom. Boom. Boom._

The sound of the baby's heartbeat was a humbling experience for him. He didn't know when he reached for Michonne's hand but the sound of his baby's beating heart made everything more real to him. He and Michonne had created something special.

He looked at Michonne, their faces mirrored the same revere. Despite the external dilemmas they were faced with everything seemed to be okay on the inside with the child they had made together.

He couldn't fail this kid, not in the way his dad failed him. He wouldn't abandon Michonne or their baby. He wasn't sure what he had to do, but he knew what it felt like when his father walked out. His no kids rule may have been a protective measurement. Michonne was teaching him that life couldn't be as controlled as he thought.

"Is it supposed to be that fast?" Rick questioned.

Michonne observed Rick from the corner of her eyes, she knew hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time would affect him deeply but she wasn't expecting the softness in his face or the fragile way he held her hand.

The sound had changed her life, his too.

"It's normal considering…"

"Considering what?" Michonne asked, trying to ease her hand out of Rick's. It was too easy to get comfortable with him.

Siddiq was the last person she was expecting to be the main doctor on call. Having her old boyfriend attend to her while the father of her child stood by her side unmoving was enough for her to either laugh or cry at the irony of it all.

"Has your BP been okay the last few months?" The doctor asked holding her chart to his chest.

Michonne sat up on the bed, the small hospital room was small and uncomfortable. She was ready to go home. Her headache was a lingering pain, faint enough that it was no longer a discomfort but the pain in her back was still present.

"It was normal two weeks ago." She had gone to her doctor in the city to ensure she was okay to fly.

"It's high enough now that I think I wanna keep you for observation," he said slowly, knowing she'd be reluctant to agree with his suggestion.

"What? No Siddiq! I'm not staying here."

"What's the reading now?" Rick said, taking note of the familiarity between Siddiq and Michonne. Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket, he checked his messages and sent a simple _Thank you_ once Daryl told him he had dropped Jessie safely home. He knew he couldn't delay his talk with Jessie now. He focused on Michonne again, who was busy chatting up a storm with the doctor who seemed to know her well. It had been awkward enough when Michonne revealed he was the father of her child. The bulletin explained why Rick refused to leave the room while she was being checked out.

He showed Rick the reading on the chart and watched his eyebrows shoot up in concern.

Siddiq approached the other side of Michonne's bed, catching her gaze as he spoke. "You've been dizzy, you've been having headaches -"

"She has one right now," Rick said as though he had just discovered the tombs.

"Thank you Doctor Grimes!" Michonne threw out, her sarcasm earned her a head tilt from Rick, she struggled to keep the amusement out of her tone.

"I'm just saying the headaches, nausea and dizziness aren't such a good sign. I need you off your feet for a bit."

Being off her feet was the last thing Michonne needed right now. Everything was coming to a head. She had to get the house ready for the baby. She didn't have much time to play with. She had put her plan to paper, all it needed now was execution.

"Kermit -" Michonne said, using Siddiq's nickname as a way to appeal to some leniency, "I promise I'm going to take it easy. Minimal activities and we can have scheduled weekly visits."

"That's Doctor Kermit to you." Siddiq laughed, remembering how a few jokes in high school gave him that horrible moniker. Nobody had referred to him as Kermit in years.

"I see she's still stubborn." He turned to Rick, unsure of the full extent of their relationship.

"I won't do anything to jeopardize this baby," Michonne said.

"That's good because I'm putting you on complete bed rest."

"Screw you Kermit!"

"I remember the last time you said that to me," he teased, bringing a reluctant smile to Michonne's face.

"Am I missin' somethin' here?" Rick was feeling agitated, the good doctor was flirting with Michonne right in front of him, if he wasn't in charge of her care he probably would have punched him in his face.

"We used to date." Michonne informed.

"A very long time ago."

"Until he left me for that tramp, umm what was her name?" She tapped her chin, jogging her memory, "Michelle Towazinski! Whatever happened to the skank?" she asked.

"I married her," Siddiq said proudly, gaining a decade long sense of satisfaction from the surprised look on Michonne's face.

"Oh," Michonne was ashamed of her loose mouth. It was a gift she gained when she hit her sixth month.

Rick wasn't entertained by the conversation before him in the least, but he liked the tongue tied version of Michonne. It reminded him of the first time he tasted her essence, she had clutched his hair and didn't speak for a full five minutes. He was certain she wasn't that way with Siddiq or anyone else she'd been with.

"Who's available to stay with you?" Siddiq adjusted one of the beeping machines behind her and checked the drip bag one more time. On top of her high blood pressure Michonne had also been dehydrated. She felt like she had been careless with her health and the health of her baby despite taking every precaution, but was having a baby sitter really necessary?

"No one."

"Sasha? Andrea?"

She weighed Siddiq's suggestion, but there was no way she could impose on Andrea and Sasha like that.

"She'll stay with me." Rick said, breaking his silence.

"What? No!" she exclaimed.

"Michonne Daryl told me about the repairs to be done on the house. It's not safe for you over there. It makes sense to stay with me. I have the room." Rick had already decided he would go over to the house tomorrow and make a proper assessment.

"Oh right. Yvette left you the house. If construction is going to take place then I'm going to have to side with Rick here."

"Good Lord! Is anything private around here?" Michonne threw her hands in the air, exasperated from her adventurous night.

"Rick has a point."

"I haven't found anyone to do the work on the house yet. It's going to be delayed." She was trying to build a convincing case. "There's no need to be so extreme. I'll be okay by myself." She was doing okay so far, tonight not included.

"Michonne I didn't want to scare you before, but at this stage of your pregnancy high blood pressure can be a serious risk. We want to rule out preeclampsia at this point. You should take every precaution."

She froze at the mention of the word preeclampsia, she heard a few stories about the severity of the diagnosis. She needed to be smart about her circumstances. She looked at Rick who was staring back at her with determination in his eyes. He was right, so was Siddiq.

Rick wanted to believe they had reached an impasse of sorts, he felt the surrender in the both of them.

Michonne had to put pride away. "Okay."

"I'll leave you two to discuss the details." Siddiq walked out with a promise he'd be back after making his rounds.

"You and I living under the same roof might not be a good idea." She wondered what were Rick's thoughts on their latest developments.

"We're not having this discussion Michonne. It's the only way I can take care of you." He needed to ensure they were both safe. Having her stubborn ass in his eyesight would give him peace of mind.

It wasn't so much what Rick said, but the way he said it that made her heart pound. He wanted to take care of her. She was exhausted from convincing herself she was one of those women that didn't need to be taken care of. It was doing her more harm than good being strong when she didn't have to be. She was having Rick's baby, she gathered for some men there was a sense of responsibility attached to the notion; a certain duty of care that Rick would not take lightly.

"I appreciate your generosity Rick, but I didn't want to disrupt your life."

It was too late for him, she had disrupted his life that evening when they had spent half the night gazing at stars.

"I have a big house. You don't have to see me unless you want to." He wanted her to want to see him as much as he did her.

"That's not the reason and you know it."

"Then what is it Michonne? You come here after seven months, tell me I'm going to be a father and expect me to not feel anything? What exactly do you want from me?"

"For one I don't want you to be angry at me anymore."

"Forgive me if that takes a while." He scratched his chin and sat next to her on the bed.

He took her hand and arrested her with the bluest gaze she had seen in a long time." I want to be here for you. You gonna let me?"

She nodded, thinking that forgiveness came in different forms, she wasn't going to be stupid and reject his help. She would stay at Rick's and get some much needed rest. It would be a temporary arrangement. Enough that they could repair the bridge in their relationship and fine a way to make things work when the baby came. Becoming friends made sense. Soon enough she would be back in the house she grew up in preparing for her baby's arrival. She laughed to herself, the one place she was running from seemed to be a safe haven now.

The baby chose that moment to kick. As if he or she knew his parents had decided to try for him. She reached for Rick's hand, pressing his palm over the thin sheet that covered her. His touch still burned her, even through a barrier. Rick grinned for the first time in a very long time feeling the baby kick against his hand. His palm was pressed firmly against Michonne's stomach, he thought he felt the formation of a foot. Pride covered him, knowing there was a little person growing on the inside.

"He's really in there huh?" It hadn't been confirmed, but Rick wanted this baby to be a boy.

"Sometimes it's still very surreal for me. Now you get to feel the kicks too." Michonne's smile lit up the entire room, he was blinded by the brightness of it.

They were united in something bigger than them. Rick felt the tug then, the aching desire to be a permanent part of his son's life. Everything had to have happened for a reason. Michonne was back for personal reasons, but he'd like to think she wanted to raise the baby in a place she considered home, even if she felt out of place in King County, the desire to be home was strong. Now that the house was going to be unavailable and her health had taken a small blow she needed him. His child deserved better than a part time father.

The answer was right in front of him, he didn't see it until now. He wanted to do right by her, by the both of them. Having a normal life was too important for him not to try. He wanted his kid to have a different life than the one he experienced, one where he understands he was always wanted.

"Rick?"

"Mmm?" Her soft voice took him out of his pensive thoughts. He gave her his full attention.

"I'm going to need some stuff from the house."

"Yeah. Already on it. Andrea and Sasha are gonna drop your stuff at my house."

He had been proactive, his consideration left her a little speechless.

"Thank you." Her friends had more than shown up for her.

"It's nothin'."

"No. It's everything." She touched his hand again. Memories didn't do the feeling justice. Touching him, being this close to Rick again made her feel joyous and off balanced. "I do want to make this work between us. Not just for the baby."

He nodded in approval. "That's good. I do too." They were on the right track.

"Good to know we're on the same page." She sat back against the pillow, feeling relaxed for the first time that evening.

"Now that it's been decided you're gonna be living with me for the next couple weeks I have something else to ask you." He had been plagued for a solution to their situation since their conversation on the porch. He still wasn't sure he had the right answer, but he wanted his child to have a chance at a good life. He was going to be a full time father. He wasn't going to accept for anything less.

"What is it?" Michonne covered her hand with his, ready to meet him halfway.

"I think you should marry me." Rick wasn't being sarcastic this time.

She could tell he was as serious as the migraine that had begun to throb at her temples.


	5. Chapter 5

"What did you just say?" Michonne cocked her head, needing to be certain of what she'd just heard. She pointed eagerly to the glass of water on the side table, Rick immediately retrieved the drink.

"I said I think you should marry me."

"This is a proposal? You're proposing to me?"

He did that jaw thing she liked, she had to make herself look away. Rick's cool cucumber facade irked her, a lot.

"If you wanna call it that," he shrugged. "Then I guess it is."

She took a few sips. Rick took the glass, returning it to its resting place. It remained a task for him not to think about the perfect shape of her lips, how they were once wrapped around him, taking ownership of his pleasure.

"No." Moving in with Rick was going to either be the start of World War Three or the beginning of an irreversible curse where she falls irrevocably in love with the King County sheriff. She couldn't afford to be blinded again. Yeah, she wasn't going to let that happen.

"It makes sense!" He had to take control, he wanted to be the kind of man that took responsibility for his actions. He feared being like his father, faced with a real life decision he saw for himself he had control over the circumstances. A measure of control could help him mitigate disappointment to the best of his ability. Maybe if he did it right, Michonne would find no reason to leave him.

She pressed her hand to her head for the fourth time that night, "I have another headache. Somehow I think you're the cause." She wondered if headaches induced by Rick was going to be a thing from now on.

"Yeah? Join the club."

Michonne squinted her eyes at him, annoyed by his sarcasm, impressed by his wit.

"We're not getting married Rick. Aren't things complicated enough?"

She rubbed her belly. It was a comforting action for her considering Rick's impromptu, unexpected marriage proposal.

"It benefits both of us. All three of us." Rick stepped closer to the bed and caressed her protruding tummy. The feelings Rick stirred within her was an enticement all of its own.

Michonne felt branded under his touch. She was in a danger zone; she didn't belong to Rick. It was too easy to pretend she did and it had only been one evening since they'd been reunited.

"How? Tell me how?"

"For starters you won't be doing this alone. I'll be right here with you." He was persistent with his cause, like an activist clamoring for change.

"We don't need to be married for that. We can agree to shared custody."

"I want my child to always have access to me." He ran his hands through his hair. He understood more than most how the lack of an established relationship with his father affected him. It was a gradual loss, starting with not remembering what his old man looked like. "What if you decide to leave again?" Rick crossed his arms, making her grateful she was already on a bed, because Rick's forearms threatened to make her knees weak and cut off her oxygen supply, in that order.

She stared up at him, trying to remain unaffected by his close proximity. "Is that what this is all about? You're afraid I might leave again?"

"Can you blame me?"

"I have no plans to keep you from this baby Rick. You can trust me." Her gaze was boring holes in his denim shirt while he lectured her. He had no right looking like an add for the first ever Esquire magazine - Texas edition.

"I've already missed so much Michonne." First doctor appointment, first kicks and God alone knows what else he'd been deprived of. "So forgive me if I'm not so sure about that."

Michonne winced at his cut and dry sentence. It was devoid of all emotion, but full of so much truth. She had given him no reason to trust her.

"You're still mad about me leaving you. I get that. But will we ever be able to move forward?" She touched his hand, curious about their ability to morph from squabbling, to being affectionate in a matter of seconds. "Why can't we treat that weekend for what it was? And be grateful for what came out of it."

"What was it for you Michonne?" The few times they did come up for air that weekend they laughed at their subterfuge and watched a few episodes of Parks and Recreation - because it was her favorite TV show. All the dark aspects of Rick's life faded into oblivion. Michonne made him rethink the way he wanted to live his life, he just never got the chance to tell her.

"We had an agreement Rick," she said, willing herself to not return to a place and time where she felt like she was actually where she was supposed to be. For the first time in a long time.

"We had a connection. That's how we went from kissing at the back of my truck to making love in my bed. There weren't any talks about escaping like a burglar without a note or even a phone number." His nostrils flared when he spoke, helping Michonne realize the magnanimity of her mistake. There was no way Rick would have known she was running scared of the same connection he was talking about. Whatever he felt, she felt it too.

"I was grieving." She wasn't just grieving for her aunt alone, back in February all the memories of that dark day in January came flooding back. At the time she just wanted to forget.

Everything about Rick made her remember.

"Were you?" He wanted to hit her where it hurt, give her a dose of her own medicine, because he didn't have anywhere to go with the emotions that was bottled up inside him.

"That's kinda harsh don't you think?"

"Sasha said you didn't come see Yvette when she was ailin'. All you did was send money."

"I couldn't come." Pain wasn't brand new to her, but she hated the feeling of being tried in the court of public opinion even more.

"Why not?"

"Because…" Even though it had been only six years at the time, everything was still fresh. Remembering Mike hurt more than anyone knew. She wiped a fresh set of unwelcomed tears from her cheeks. Rick was making her dig deeper than she wanted to, which was ultimately the reason why she avoided him for so long. No one had ever made her do that before. She looked outside, the large bay windows held the starry night like a perfect picture frame, but she was craving some light. Rick watched her tear streaked face and felt remorseful about pushing her over the edge. The last thing she needed was stress. The last thing he wanted to do was be another catalyst for Michonne's grief. Her struggle was apparent, whatever it was. All he wanted to do was ease her burdens a bit.

"I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about your aunt. Sasha said Yvette always spoke highly of you."

"You and Sasha seem real close."

Rick was taken aback by the hint of jealousy in Michonne's tone, he couldn't deny the bit of smugness that creeped up his chest.

"We are."

"You two dated?" Michonne shrugged, trying to make her question seem nonchalant. She recalled the intensity from Sasha the day before when she admonished Michonne not to hurt Rick. She hated that she was questioning where the caution was coming from.

Rick laughed, "Sasha is dating my best friend, I know you know this."

"You didn't answer my question."

"No. We never dated. We're just good friends." If she needed reassuring, he'd give it to her.

"Okay." She started pressing into the sore spot on her lower back with her thumb and forefinger. The narrow hospital bed was much more comfortable than Rick's couch, but she figured the positioning of the baby was the main source of her discomfort. She was genuinely surprised when Rick made his brawny frame fit at the side of her bed, taking over the massage like it was something he did every day. She got considerable ease as soon he started kneading the spot like a qualified masseuse.

"Just a little to the left," she directed. She sighed at his compliance.

She could get used to being waited on by Rick Grimes.

"We're straying from the topic."

She rolled her eyes, but leaned into him more, thinking her body was such a betrayer. "Where's the guy I watched the stars with? The one who said a wife and kids weren't in the cards for him?"

"I don't think I'm that guy anymore Michonne"

She looked at him, her gaze speculative, "What are you saying Rick?"

"I'm saying a marriage between us might work."

"Marriage for the sake of the baby? This isn't a shotgun wedding Rick. We're two adults here."

"It could work. You're already gonna be livin' at my house. We're great together. Our chemistry is like nothing I've ever felt before."

"So you're basing marriage on chemistry and a baby?"

"Some marriages start off on less." She didn't deny their chemistry. Baby steps.

"You're forgetting one basic component to a marriage Rick. We don't have it."

"What's that?"

"Love," she said, as though it was obvious.

"I'm surprised you know how to pronounce the word."

She gave a robust laugh to his tease, elbowing him in the ribs.

"Jerk!"

"I'm not sure what I'm doing here Michonne, I was thinking maybe we could help each other." He didn't want to fail like his father. He didn't want their baby to be another statistic. He'd be lying to say he wasn't fearful that one day she'd leave again, taking a piece of him with her this time.

"I'm glad you're here now Rick. I really don't want to do this alone anymore, but I need you to trust me. Can you do that?"

"I can't just yet. I...I need to be sure."

"How about I draw up a contract?"

"Marriage is a contract," he stated matter of factly.

"I'm aware Sheriff. But marriage is off the table for now. A contract would suit us better I think. A legally binding contract. We'll cover custody, care, finances, the whole gamut." The more she thought about a prenatal agreement, the more sense it made. They needed to establish clear rules to help manage expectations.

"I just want one thing in that contract."

"What's that?" she asked, glad that he was taking things seriously.

"I Michonne Duke will never run away from Rick Grimes again."

So she was wrong. "Can you take this seriously Rick?"

"Oh I am."

"When am I getting out of here?" She surrendered to the night.

"Tomorrow."

"Okay, I think I'm going to sleep now." It was a moot point continuing the sensible conversation.

Rick adjusted her pillows, smoothened her blanket and took her breath away when his head dipped and kissed her beach ball size belly, whispering a goodnight to their baby. Gone was the cold feeling she had inside, replaced by a warmth that she only felt when Rick was in her orbit.

"Goodnight," she said, expecting Rick to exit the room. Instead she witnessed his large frame make several attempts at getting comfortable in the lone wooden arm chair at the side of her bed. She was curious as to why he wasn't heading home.

"Rick?"

"Yeah?"

He let loose a few expletives when he hit his arm on the edge of the chair arm.

"You should go home. Get some rest." He would catch a cramp if he slept in the feeble visitor's chair all night.

Rick let loose a dry laugh, the last thing he was going to do was leave Michonne. She may not say it, but she needed him.

He had to admit a small part of him was skeptical of leaving her alone, afraid she'd sneak out on him again. A big part of his staying was, now that he had her again, he wasn't going to let her go.

"Nah. My place is right here with you."

* * *

"How is she?"

"Stubborn."

Rick let out a yawn, taking quiet steps out the room while Michonne rested. The sun was out, barely peeking over the horizon. He appreciated the wake up call from Daryl. He wanted to let him know he was taking the day off.

"She always been like this?"

"As far back as I remember." Nobody could tell Michonne what to do, she always had to see things for herself.

"You had no idea she was pregnant did you?" Rick couldn't see Daryl keeping pertinent information like that from him. He couldn't have known.

"Nah I didn't. Me and Sasha been arguin' since last night bout that. I don't get why she couldn't say sum'. She saying it wasn't her story to tell."

Rick appreciated Sasha's loyalty to her friend, it hadn't been information to broadcast.

It wasn't like she was announcing Michonne's Spring Collection, even if she was blossoming like the pretty magnolia flowers in his front yard.

"I wasn't expectin' her Daryl." Michonne was an algebra problem to be solved, and he flunked maths.

"I think considering the obvious, you've been doing pretty well for yourself."

"She throws me off my path. When she's around I'm not sure if I'm comin' or goin'"

She was a rumbling volcano, he was the awestruck bystander.

"You got her to move in with you. If you asked me before I would've told you, you had a better chance at winning the Olympics."

"I asked her to marry me." Yeah, it still sounded bizarre to him.

"The hell Rick!"

"I need to know she's not gonna take my kid and leave." He didn't know what he'd do if she left him again. "She's been known to do that."

"She had her reasons for leavin' the first time."

"Yeah, anybody gonna tell me that story?"

"I think you better hear it from her. If she said she's back to stay I'm gonna give her the benefit of the doubt." Daryl knew Rick had been affected by Michonne, he was only now understanding to what degree.

"Did she say yes?" Daryl already knew the answer.

"She said no. But I think it gives us and the baby some protection. I dunno why she can't see that."

"Why don't you use the time she'll be staying with you, to get to know her? Insteada' scarin' her off!"

Rick shoved his hand in his jeans pockets, beginning a slow and steady pace in the short, clean corridor. He nodded in greeting to the pleasant, red headed nurse that attended to them the night before. He assumed shifts were about to change given the early morning. Daryl sounded skeptical, even he knew Michonne's reputation preceded her. Rick chuckled to himself, thinking of him at the altar watching Michonne in a sexy, white off the shoulder dress, driving off in his Ford, leaving him behind.

She'd make a beautiful runaway bride.

"I plan to. But in the meantime we have a baby to think about."

"I don't think I've wrapped my head around the fact that you're gonna be somebody's pops," Daryl chuckled.

"Ain't that a hoot?"

"At least that big house of yours isn't gonna go to waste." Daryl wanted to be a fly in the wall at Rick's house, ready and waiting for the clashing of his two friends under one roof.

"I guess not."

"Have you thought about how much you're gonna tell Jessie?"

Rick inhaled and exhaled, he thought about the inevitable conversation he had to have with his friend.

"She deserves to know the truth." He didn't know how or when he was gonna manufacture the time, but he had to talk with her soon. It wasn't something he wanted to do over the phone.

"Yeah the sooner the better, she asked a few questions last night. I didn't know what to say. Told her you'd talk to her soon."

"I will," Rick agreed, he wasn't going to keep her in the dark for long, especially as Michonne was going to be living in his house for the next few weeks. Seeing what went down in his living room Friday night, doubled with his gossiping friends who were just as surprised as him, he knew he didn't have much time. Shane alone could be a ticking time bomb with his motor mouth.

"Have you been to her aunt's house? Do you know what needs to be done?" Rick planned to help out as much as he could with the house. He didn't want Michonne worrying about the repairs.

"Shane and I are heading there this weekend. Make an assessment, see what we can see."

"I'll come too, I wanna help."

"Thought you had your hands full." Between Rick's demanding position and a very pregnant, definitely demanding Michonne he didn't know where his buddy was gonna have the time to play Property Brothers.

"Something tells me she isn't gonna want to see my face all the time." His hands he could try to control around Michonne, it was his heart he was concerned for.

Rick was contemplating taking the task on himself, he was going to build for her, fix and repair for her. In the process he was hoping they could construct a foundation of friendship and trust. He dare not hope for love. He wasn't sure he was there, but he knew he never felt so strongly about anyone before.

"Alright, well we'll agree on a time I guess. Good luck today."

"Thanks. I'm gonna go grab some stale coffee. Then head out once Michonne wakes up. Got some things to do before she comes home." He caught his slip after he ended the call.

He really did need that coffee.

* * *

"Gluten free doughnuts in the cafeteria! Can you believe that? Gluten free!" Andrea bit into the glazed doughnut amidst her complaining. Michonne could see her sweet tooth had remained intact.

"I've been craving doughnuts for two weeks now, but they don't make doughnuts in the city like they do here." Michonne wasn't certain of Andrea's impromptu hospital visit, but she was relieved if it was a social call of her own volition.

"You feeling any better? You gave us a scare two nights ago." Andrea, along with the rest of the lot had been speechless seeing Michonne in the flesh. She was stupefied that Michonne wasn't just very pregnant, but pregnant with Rick's baby.

"I feel a little better. Thanks to everyone's quick action."

"No blood was involved. Thank God!" The conversation didn't feel awkward or strained, but Andrea had only been alone with Michonne for ten minutes. It was too early to assess. "Wait, was there?"

Michonne couldn't help but laugh, "No, no blood."

"The sight of blood makes me instantly sick," Andrea said aloud.

"Yeah I know, ever since you got your period when you were riding Hershel's horse that summer, the sight of blood gets you in a panic. I guess some things don't change." Michonne said, adding the last sentence on a whim.

"Some things do." Andrea didn't look at her when she said it. The bitterness was there in her subtext, taking up all the space between them.

"Some things don't need to." They were no longer talking about her hospital stay. Andrea was never one to vault her feelings. Michonne still felt she needed to play defense.

"Don't hold back Andy, say what you really wanna say," Michonne said, even if she wasn't ready to hear it.

"That's not why I'm here." Andrea saw the exhaustion on Michonne's face. It tugged at her, making her feel that Michonne needed a friend not a white light on her discrepancies. She did have hope that someday soon they could share what they were both feeling.

"Then why are you here?"

"Rick asked me and Sasha to pick you up from the hospital. Sasha's checking you out."

"Where's Rick?" She assumed he had gone out to return soon.

"He went to Home Depot, then he said he's gonna grab some last minute groceries before you get home."

 _Home_. Andrea was referring to Rick's home as hers, the slip of the tongue took root in her. She was a little disappointed that Rick wasn't going to be the one to take her out of the hospital. Considering she had taken up all of his time over the last day and a half she couldn't find fault with his absence. He had left to shower and change once and only at Daryl's insistence. Other than that he was a pillar of strength and aggravation, never leaving her side. "I appreciate this. I really do." She was grateful they had shown up for her, she really was. Andrea's scowl turned neutral, letting Michonne know they could put a hold on the truth serum that was about to spill like an active volcano.

"So I gotta ask..."

"Listening…"

"That night? at Merle's? after Yvette's funeral, you left with Rick and went back to his place and knocked boots all weekend?"

"Knocked boots? Really?" Michonne shrugged at the specific terminology. Andrea crossed her arms, giving her a look full of _try me_.

"Yes."

"And y'all never said a word."

"It was four days." Four days of bliss, four days of the best sex she'd ever experienced, four days of realizing that Rick was her high and she was becoming hooked. Four days of perfection and then she was gone. Returning to lonely Sunday night dinners and Netflix and chill by one. There was no one to tell her she was laughing too loud at complete nonsense on the television. No one to leave the warmth of the bed at midnight to make her a snack. No one to read the morning paper in silence with.

"This explains the Jessie thing so much. I don't know what you dished out in those four days but, it left a dent."

It was the second time she heard the sentiment. Michonne wanted to prod and pry about Jessie, she wasn't sure if it was the correct time. She wasn't sure it was her place.

"They aren't serious?" Michonne dug into her overnight bag, digging for some indifference, trying to appear uninterested in Andrea's response

"Nope. Not in my opinion. But she's around. Coming to think of it, you two are like night and day." Andrea unplugged Michonne's phone charger from the wall and handed it over..

"Yeah?"

"She's sweet. Definitely not the running type." Andrea likened Jessie to a gnome on the front lawn. She was a fixture, always there, but serving no real purpose. She wouldn't tell Michonne that though.

"That was low. I'm done running Andrea. I want to be here." Being pregnant helped her see she couldn't outrun the memories. That's why she came back, b _elonging_ here, was an entirely different exam question.

"We want you here Michonne. Despite what you think. We wanted you here seven years ago too."

Hurt came in spades for Andrea, she was staring at the person who knew her better than anyone, but Michonne felt like a foreigner to her.

"You don't understand how I felt..." Considering the catastrophe was her fault, leaving had been her only option. She could never fall back into a grove with her friends after all that had gone down. It felt more probable than possible, she didn't want to take the risk.

"Thing is Michonne we were affected too, but you left us anyway."

She knew Andrea felt the brunt of it. The night before she left she spoke to her best friend on the phone without mentioning her bags were already packed. All she got was a letter.

"I couldn't stay!" She was jealous about what was left in her wake, because while she was alone with her grief and pain, they still had each other.

"You could've! Mike was our friend too Michonne! When you left it was liking mourning two people at once."

She knew everybody thought she was being selfish when she left. Mike's death was just the feather that broke the camel's back. It was all her fault, if it wasn't for her Mike might've still been alive. She hated talking about it, hated thinking about it, but it was time to be back for the sake of her baby. She was doing it all for her baby, maybe the coward in her was doing it for herself too. She was cautioned about Mike's growing, risky habits by her friends; she didn't listen and ended up paying a hefty price for not heeding. She couldn't watch them in their eyes at the time. It was impossible for her to process guilt and resentment from the people she considered her family.

"I'm not doing this with you Andrea." She would discuss anything except Mike.

Feeling stronger than she was two days ago, Michonne hopped out of the bed and grabbed her overnight bag.

"You're really here to stay?" Andrea didn't believe her.

"Yes." She swiped her eyes fast. "I wanna go see miss Eme. Will you...will you go with me?"

"Okay." The thing with Andrea was her anger and heat mirrored how much she cared, Michonne was depending on the way they used to be to forge a way forward. She was grateful that Andrea wasn't being resistant.

"Maybe later on this week."

"You don't know Rick if you think he's gonna let you out of his sight right now."

"Rick isn't the boss of me."

"If you say so." Andre touched Michonne's hand.

"He's not!"

"Rick's a good guy. He's one of us."

If Rick was running for president, he certainly had everybody's vote. She could see why. All the more reason to keep her feelings and emotions in check. If anything ever happened to Rick there was no way she would survive being blamed for caring for him, or worse, loving him. Love made her blind, she needed to remember that.

She threw her hands up, a trickle of exasperation seeping in." Sasha already warned me not to hurt him."

"It's just that he doesn't know you like we do. Don't let him pay for everybody's mistakes."

It was an odd choice of words coming from Andrea, she got the message right away.

All she could've done was nod her head as she got her stuff together.

* * *

Rick closed the door to his stainless steel fridge, feeling confident he had stocked up on enough groceries to feed Michonne, to feed an army really. He didn't want to leave anything to chance. He ensured there wasn't anything Michonne needed that he couldn't provide - food wise at least. He had gotten a few of her favorite things to eat; kit kat bars, welch's grape jelly, kale and copious amounts of apple juice. He wasn't sure if pregnancy had changed her robust appetite much, but he was certain he had all basis covered. He learnt a lot about keeping Michonne happy, satiated and fed during their brief time together.

Sasha and Andrea allowed him time to run home and clean up a bit. He wasn't a slobbery bachelor, but there were tasks at home he neglected over the past few weeks. Now seemed like a good time to tackle them. The kitchen was his last undertaking.

He was about to call Sasha to ask their ETA when he heard a knock at the front door.

A warm burst of air greeted him when he pulled the door open, only to find Jessie on his doorstep instead of the girls.

"Hi Rick, can I come in?"

He couldn't avoid talking to Jessie any longer, he stepped aside as she entered the house.

From the quick glimpse he got of her face he deduced she appeared tired. Guilt weighed on him.

"How are you?" It was a weak open, but there was no handbook on letting down someone easy.

"I should be asking you that." She sat on the brown sofa, the same sofa they watched movies on a few times together. Rick opted for the single arm chair, preferring to face her when they spoke.

"I'm sorry I didn't get to you first. Ever since the party, life seems to be rushing by me."

It had only been a day and a half, he hardly got a moment to himself during that time. His hand found the back of his neck, he applied some pressure on the now tense spot. Notwithstanding they hadn't been spending a lot of time together in the recent weeks, he did appreciate Jessie's quiet friendship, but his life had changed.

Nothing felt different with Jessie; he still didn't know where she fit.

"I was under the impression you weren't dating anyone before I came along."

She rubbed her hands together. He didn't know if it was nerves or if she was gassing herself up to strangle him.

"I wasn't." He could tell she wasn't certain of the entire story, so he'd give her a condensed version in hope she would comprehend. "A few months ago, Michonne - that's the pregnant woman you saw here Friday ni-"

She waved him off, "I know who she is. I've seen pictures and heard Maggie talk about an old friend who used to live in the County. I didn't know she held any importance to you."

"We only met a few times before. She came in February for her aunt's funeral. We met at Merle's again and we connected over being old and new strangers." Rick clasped his hands in front of him, he tried to look her in her eyes. All he saw there was sadness.

"Is the...is the baby yours?" She cast her gaze on the ground, he could tell she was petrified of his answer.

"Yes."

"I thought you said you had no plans to be a father?" She always thought it was a strange decision on Rick's part, he embodied so many attributes that most fathers she knew lacked.

"I didn't have much choice here Jessie." He was still afraid he'd screw things up somehow, knowing he and Michonne created something so real and pure that night was making him warm up to the prospect of being a dad.

"Why her?"

"What?" It was the question that most men dreaded. He asked himself the same thing.

Michonne was everything he thought he _wasn't_ supposed to want. He didn't know how he got by without her. She felt like home, even when she was thousands of miles away.

"Let's not do this Jessie, it isn't fair to either of us."

Jessie nodded, the delay in response accompanied by the fire in Rick's eyes said more than any words his lips could ever form. She sat upright on the couch and looked up at the ceiling, blinking back tears. She knew the weren't ever a fiery, burning flame, now she knew why.

Rick's chest tightened. He didn't want to hurt Jessie, but he was doing exactly that.

"What exactly happened in February?"

"We just connected. She was gone before I could explore anything. We haven't spoken in months."

"You love her?"

"I...No...We…"

"It's just, it would explain why we never..."

"I told you why we shouldn't..." He didn't want to have a meaningless fling. He didn't want to promise Jessie things he didn't have to give. He didn't want to go any further than they'd traversed physically, he knew it would have been unfair to her.

"I always thought it was a cop out." She laughed, a cynical one. She thought what they _had_ could blossom into something promising, but Rick was never really hers to begin with.

"Then why did you stick around?" He hoped in some small way she could see he had given her an easy way out by not selling her dreams. He always kept it real from the jump.

"Because I cared about you Rick. And I really liked your friends. Before I used to watch from afar how everyone was such a big part of everybody's lives. You _are_ each other's lives," she emphasized with her hands. "I wanted that." She brushed her hair behind her ears, giving him a half sad, half sweet smile. "I had it, for a little while at least."

Rick knew the girls welcomed Jessie as a service to him. It wasn't a secret they thought they weren't the perfect fit.

Rick felt worse; Jessie wanted to belong and she didn't, Michonne belonged but wanted to run away. The disparity between the two women was astounding.

"Jessie, what we had…" he paused mid sentence, sensing she had something else to say.

"It wasn't enough for me either. You're never around much." She shrugged again, "But when you were...it was something."

He hoped maybe during the short time they had together he had filled some kind of need for her, if nothing else.

Rick thought it was progressive that she knew they weren't right for each other. He knew the admission stung, he felt it too.

"I'm sorry, I really am, but my focus right now is gonna be Michonne and our baby."

"I know Rick. As it should be." Jessie accepted the kind of man Rick was, she was expecting nothing less from him.

She knew coming to his house was a way of closing off their chapter even if she hoped they were just getting started. She couldn't expect Rick's heart to feel something he didn't.

Jessie rose to her feet, prepared to leave with her dignity intact even if her heart wasn't.

"Take care of yourself Jessie." He walked her to the door, hoping Sasha wasn't on her way yet.

"You too." She didn't quite meet his gaze.

He stood in the doorway, observing her get into her car. He watched her red buggy zoom passed the curb.

He grew sombre by Jessie's departure, assuming whatever he felt might linger for a while.

The sadness helped somehow, because he knew saying goodbye to Jessie helped him see how ready he was to say hello to Michonne.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey guys, this chapter was a little challenging. Finally got the nerve to publish. This chapter has mentions of drug abuse, so this is a trigger warning for those who may be sensitive to that kind of content. This update is also heavy on the dialogue as it was necessary for future chapters. I do hope you guys enjoy the update.**

 **Sophia**

* * *

The precinct was hectic. Michonne could see the hub of activity through the open blinds, tucked away in Rick's spacious office. She smoothed her hand over her blue, ruched, fitted maternity top, still beaming at the news they were going to have a boy. Rick had been elated, claiming he knew all along, it amused her to no end. He had only _known_ about the baby for ten days now. After her doctor's appointment; Rick insisted he attend, he brought her back to the police station, asking for a few minutes to get some things done before they go to a late lunch. Rick's devotion to her was consuming, she was caught between being raptured in his attention and wanting to run away from it. She could fall for him so easily, she didn't want love to sneak up on her. All the more reason why her stay at his house couldn't be permanent. She had to go back to Yvette's, regain her independence. Daryl said he and the guys started a few small repairs on the house. As soon as she was completely off bed rest she would pay a visit to the house to check on the progress. If nothing major was in the works she didn't see why she couldn't move back in the interim.

"The boss said he'll be with you in five," a red head officer said, peeking through a crack in the office door. Rick was the man in charge here. She understood why he always felt like he had to be the one making the hard decisions. It was easy to see why so many people respected Rick. He was the perfect image of law and order, intimidating at times, but sincere in his actions.

Michonne wanted to tell him he didn't have to take her to lunch, but telling Rick no was a challenge sometimes. She sat in his chair, it made her feel tiny, which said a lot these days. His old, oak desk was not the neatest she'd seen. Her compulsion to start straightening up the messy files and paper was strong, but this was out of her jurisdiction. Rick had given her carte blanche to his home though, she was yet to make any changes, thinking that she wasn't going to be there long enough to see anything to fruition.

Rick's house was perfect the way it was. A rich family home decorated with mulled windows and cream painted sidings on the walls. It was a place that begged for four kids running around with a dog behind them creating havoc. Where Friday night pizza was a tradition like backyard barbeques and pancakes on Sundays.

She didn't like being there at first, the nostalgia for a place called home tugged at her heart the minute she walked back into Rick's house. It grew in intensity when Rick offered up his bedroom to her. He took the second room down the hall. He wanted her to be comfortable. She wanted to forget how many times they had sex in his bed. She wanted to admit to him she couldn't possibly sleep in his bed, the memories excited her and killed her all at once. It was difficult to admit, even harder to feel. They were bonding over the baby, she couldn't deny that. It'd be best for her to remember whatever they had going on or _not_ going on between them was temporary. Watching movies late into the night, cooking together and hanging out on his back porch as they watched the sunset was only for a short while.

Her focus right now was being prepared for her son's arrival, not playing house with Rick. Rick's focus should be on Jessie. She hadn't heard her name mentioned in all the time she'd been at his house. She could imagine how confused the blonde must be. If Jessie had to continue being a part of his life, Rick needed to help her adjust to what normal was for all of them. He spent all his time with her or at work so she knew Jessie just wasn't around. What she didn't know was why.

"Sorry for keeping you. You ready to go?" Rick entered the office, smirking at the sight of Michonne sitting behind his desk. "You runnin' this town now?" he teased. He could tell he interrupted her thoughts; her eyebrows were drawn, her lips were pursed.

"I was thinking, maybe we don't have to go to lunch today."

"Well, we gotta eat."

"Yeah. I know, but I could always make something at home."

Whenever Michonne referred to his house as _home_ Rick felt something warm in his belly, it was as if his body knew she belonged there.

"I already told the guys I'll be back soon. C'mon I know you're hungry."

"Maybe you should take Jessie to lunch instead. I'm sure she'd love to see you."

She gave the suggestion with no malice or sarcasm. It troubled Rick; her offering was sincere. She thought he was still dating Jessie, he told her nothing to make her think otherwise.

He wanted to open up to her, if he did he had hope she would too.

"I'm not seeing Jessie anymore Michonne."

"You broke up?"

"Breaking up would imply we were in a relationship. We weren't." He leaned on his desk facing her, his arms folded.

God, he had sexy arms; that one long vein on his forearm was begging to be traced by her finger.

"Was it because of me?" She was fearing the worst. She wanted minimal interruption in Rick's life.

"You may have been the catalyst, but you weren't the reason. Jessie and I were going nowhere fast. She wanted more than I wanted to give."

"I'm sorry Rick. I hope you made the right decision."

"I did." He was never sure about something before. Jessie wasn't the woman for him, Michonne was.

"How do you know?" Rick seemed so sure in the honest way he lived his life, she hoped maybe some of that would rub off on her.

"I already told you. Why can't you believe me when I say my focus is entirely on you now."

She knew he meant the baby, not her per se. She was the conduit for what he really cared about.

"I appreciate you being here for our baby Rick." She touched his arms, unable to resist. They had been doing a lot of touching as of late. It started as a casual touch here and there, the notion of his baby growing every day in her belly fascinated Rick. His growing enchantment resulted in a desire to touch and to feel everything that was happening to her.

She allowed him, she knew the same spell he was under, she was too. They were both in love with someone they had created, but was yet to meet. Anticipation grew between them. Now, she was touching him not so much because she wanted to; there was an ardent desire to be close, to feel his pulse beating beneath her touch. She couldn't fight it anymore. Her cheek still burned from when he kissed her at the doctor's appointment, her ears still echoed his _thank you_ as though she had given him the greatest gift in the world.

He was overjoyed at the prospect of a baby boy on the way, confirmed with a 3D ultrasound. She couldn't understand his fear of not being a good father, not when it was innate in him to care for people. Having been the recipient of that care, she wasn't sure how she would feel leaving it behind when that time came.

"Let's get that lunch okay. There's a new place I want you to try." Rick appeared completely unaffected by their brief discussion about Jessie.

It gave her pause as he helped her out of the huge swivel chair. Now that Jessie was out of Rick's life, where did that leave her?

* * *

She refused to cry. Even if she was being conquered by a tiny glass bottle filled with the appropriately named _red outrage_ nail polish. Her upset was misplaced, if she had anyone to blame it really should be the growing baby in her belly. _Rick's baby._

Defeated, Michonne leaned back into Rick's plush sofa, her feet still on the shiny coffee table. All she wanted was to give her bare toes a pop of color, her big belly wasn't going to allow her the maintenance she'd grown accustomed to. She missed her girl Mindy, half hour in her salon and she would've been good to go for at least another two weeks.

The baby kicked, letting Michonne know who was boss now. She couldn't help but laugh.

"Having fun in there little one?"

Another soccer goal kick straight to her ribs. She laughed, it was more a half laugh, ebbing into a half cry. Her hormones were out of whack over not being able to do one simple thing.

Rick found Michonne in the same position on the couch when he got home from work that Thursday afternoon.

"Michonne?" It had only been a few days of coming home to her, the feeling of Michonne being in his home somehow made his work days not so gloomy. He couldn't wait to get home to her.

"Hi." She swiped swiftly at the teardrops on her cheeks, sitting upright as best as she could on the couch.

"You alright?" Rick sat on the single chair after placing his hat and a brown paper bag on the dining table. Michonne gathered up the cotton balls, nail remover and nail polish, placing them in the tiny basket Sasha brought them in.

"I'm fine. How was your day?" She didn't want Rick to see her almost melt down over not being able to see, farless reach her feet. She had to suck it up.

Rick didn't like seeing this woman sad, whatever was wrong he had to try to fix it.

He stopped her in her haste to remove the items from the table. Heat emanated from where their hands made contact. "You're obviously not fine. Talk to me. Is it the baby?"

"No the baby is fine... it's..stupid..."

"Try me." If he could get her to open up to him about the small things, she might talk to him about the big things too.

He sat back down, leaning forward on his knees, letting her know she had his undivided attention.

Rick wasn't letting up, Michonne decided to share, hoping at least he'd get a laugh out of her dilemma. She adjusted her locs on her shoulder before she began.

"I was trying to polish my toes, but even with my feet propped up on the table I can't reach them." She didn't look him in the eye, she felt like a pregnant elephant most days, these days. With the trickle of energy she had gotten back since she left the hospital she was making bold attempts to feel like herself again.

"Maybe I can help." It wasn't a question or a suggestion. Rick began taking off his King County Sheriff shirt, remaining in his white, round neck tee. He must've been going to the gym in their time apart, he was much more solid now, more defined in his chest and arms. She wondered what the definition would feel like under her palm.

"Help how exactly?" she asked, pulling herself out of her day dream.

Rick joined her on the couch, his arm stretched out on the back of the seat. Michonne couldn't help but remember how a few months ago she was all too eager to sit on top of him on the couch, naked.

"I'll polish 'em for you. C'mon." He pat his leg, staring at Michonne for a few beats.

His committed gaze made her compliant, even though the last thing she wanted to do was get cosier with Rick.

"Ok. Fine." At least she was decent, she was able to put on her denim cut offs and one of Rick's old tees from his drawer. It was the only thing her still growing belly was able to fit into these days. He didn't seem to mind the borrow. She lifted her bare legs into his lap, almost missing a breath when his firm palm latched onto the arch of her feet.

Rick didn't want to look surprised that Michonne was trusting him with such a task. Their progress was slow, but it was something he had a lot of hope in.

She handed him the bottle of nail lacquer and folded her arms, waiting in silent anticipation.

They were staring at each other, each waiting on the other's next move.

"Well?" Rick said. "Instructions?" He was feeling ill prepared for his latest undertaking.

"The way you swept in like a knight in shining armor I assumed you knew what you were doing." She was teasing him, she was enjoying it more than she should.

Rick gave a robust laugh, "When it comes to you I never know what I'm doin'" He was being subtle in letting her know how much she affected him.

"You've never done this before?"

He shook his head.

Michonne blushed, feeling more elevated than she expected knowing he never got this intimate with any woman before.

"The red suits you. It's fiery and passionate…" With his eyes stationed on hers, Rick licked his lips. "Intense..."

He took the first brush stroke as slow as possible. He wanted to be as perfect as he could be at something that held importance to Michonne. His free hand held her feet in place.

Rick noticed from his peripheral she was stifling a laugh.

"You're not ticklish are you?" he asked, trailing his fingers lightly under her soft feet. She wiggled her toes in response, trying to contain her giggles.

"No." she lied, savoring being this close to Rick. The last time they were this close they had hungry lips and beating hearts. Rick grew a new appreciation for Michonne's sexiness. Her feet were dainty, delicate and she was ticklish. Something he was going to store for future use. The more he was audience to her softer side the more enamored with her he grew. He knew she was feeling stronger. Everyday he got home and she was still there he took as a win.

They fell into comfortable conversation. Michonne grew relaxed under Rick's devotion, chatting away at everything and nothing at all.

A few well maneuvered brush strokes and two smudges later he was done.

"All set," he said, observing his handiwork.

"Not bad Grimes." She was pleased, impressed by his neatness.

"It's never too early to learn a new skill." Rick deduced it wasn't the last time he was going to do something so unique for Michonne.

"I had a friend...he used to think the opposite." The memory of Mike flooded her unexpectedly. Sometimes it went like that, she'd be thinking of something ordinary and a flash of Mike would hit her like a lightning bolt.

Mike didn't want to learn anything new when his dreams were crushed on the field. He wallowed in his disappointment instead. The mood shifted dramatically for her.

Michonne lifted her legs from Rick's lap, ready to dart to her room where she could marinate in her pain by herself.

Rick saw the flight in Michonne at the mention of the word _friend_. He had an inkling this was the one, this was the story that he wasn't privileged to know yet. This was the _thing_ that was somehow holding her back from herself, from him. He knew it might take a miracle and a mile for her to talk, but he at least had to try.

He gently held her legs, making an unprecedented demand that she stay.

"You can talk to me you know, you don't have to run…" he let his sentence drop off.

Michonne paused in her vain efforts to be free of Rick's grasp. It was difficult to not let copious amounts fear and guilt take her at her core once Mike showed up in her subconscious.

"Excuse me?"

"I felt you tense up. I know whatever you said struck a chord."

Michonne set her eyes on the ground needing to look anywhere but at Rick. His rustic hardwood floor was beginning to show some wear and tear. It gave off the lived in feel that she hadn't quite found for herself in her apartment in the city.

"Michonne?" He attempted to steal her attention from the detailed study of his flooring.

"Yes Rick."

"I don't want to be here just for the baby. I want to be here for you too. So we're gonna sit here together. You're gonna talk and I'm gonna listen."

She was stunned into silence by his directive. She lifted a brow, studying him with a pensive glare.

"You have a problem with that approach?" he questioned.

She didn't have to question his intentions. Plain and simple, he wanted to be there for her. She had forgotten what that felt like. "No Rick I don't have a problem."

Still, she was hesitant. She wasn't sure if sharing her history with Rick was her best move. What she did know was remaining detached was a debilitating defense mechanism. At least now he might have a better understanding of why she opted to remain so aloof.

"Tell me what happened from before, was this friend the reason why you left?" He didn't mean to be so bold, maybe it was the calm sense of ease that had grown thick between them over the past couple of days. He was feeling like if she was beginning to trust him.

Michonne was aware Rick was asking about her first getaway; when even though leaving made her feel like a fugitive, she still did it.

"I wouldn't know where to start."

He laid a comforting hand on hers, "Start where you're comfortable." He figured he'd have to take on the role of an air traffic controller; he had to help guide Flight Michonne safely on the ground.

"I didn't know my mom was so sick. I missed all the signs. When she died a switch turned off inside me. It was just the two of us for such a long time…" She let loose a deep sigh. "Then all of a sudden I was living with Yvette and my cousins. There wasn't much time to grieve in private, because there was none."

She remembered wanting to talk about it and not having anyone to talk to. She tried with Andrea and Sasha, everyone kept telling her what they thought she wanted to hear, not what she needed to heal. All the while she was battling with feeling responsible for her mother's death; there was no one to tell her otherwise. Joy was something that was easily shared with others, but she traversed the terrains of grief alone.

"How did your mom die?"

"She was sick. Never told me. I missed all the signs. One day she was so full of life and then…I only saw how bad it was until it was too late." Her mom was gone. She always believed if she had known sooner she could've done something.

Michonne thought Leslie Duke was invincible, which made it hard to see her weaknesses, to see how sick she really was.

"I'm sorry Michonne." Rick touched her arm, seeing how difficult it was to talk about her mother.

"Thank you. I found myself floating away. From my family, my friends. The grief never went away." She remembered Yvette told her that life had to go on, that it made no sense dwelling in her grief.

She didn't fully comprehend at the time Yvette was dealing with her own pain and the added burden of another member in her household. "Yvette sacrificed a lot for me. I didn't see it back then. I couldn't." Not when anger and rage blinded her. Not when she was already living a life of solitude.

"I'm sorry I never got to meet your mom."

She knew her mother would've liked Rick's take charge demeanor.

"After high school we split up. Andrea and I went to Spelman. Maggie and Sasha went to Georgia Tech. Shane got an associate and joined the academy and Daryl went into mechanics. Everybody was doing their own thing. We didn't have much time for each other like we used to." She was talking so much she hadn't realize Rick was massaging her feet. Her lax state and loose lips were all his doing.

"Just when I thought I couldn't feel again I met Mike. He was Shane and Daryl's friend before he was mine. We met at Shane's birthday party, started talking and never really stopped." She smiled at the memory of feeling carefree and in love, ready to take on the world together. "Shane said Mike came from a troubled background, but he seemed well adjusted to me." She knew that's how people saw her too, well adjusted. It was easy to assume she was; people saw results, not so much the process.

"He played college football. He was the star of the show for a long time. He was already being scouted. There were talks about him going pro. But on his last game he blew his knee out." Once the dust settled she always thought that was the beginning of the end for Mike.

"You were there when he got injured?"

"I came in after. He always said I was the light after his dark tunnel. I was too happy and in love to see how addicted he was becoming to his painkillers. Daryl and Shane were the first to notice. I just assumed he was stressed. Everything was coming to a head. Mike was always level headed around me." She got cocky, thinking she knew Mike better than his own friends. Certainly if he was struggling, love wasn't going to blind her to his pain. She couldn't have been more wrong.

"By this time Mike was close to everybody, even Yvette loved him. Andrea was the one to find his stash. We had a big argument about it." She shook her head, remembering how Andrea accused her of being in denial.

"I confronted him about it. He denied it, said our friends were being delusional." She swiped a hand over her face, beginning to feel shaky inside. "I didn't even realize he was double doctoring. Mike's tolerance to the euphoria the opioids dished out was developing faster than his tolerance to the dangerous side effects. Which meant he needed more and more to get the same effect."

"So I take it he had a lot of back ups." Rick intervened, he hadn't realized the tragedy that lay beneath Michonne's brown pools.

She shook her head, willing her eyes to not full with tears.

"Mike had back ups for his back ups. I didn't find all this out until late. Everybody who cared about him tried to talk to him. Shane and Daryl said I might be the only one he would listen too."

"It's not fair that they put all that responsibility on you Michonne." He held her hand, sensing her unease with continuing.

"It all happened in such a short space of time Rick. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. One night he was supposed to meet me for ice cream." She gave a lazy shrug. "That was our thing, we would go to every new ice cream place in Georgia and try every flavor. But he never made it. He wasn't answering my calls or messages. So I decided to go over to his place." Her eyes filled at the visual of that awful day in January. "I found him on his bed." The tears came at the memory. She tightened her hold on Rick's hand. His silent support spurring her on. "There were two sets of opioids on his bed. He died with his eyes open. Cardiac arrest they said." She remembered closing his dry lids down herself before calling the paramedics.

"I'm so sorry Michonne."

"I should've known. He said he was an open book to me. That he had nothing to hide." She shrugged, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. "People with nothing to hide don't usually feel the need to say so.

"He hid it from you. You can't blame yourself for that." He felt her pain like a crescendo of emotions and a firm comprehension of her loner life. Everything was now beginning to make sense.

"I was blind to it. Things went really bad for Mike and he wasn't built to handle it. Maybe if I had realized sooner…I…"

"Don't do that."

"Rick…" She needed to take ownership of her part in Mike's death. She loved him too much. It took away her objectivity. The tears were flowing, she tried to hold it in but it was as powerful as a bullet leaving a gun. It had been so long but her wound felt fresh.

"Come here." Rick opened his arm to her, she accepted his open invitation hoping to find some solace in his embrace.

"You can't blame yourself for Mike's death Michonne. It wasn't your fault." His hands tightened around her. She closed her eyes, praying his absolution was enough to quell the guilt that was buried deep inside her.

"I couldn't stay here. Nothing felt the same after. I ran the risk of failing my friends too and I didn't want to have to live with the guilt."

"So you left to be by yourself?"

"It's a better life than you think. At least it used to be." She ran away from her mountain when she should've been trying to climb it. She kept moving to move away from it. "It doesn't sustain you for long...they were depending on me to help Mike. I failed them and I failed him too. Then a little while after I left Yvette got sick. It was like a double whammy."

"So you're just piling all these deaths on your back and cutting yourself off from the world so you don't hurt anybody else?"

"Wouldn't you?" She knew they were more alike than he thought.

"People get sick Michonne. It's sad and unfortunate but it happens. You can't control that any more than you can control the weather."

"Then why do I feel so bad inside." She wished he knew the answer.

Rick continued to caress her back in even up and down strokes. Her cry had depreciated into soft sobs.

"You're still grieving. And I think you mistook that pain for guilt. Mike had a problem that got the best of him. His addiction wasn't your fault." It was easier to take the blame when some things couldn't be explained away or understood easily, like death.

"If I had just gotten to him earlier..." Her words dropped off again, too stifled by emotion to speak. The shoulda woulda couldas was the thing that tormented her the most.

"Even if you had gotten to him that day, there's no guarantee he wouldn't have overdosed another time. You loved him. I know you did, but you can't take the blame for something he did."

She sat up to face Rick. She dried her wet cheeks. "Do you really believe that?"

Now that she'd pull away for leverage, Rick didn't like how empty his arms felt without Michonne in them.

"It doesn't make me a bad person? All this guilt that's on my back after all this time?"

He held her face in his hands, caressing her cheeks with the pad of his thumb, "Michonne, bad people don't carry weight, they're light as a father after all the wrong they've done. That's not you. Mike wouldn't want you living like this."

"They blame me. I know they do."

"I don't understand why you think that. They don't. They've missed you as much as you've missed them." He knew the _they_ they were referring to. "You're here even when you're not here. They've kept you present. They're glad you back." Everything was bubbling to the surface for Michonne, it was long overdue. "So am I."

"I had a decent life in the city. But it wasn't the kind of life I wanted for my baby. I needed to be back here. I'm so sorry I kept him from you for so long Rick. I was wrong for that."

"I'm glad you're both here now. We're all here for you. You have to see that."

Michonne nodded, albeit reluctantly.

"You think you're sparing everyone pain by cutting yourself off, but you're not. You're hurting those you care about more. You're hurting yourself too."

He wanted to be the one to grant her restitution, but she had to do it for herself.

"That's why I wanna be done with running."

He wanted to believe she wouldn't run away again, but there was no precise telling with how flighty her emotions could be. He had to do his best to show her she landed in a safe place. Maybe that was his role in the story.

He touched her belly, her hand joining his there. "You made the right choice. This is a good place to start."

Rick sold a good case. She wanted to believe every word that left his lips. She was on the fence as much as she was in defense. Now he had insight to her plight. Still, she didn't find any judgement in his eyes. Only empathy, enough care to absolve her at least for tonight.

She couldn't love Rick. If she failed him she'd never forgive herself.

She learned to live without Mike. She wasn't sure she could ever survive losing Rick.

"What's in the bag?" She pointed to the brown bags on the round dining table. She had talked enough, expressed enough. She didn't have anything left to say.

"Dinner." He knew she pivoted the conversation, she had reached her limit of nakedness with him.

"I thought you said we were making spaghetti!" She was looking forward to them laughing over non alcoholic wine and the sweet aroma of tomato sauce.

"I changed my mind. It's a good thing too. You look tired." They were side by side on the couch now, still touching but no longer in an intimate position. "I got us Korean."

"From Rhee's?" Her face lit up when Rick nodded with a smile. "Orange chicken?"

"Yup. Told him it was for you, he added some extra."

Michonne was beaming now where she was gloomy before. He was content to know he was responsible for even a sliver of her happiness.

"Well what are we waiting for?" She grabbed his hand, tugging him to the next room. "Let's eat."

* * *

Rick couldn't believe what he was seeing. If he had gotten some kind of premonition back in February to wake up in time to see Michonne's Exodus from his life, he assumed it would've looked exactly like the scene unfolding in front of him.

This time the fugitive was seven months pregnant and stealing his truck. "Goin' somewhere?"

"Rick?" Michonne was startled by Rick's presence at the base of the stairs. "You're awake?"

Rick folded his arms, wishing he wasn't on the receiving end of this ill timed sense of deja vu. He pushed her too far on the Mike front. She was leaving him. Again.

"Where are you goin'? It's 3 am in the morning?" He grew concerned at her pause in response.

Michonne realized now how the scene was set. Her role as the escapee had been misconstrued.

"This isn't what it looks like." She would've laughed, but his face was set serious. Rick was standing there in his black boxers looking extremely provocative, yet unimpressed with her.

"Looks like you're leavin' to me." He scratched his eyebrow, avoiding her gaze.

"You wouldn't understand." She didn't even understand fully what was happening.

"Humor me."

"It's silly." She woke up with a need, a desperate desire. Nothing, no one was stopping her. Not even an obviously pissed off Rick Grimes. "I had a craving...for a... chalupa."

Her truth had been unexpected, Rick stifled his laugh. She wasn't leaving him after all. He didn't want her to think he was making fun of her. He'd read about this online. Cravings at three o'clock in the morning; it wasn't a myth.

"That's why you were stealin' my truck?" He indicated to his car keys dangling from her fingers.

"I wasn't stealing it. I was borrowing it."

He stalked towards her, "Gimme the car keys Michonne." She could have woken him if she needed a fix so badly.

She handed them over, a scowl on her face.

"Let me throw on my jeans and a shirt. I'll take you."

"You will?" she said surprised.

"Of course. I don't want you out there all alone."

"Thank you." She gave a shy smile.

"Michonne," he dragged her name out, for emphasis, for the smooth way it sounded off his lips. "If you need somethin' I want you to always come to me. Alright?"

"Alright," she conceded. Pleased, he nodded and darted up the stairs.

* * *

" _You're gonna fly away, glad your going my way. I love it when we're cruisin' together."_

Michonne laughed jovially when Rick joined in on her car karaoke segment. Sometimes he did things that surprised and delighted her, like dueting to one of her favorite songs.

"You seem to be in a good mood," Rick said, maneuvering down the lonely road enroute to his house.

"Ugh!" she sighed in a cheery tone, rubbing her belly. "I am."

"So a chalupa box is what did it for you huh? I should've known this a week ago. I would've built you a Taco Bell myself." He wasn't lying, he would have done it if he knew she would've been this charmed off some flatbread sorcery and a lemonade. The chalupas had been long devoured, the wrappers discarded on his dashboard. He'd given into the contagious hunger too, purchasing a combo for himself. Rick had to admit sharing a meal in his car with Michonne made the food even tastier.

He made a left on Birch, glad that they were almost home. Tiredness was seeping into his bones. The coldness outside wasn't helping, he wasn't sure how Michonne felt hot on a chilly night like this.

"It's my latest addiction."

"You devoured that chalupa like a T-Rex devouring a human." The devotion she displayed reminded him of when she paid him that kind of particular attention, not even a tornado could've taken her away from his dick.

"I know it's not sexy." She wasn't even ashamed about eating like it was the last supper.

"You're still sexy to me. Sexier even."

"Sexier?" She was caught off guard by Rick's casual reveal. Did he forget that a few days ago he intervened on a low level crisis, because she couldn't see her feet?

"You're carrying my baby. It's more arousing than I expected it to be. You're beautiful Michonne." He pulled into his driveway, leaving the truck to idle.

He leaned over her, her heart beat accelerated. She could smell the soap from his shower a few hours ago. She couldn't even pretend she didn't inhale a bit of him. She was certain Rick was going to kiss her.

She was disappointed when all he did was unbuckle her seatbelt; he knew how much she hated the constraint. Rick touched her belly in that branding way he had, dipping his head to have a conversation - a new habit of his - he talked to her belly, "I hope you can get some sleep in there, your mama almost ate out Taco Bell"

"He'll sleep just fine thank you." Rick had his hand on her head rest now, there was no way to escape him. Between his hands on her belly and the early morning desire in his eyes her control was slipping. The heat between Michonne's legs was turning into moisture. The air in the truck began to feel stuffy. Michonne couldn't speak. All she was able to do was gaze at Rick as her fingers itched to touch a part of his body too. She hadn't felt sexy in weeks. The so called pregnancy glow everyone said she had was turning into sweat, she had little to no control over it. To hear Rick say he still found her sexy made her want to deserve the title.

"I...I don't feel so sexy these days."

Rick's fingers moved from her belly to her face. His thumb was caressing her cheek in slow circles. She grew lax, not realizing how much she missed his touch. Imagination did not compare to the real feel of Rick. He caressed the outline of her lips, wanting to give her his undivided attention. He shifted in his seat, needing to give his growing erection some room.

His fingers dipped to where the opening of her shirt dress began, lightly grazing over her cleavage.

"Your breasts are so round and full." His voice was low and husky now. The intimate conversation was setting her up, she was ripe for him.

Rick heard her breath hitch, she wasn't refusing his administrations. He wondered if she was as turned on as him. Her legs fell apart, the movement was slight, but he caught it. Her hands went to her chest, just as his hands went to her belly.

"And this, this is the cutest baby bump ever. I wanna take care of your every need Michonne. Even if it's chalupas at 3:30 in the morning at a Taco Bell that's thirty minutes away."

"Rick…" her chest heaved.

He was leaning into her. "I want people to know that baby you're carryin' belongs to me."

She wanted to belong to him too, the thought scared her, but catapulted her to kiss him just as he was leaning in to kiss her.

The kiss was nowhere near slow. It was fast, hasty, their lips met in a hot rush of need and desire. His hands flew to her breast, he pushed aside the cup of her bra; her globes filled his hands. He pebbled her rock hard nipples, Michonne moaned. Her tongue invaded his mouth first, her hands were lost in the mass of his curls. The kiss was passionate, demanding more as their bodies gravitated towards each other in the confined space.

Rick's hand caressed her thigh, his memory flooded instantly on contact. He loved the smoothness of Michonne's legs, how she never hesitated to wrap them around him when he was buried deep in her heat. His fingers moved upwards, touching her folds through her panties. He needed the barrier gone, he needed to touch her more than he needed oxygen.

"Michonne..." He wasn't so much asking as he was telling her.

She already missed the firm feel of his lips on hers with the loss of contact. Michonne had forgotten how warm they felt pressed up against hers.

"Yes. Please!" Her response came out on in a tumble. She wanted him too. The notion catapulted him to slip her panties off. He tried to be as gentle as he could.

The minute his fingers pressed into her they both sucked in a breath. He plunged in, she almost lifted off the seat trying to meet him.

Rick was emboldened as Michonne unbuttoned her shirt, exposing her supple form to him. There was no deliberation, his mouth descended on the alluring form of her rounded breast. He sprinkled kisses on them, while his two fingers pumped friskily inside her. His thumb massaged her bud, loving that she was already in a frenzy for him.

Michonne struggled against wanting to close her eyes, trying to capture every sensation Rick was strumming from her core to memory. He knew how to excite her, without much mapping from her part. She wanted to touch him too, but he was almost halfway leaning out of his seat. Her eager hands found his belt buckle. She struggled with it, determination helped her to reach her goal. She unzipped his pants finally, taking the same liberty he did with her, she freed his dick from the confines of his boxers and held him in her hands.

"Shit," Rick muttered on contact, returning his attention to her mouth.

She was tingling with anticipation in her belly. Her core had been released from a cage.

Michonne's hand moved up and down Rick's rigid shaft. He was hard as steel all because of her. Her lips turned into a smirk, her confidence boosted. They could easily go into the house but their desire had no respect for time or location.

"Oh my God Rick." She felt her orgasm building like a tidal wave. Her hands moved even faster on him, his glistening head creating the right kind of sensation.

Their lips mated again, this time the kiss was raw and sloppy as thought their lives depended on it. Rick was thrusting his two fingers inside her more intensely now, her legs trembling, her body almost rising from the front seat again. He had missed this. He missed her.

"I'm right there," she said in a whisper, in between Rick's claiming kisses.

"I think you should stop touchin' me baby." Rick's voice was strained from his own arousal. The feel of Michonne tightening around his fingers combined with her heady scent was drowning him in euphoria. He felt his own climax build to a crescendo as she released on his fingers with a soft purr. There was nothing he could do to stop his own release, he spilled on her hand as she continued to rub him into oblivion.

"Damn," he said in competition with her to catch his breath. "I don't think this has happened to me since high school." He was feeling all of the thrill and none of the shame.

Michonne was still reeling from being called _baby_ by Rick again. She closed her eyes, still high on the tide of her climax, her body grew lax. She thought she was destined to be alone after Mike. Now she had a healthy, growing baby in her belly; she had Rick to thank for that.

She and Rick had slipped right back into their dance together, despite the catalyst for her return, maybe even because of it. The lust was still strong between them, she dare not ask for more.

"Nothing's changed and at the same time everything's changed for me since we met." Rick was staring ahead, looking at his front door. He didn't mean to have a heart to heart at that moment, but he was speaking the truth.

The cabin of the car was quiet, their now even breaths the only sound. "We're still good together," he added.

He turned to Michonne, after waiting a few seconds too long for any kind of response. For any kind of indication as to where her head was at after what they'd shared.

Michonne wasn't going to respond, at least not tonight. He was going to have to lift her from the truck and get her to bed.

His beautiful, pregnant Michonne was sound asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

"Marry me." It was developing into a thing now; asking but already anticipating Michonne's montone no's to Rick's recurring proposals. Rick kept at it. Since their taco truck tryst he was even more adamant that he and Michonne could defy the odds against them and be a real family. He already knew he was in love with her. She was stubborn, defiant and liked her own way but that's what was painted on the surface. That's what everybody else saw, not him. What he was now privileged to witness below her tough armor was an unrivaled tenderness when she discussed the baby growing under her heart. In the rare quiet moments she told him things about her life that no one else was privy to. She wanted to pretend she was a loner, but Rick knew better; she craved the love of a family, craved giving back that love in the holistic way she believed she couldn't. What stumped him was how far she went to hide how she truly felt about him. She was running away to protect him, even though they were together on everything, almost everything. He wanted to show her they could find a way together.

"No," Michonne sighed, gathering her locks to one side of her neck. "Did you bring the right pillow this time?" Their hands were laced together walking down the narrow hall of Coach Carol's Birthing Center. Their hot make out session days before was still heavy on her mind and her body. Undeniable feelings were staking a claim on her. She craved Rick's touch, pregnancy hormones had her dreaming of rubbing up on him like a cat. Whatever she thought was dormant between them, had gotten a resurgence. To her chagrin Rick started calling her _baby_ again at the oddest most inopportune times, but her response was always the same; turned on, longing for everything to be real. He was evil like that, he knew the endearment gave her a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Rick was plugging into her heart, creating the thing she had been dreading the most; a connection. He was doing it on purpose too.

Michonne wanted to go back to remaining untethered, Rick was using their bold entanglement once again to plunge them forward into something more stable, more promising than just roommates. She was looking for the escape door, the one where people exited in the event of a fire or earthquake.

She needed to conduct a few Rick drills before she discovered she was in too deep.

It might already be too late.

"You've asked this three times Michonne." Rick shook his head. "Yes. I have two of the thousand bed pillows we bought on Monday. Plus the extra padded birthin' pillow you demanded." He was smirking although he never thought twice about giving into her demands. The birthing classes had been recommended by his mother who referred them to Carol King; one of the top birthing instructors on the outskirts of the County. Rick was on board right off the bat, as he was with anything that concerned Michonne. He wanted to be Michonne's partner during labor and not just a bystander. He planned to be right on the frontline with her providing his unwavering support from contractions to cursing him out as she brought their child into the world.

"It was necessary, there's no guarantee I'll be able to get up once I'm down on the floor. Don't you remember last week?" Her hand flitted over the circumference of her belly as they walked. Rick held the door open for her shaking his head as she went in ahead of him. She was all belly and too adorable for words.

Six of their acquaintances in their varying stages of pregnancy were already sitting on their yoga mats next to their partners, much to Michonne's surprise. She thought they were early.

"Evenin'," Rick said, finding _their_ cozy spot in the far left corner of the room, spreading Michonne's bright pink yoga mat on the shiny hardwood floor.

"Well if it isn't Lucy and Ricky."

They earned the moniker from day one of the birthing class. After their old married couple bickering over the necessity of Michonne's main accessory on the first day of class; a pillow in the shape of a doughnut, complete with pink sprinkles on the fabric. She made her case after Rick advised against it, insighting it was going to serve no purpose. Michonne announced if she couldn't eat it she might as well sit on it.

Rick turned out to be right. She only admitted it because they had made a spectacle of themselves.

The class deduced quickly that Michonne had a good dose of pregnancy brain and Rick had a special knack for defusing most Michonne situations. Their antics were hilarious and a hit.

Heather, a brown eyed brunette brought along her sister as her support this week. She had been curious about the couple from day one. Michonne waved at her before she started her trek to the floor. Michonne felt thankful Rick remained at her side. She didn't think she'd be comfortable buddying up with a stranger. Placing her bottled water on the floor beside the mat, Rick ensured the body pillow was strategically placed to Michonne's singular brand of comfort. He offered up her first snack of the evening; a pack of dried fruit, Rick reached for Michonne's hands to guide her to the floor. The other hormone driven women in the class were blown away by the sheer simplicity of Rick's catering, how natural it looked when it was directed at Michonne. Michonne knew some of them were envious of what they saw, she couldn't say she blamed them. Rick was attentive, supportive and affectionate. That's why he was popular in their birthing class.

He was also the main reason she was feeling so much better. Her blood pressure was now down to normal, she had no choice but to thrive under Rick's care.

Michonne's admiration came from her _always_ on fleek eyebrows and her ability to make the class laugh.

"That's how you do it!" Shivonne, an African American lady with short hair jabbed her husband in his side, earning Rick another undeserving side eye from Lenny for showing the men up in class. Again.

"Ricky's got you spoiled huh," Trisha said from across the room, crossing her arms, giving her tall Asian husband a suspicious glance. She and Ken were newlyweds who got a special souvenir on their wedding night.

"You don't even know the half of it," Rick said, his tone full of mirth. Michonne turned around to glare at him, losing the wall of his chest as a prop.

"Spoiled?" she was all wide eyed, as though the observation wasn't an honest one.

"Honey, your husband is attentive. Enjoy it." Jewel - the newbie said again. Jewel's husband had given up trying to defend himself. In five minutes Rick had shown up all the men in the class with his effortless consideration to Michonne's needs. Of course it was easy to assume she and Rick were husband and wife, despite their lack of rings. Their synergy was hard to deny, even for her.

"We have our fair share of problems," she said, just as Rick took her scarf out the bag, asking her if she was feeling chilly.

Pink hair Jewel looked at Heather, her lips cocked to one side. Rick's actions were countering Michonne's previous sentence.

"Honey we should all have your problems."

Michonne could tell trauma nurse Heather was always outspoken. "He's not my husband. We're not married." Saying it saddened her, there was a tiny part of Michonne that revelled in believing Rick could be hers to keep.

"It isn't for lack of tryin'." Rick knew the ladies were on his side. He was playing the sympathy card up, relishing in the allies he had gained in the class.

"Remind me why you two aren't married again? You're living together. About to bring a life into the world. You've got mad chemistry…" Heather's words dropped off, too disappointed to speak.

"It's complicated."

Rick's was content to fold his arms, remaining silent, letting Michonne take the heat today. He had his fair share.

"What are you waiting for? You want someone else to come swoop his fine ass up?" Shivonne turned her body away from her scowling husband. Lenny was probably normalized to her nosy ways. Meddling seemed to be a hobby of hers.

Michonne couldn't help but laugh, their new acquaintances appeared too interested in Michonne's lack of commitment with Rick.

"It's not as easy as you think. We're just here to learn together about what to expect when the baby comes."

They were a unified front when it came to the baby, it was their division of what they _could_ be that separated them.

"You obviously love each other." Jewel observed, her tone matter of fact. Michonne watched the few women in the class with agreement on their faces. Jewel had only known her and Rick for five minutes and she was already in cahoots with the rest of the meddlers.

"Marriage is a walk in the park," Shivonne shrugged, trying to convince the two.

"Jurassic Park," her husband Lenny added, causing Rick to chortle in his corner.

Michonne tried to smile too, she had no intentions to dive into a dissertation about why she couldn't marry Rick. She wasn't even sure her reasoning was making sense to her anymore. She was getting more attached to him as the days passed. The baby was a major part of their bond, but she knew the intense fondness she had for Rick had nothing to do with what was in her belly, but what was in her heart. She knew she couldn't trust it. Not when loving Rick meant he would put his trust in her. Michonne knew Rick, he didn't go half in on anything. He would be devoted to her one hundred percent. If he was ever in need of her and she failed him it would change her forever. She cared about him, too much now for her to risk it. She couldn't add him to the list of people she'd failed.

In light of everything coming to a head, she thought it was a good enough time to head back to her aunt's house, before she became too attached. She already anticipated leaving Rick again would feel like she was severing a limb.

She couldn't remember feeling so confused and giddy when she was with Mike. Loving him had always been a slow trickle of certainty that her heart belonged to Mike.

Rick was an all consuming rush that threatened to knock her off her feet. It only heightened her already strong constitution not to hurt him.

"Well I see our newbies are settling right in. I'm sure we're all up to date on the Richonne Chronicles? May we begin?" Carol King entered the room with her arms folded and an inconspicuous laugh on her face. She too had taken an instant affinity to the duo. She was rooting for them all the way.

Grateful for the interruption, Michonne felt relieved she didn't have to give a rebuttal.

Their session was about to begin. Carol preferred to start right on time. She was a no nonsense, take charge lady that was well versed in her field, especially with her being the mother of three girls and one boy.

Once the class had quieted down, Carol took out the fake baby from the drawer and began her tutorial on the do's and dont's of diaper wrapping which made Michonne feel instantly for tacos.

"Dodged that bullet huh?" Rick said, taking his position beside Michonne as instructed.

She couldn't miss the sarcasm in his tone, not by a mile.

She may have dodged a bullet, but Cupid had shot an arrow straight to her heart.

* * *

On the way home Rick and Michonne made a stop for dinner and some much needed, life and death- according to Michonne, Rocky Road ice cream. They finally walked through the door a little after nine. He rushed to close the door, fighting off the sharp coldness. A reminder the holidays would soon be upon them. He could already picture him and Michonne driving up to Big John's to select a tree of their own to decorate. He hoped his forecast wasn't too far off.

He could tell Michonne was beat, her waddle - she hated when he called it that, was slow and undetermined. After having a sip of water, he helped her up the stairs. While she was fiddling in his room getting ready for bed he took the initiative and lit a few scented candles in the bathroom and drew her a bath.

Once he ensured the water was not too hot, not too cold, but exactly right, he called out to Michonne. Her towel was already wrapped around her when she stepped into Rick's mint green ensuite bathroom. Flickering candlelight greeted her, its shadows bouncing off the large wall tiles creating an intimate hub as Michonne stepped on the tiled floor.

"I thought this might help."

Michonne's tired composure got a jolt, instantly relaxed by the aroma of lavender that had encapsulated the room. She couldn't remember a time while she recuperated at Rick's house when he didn't cater to her every whim and fancy, even the unspoken ones. It was like he knew what she was thinking before she even voiced it. Michonne melted inside at his thoughtfulness. All he wanted to do was make things easier for her. She knew she wasn't giving him a fair chance, but in moments like this when it was only the two of them, the possibilities of what they could have together played on her subconscious. Now that the discussion from birthing class rested like a weight on her chest, she knew she had a lot of thinking to do, decisions to make.

"Thank you," she smiled.

Rick rose from his crouching position, removing his fingers from the tepid feel of the water, wanting to leave her to it. He saw the disappointed on Michonne's face when he stood up.

Knowing this could be their last night like this, Michonne didn't want him to leave.

"I want you to stay." Her voice was low, but her words were unmistakable.

Rick could tell Michonne was happy by the soft smile that crept up her beautiful face. He likened the feeling growing in his heart like watching a warm sunset. He hadn't been expecting an invitation to the moment he had created solely for her.

Releasing her practical thinking, Michonne looked at Rick, their already heated gaze had nothing to do with the flame of the dozen or so candles encircling them. Resolute on what she wanted, even if it was just for the night she slipped the towel from her body. Rick caught it before it fell to the ground. His eyes hadn't left her naked, alluring frame, or the emboldened look in her eyes. He could see the depth of brown in them every time the flame flickered. It showcased her statuesque body for the goddess she was.

Ignoring the pool of arousal that started a wild dance in his belly, he held her hand, ushering her carefully into the porcelain tub. Michonne was a bronze goddess, she glowed from pregnancy. Her body was still a wonderland to him begging to be explored.

He needed to possess her again, his pants already felt tight. Michonne was giving him free range in his perusal of her body again. He hoped his aroused glare didn't water down his intentions. He wanted her to relax despite his sudden discomforts.

Michonne closed her eyes once her body was immersed in the perfect feel of the warm water. She leaned against the head of the tub, bliss possessing every inch of her tired body. Feeling Rick's penetrating blue eyes boring holes into her frame made her feel sexy. As she advanced to her eighth month of pregnancy her belly could be seen around corners, her walk was duck like - Rick said more than once he could watch her waddle all day.

She refused to claim she had a waddle, but a waddle it was. They laughed like best friends at the silliest things, had the best inside jokes. She would miss him when she moved back to her home.

"Tell me if you need anything." Rick tucked a stray loc into her hair band, loving when she opened up to him.

"Just your company."

She was giving into her desires. He was surprised she wasn't putting up any resistance to what she really wanted.

"I'm all yours."

The double entendre didn't slip by her.

"Your son is moving." Michonne placed her hands on her belly, "I think he knows when you're around." She took his hand, "here feel." Rick's Palm splayed across her belly, the top just peeking above the water.

"I'm thinkin he's gonna be into sports." Rick smiled at the projection, thinking of how he'd take his son to ball games where they would soak up the sun and eat too many hot dogs. His boy would never have to wait all day for him to show up to go catch a game, or wonder if this was the year he'd get a call on his birthday.

"You and your dad caught a lot of games together?" Michonne liked that Rick's hand remained on her belly as he adjusted himself into a sitting position beside the tub. Inside she was happy he was staying.

"One. He went off drinking with his friends and forgot all about me. Mom came to get me."

"I'm sorry Rick."

"I'll never do that to my son." He would never feel an ounce of pain, he would never experience not being wanted by his own father.

The residual pain in Rick's voice stung her.

"Whatever happens between us Rick, I'll never keep our son away from you. Tell me you know that."

"I do."

"Good."

"I want him to know he has a place here Michonne."

Rick's home was warm and inviting despite lacking that feminine touch she craved to unleash.

"It's a big house for a guy who said he had no interest in having a family."

Rick chuckled, the observation was ironic coming from the woman who had changed that very notion.

"When I was younger we lived in a small apartment. We didn't have much. I told myself when I got older I was going to make enough money to buy a big house."

"Well you accomplished that."

"Maybe we can pick a room upstairs for the nursery." Rick saw the alarm on her face as soon as his words ebbed into a complete sentence. He didn't mean to sound as though they were a normal couple planning for their first child, but it was difficult to separate his thoughts when she was under his touch, like if she belonged there.

"I want him to have his room here too."

He hated to think of being separated from Michonne and his son, but he had to ease her into what he had planned for them.

"It makes sense." She was trying to stay on the practical side of things. Being with Rick felt like home, leaving him felt like a criminal offense.

Rick ran away from the thought of having a family for most of his adult life. Fearing something he had no business fearing. Now that he knew he could take care of Michonne, now that he understood the joy of creating a life he realized he had spent his whole life getting it wrong. Michonne and his baby, that's what living was all about.

They had lulled into an intimate silence, Michonne's eyes were closed. She was humming an unfamiliar tune.

"I'm giving you ten more minutes in here and then we'll get you out," Rick said, thinking it was too much torture being this close to Michonne, not touching her in the way he wanted to.

Michonne's eyes flickered open, just as Rick bent over the tub to give her protruding belly a kiss.

She touched his beard, the salt and pepper sprinkles dotting it made her yearn for him more.

"Michonne…" His penetrating gaze was undeniably affecting.

"Kiss me." She was caught between not believing she said what she was thinking, and being happy she did.

Rick leaned in, gazing at her lips as he descended on them. Their kiss was warm, his tongue plunged into her wet mouth and she moaned. Her nipples pebbled, the jostling of the water and Rick's hand still on her belly turned her on immensely.

Unable to wait any longer, Rick's hand found her folds. Then his fingers found her lips, he plunged into them.

Their kissing didn't let up, it was greedy and fiery.

"Yes…," she said, feeling the electricity awaken her core while he fingered her.

"God Michonne, I can't get enough of you."

"I want to touch you Rick." She reached for him over the rim of the tub.

"Not yet."

In and out, in and out, his fingers took up a score of their own. He felt her body tighten under his devotions. She gripped the ledge of the basin, battling between letting her climax take her over the precipice, and keeping it at bay for a little while longer.

"You gonna come for me baby?"

"Yes Rick." She shuddered at the sound of his smooth voice, her climax the force of an earthquake.

"Let me touch you." Her voice was clouded, her arousal still just as intense.

Rick reached for the fluffy, towels neatly lined up. He helped her to stand, towel drying her off. Once she was dry and no longer cold Rick lifted Michonne in his arms. Despite her huge stomach she was light in his arms. He took her to his bed where he shed his clothes in one swoop unable to deny their reunion any further.

He joined her on the bed, pulling her glistening body against his. He lifted her legs slightly, swiftly entering her from behind.

He groaned when his dick slid into her heat. He was finally home.

He held onto her belly as he tried to control his thrusting.

"I missed this." He heard her say, her tone desperate. It spurred him on. He felt like he was on a merry go round that was going a thousand miles a minute. He palmed the firm roundness of her breast. Rick was tisic feeling her derriere bounce on him every time he plunged into her. Michonne was in a frenzy feeling another orgasm course its way through her. She was on the brink of madness, needing so much more from Rick, not wanting the moment to end.

"Michonne," he breathed out. "This is what you do to me." He kissed her glistening shoulder.

She took his hand in a bold gesture, allowing him to flick her bud in time with the heated symphony he was orchestrating inside her. It started like a blaze of fire for the both of them, where control slipped, words escaped them, and the world was spinning on its axis at a fast rate. Michonne gripped Rick's side as he continued to rub her button mindlessly.

She felt his seed shoot into her. She vibrated on his dick with a loud moan.

Their breathing grew labored, sweat dotted their skin despite the slight chill in the room.

"Michonne. I love you." Rick couldn't keep it in any longer, not when Michonne had taken up every inch of space inside him.

Michonne closed her eyes when she heard Rick's declaration. She couldn't speak. She couldn't breathe.

She felt Rick pull out of her, she caught his hand before he could leave the bed. "Stay." She needed their cocoon for a little while longer.

He heard the wistfulness in her voice before he turned and saw it in her eyes.

"That's what you want?" He wanted her to say the words, wanted her to admit to herself what he already knew.

"I want you to stare here with me. I want to fall asleep in your arms." She was more exhausted than she knew how to express, but she wanted to be in his company a little while longer.

Rick drew the blanket over their naked bodies, spooning her, his hand draped around their son. He wasn't expecting a boomerang response from Michonne. He wasn't expecting her to ignore his admission either.

Still high from her climax, but tired from the physical exertion she'd just displayed, Michonne's eyes were closing down. Her feeling of elation was gone. In her mind the worse had happened. She knew what Rick said, what it all meant. She was filled with dread now, fully aware she hadn't said it back.


	8. Chapter 8

Michonne couldn't believe their Sunday Dinner tradition remained a _thing_ , or how inducted Rick looked passing around plates of fried chicken and corn bread while narrating stories from their birthing class. He was laughing up a storm - his smile stretched wide making his eyes laugh too - with the friends he now considered family. They'd spent a quiet day together with her feeling hopeless from Rick's sheer hopefulness in what they'd shared the night before. Neither of them wanted to speak about the dynamic shift in their bond just yet, treating the linkage like glass.

She was fearful, if prodded too much it would shatter, destroying the bubble they were in. Michonne knew better, whatever they had was best measured for the temporary happiness it was most likely destined to be. She was sure to enjoy breakfast in bed that morning with Rick while he read the newspaper and she, the comic strip. Sadness abated when Rick unashamedly talked to her belly while she tried to binge watch episodes of Law and Order on Netflix. She wished it could be the two of them all the time. It was the lack of control she had once they stepped out their cocoon that scared her. She wished there was a way to maintain the joy she felt, suspending grief and disappointment for as long as she could. She wanted to bask in the wonder of loving Rick without being afraid, even if she could never utter those words to him. Michonne had been pleasantly surprised when Rick spoke about Sunday dinner. He asked her to accompany him. She opted to go, craving the togetherness that she once took for granted, now understanding the high value her friends carried.

When Rick and Michonne arrived at the Greene's that Sunday evening they were holding hands, a connection Michonne herself couldn't sever after the resurgence of their intimacy fiercely gripped them both. It hadn't gone unnoticed by their friends.

Waking up to Rick had been the piece of happiness her heart had been longing for. Now Michonne was in doubt of her decision to move back to Yvette's, even though she thought it was her best play. Her heart remained heavy with the weight of indecisiveness.

In spite of the heavy scrutiny of Rick's gaze Michonne excused herself from the lively dinner table, finding solace in the back porch where she and Maggie had many late night conversations when they were teenagers. She received an invite to accompany her friends to Maggie's final dress fitting tomorrow. She wanted to make reparation for what she'd done; they wanted to give her redemption. She was caught in the middle deciding which one she really deserved. The Sunday evening breeze was not too chilly against her skin. The baby doll dress had been a good choice, she was glad Rick grabbed her cardigan on the way out of the house.

"I remember you and the girls used to come here every Friday night as a rule." Hershel said, joining Michonne on the porch.

Michonne turned to her old friend and smiled.

"Ms. Lily made the best pies. We couldn't stay away."

Hershel had always been a comforting face for her. He was a good father figure for a girl like her who couldn't remember her dad, but yearned for that particular male influence. Looking at him in his white shirt and black suspenders even after all these years, still felt like home.

"You feeling alright these days? I told Rick I need a weekly update."

"I'm feeling much better. Thank you for all that you've done. Jacqui is great," she said referring to her new doctor.

"Yeah she's a sharp lady. How are things with you and Rick?"

Hershel would've been privy to the story about how she came to be carrying Rick's baby. She still felt caught off guard by his inquiry.

"Things are okay. I'm glad we got this time together." She had come to know the most important part of Rick; his heart. The power of what it held scared her. Rick's _I love you_ felt like a harbinger of heartache.

"He's one of us," Hershel said, his tone more than convincing.

"I can see that." Michonne tilted her head to the living room where the gathering seemed to be in the thick of a funny story, with Rick as the nucleus.

"He isn't much of a talker you know, but that boy cares about you a lot." She was sure Rick sought advice from Hershel too, hoping whatever the sage man dished out would serve as a compass.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt him." She felt like a broken record, but the disclaimer seemed to be a necessary one.

"I'm more worried about you." Hershel said, placing a hand on Michonne's shoulder.

She was surprised by his concern, Hershel always saw something different in her. She was glad to see despite her many transgressions that hadn't changed.

"Why?"

"Because I know you made a life for yourself in the city. Now you're back here. That must be scary for you."

"I thought you were gonna say I got comfortable running." Everybody else did.

Hershel gripped the railings with both hands, leaning slightly over the banister, staring out into the calm night. "I always felt you were running towards somethin' Yvette did too. You chose to leave. Maybe it was destiny."

"Destiny huh?"

"Yeah. Don't underestimate its power."

"Destiny has nothing to do with why I left Hershel." She was a skeptic, if destiny was such a virtue why did loving scare her so much.

"Yvette said you had to go your way. I always felt she knew your way would always bring you back home."

Michonne's mind strayed when Hershel mentioned her aunt. He too had lost a friend when her aunt passed. Yvette left an impression on everyone she encountered. She was best known for three things; her peach cobbler, unfiltered advice and a string of pearls she wore whenever she left the house. She wished she had one more minute with her aunt, one more minute of her tough love, one more minute of her unfiltered advice.

"I felt lost out there too, for a long time."

"Sometimes losing your way is a part of destiny too. Sometimes you find your way right where you thought you lost it." Hershel's tone was that of a teacher, he was gentle in his pitch, where as his words were just as impactful as if he was speaking from a bullhorn.

Michonne rubbed her arms, easing the goosebumps that appeared out of nowhere. "I miss her. Being back here makes me feel her even more." Michonne's chest tightened with sadness. Unable to control the bubbling emotions within her, she let a few tears slip past her usually stoic stance. Hershel had a way of spinning perspectives, she never tried to fight it.

"I never got to tell her thank you or that I was sorry for staying away for so long." At the time there wasn't much she could give, her selfishness felt justified. Michonne looked up at the stars, wondering if the twinkling ones were her aunt and her mom. How disappointed were they looking down on her?

"Your aunt was as strong as an ox until she got confined to that bed. I think that killed her faster. She always talked so highly of you. You were successful. Your mother would've been proud."

Hershel's words hit her in her belly, she wanted to believe what he said. She hung her head, tracing a phantom trail on the grey railing with her finger.

"Your aunt never blamed you you know?" He saw the turmoil going on behind Michonne's forlorn expression.

"She told you that?" Michonne inquired, clinging to something strangely resembling hope.

"Not in so many words, but I knew what she meant. She knew you had a hard life Michonne. You weren't running away. You were running to something. Maybe you had to come back home to find it. Maybe you already have?" His words were suggestive, implying exactly what she thought he was.

Could Rick be the thing she had to come home to find? Was Rick a part of that destiny Hershel seemed so adamant about.

"After what went down with Mike, it was hard to face everybody." She finally confessed. Hershel was far from being a priest, still she prayed for some absolution.

"It was unfortunate what happened to Mike. But don't think for a minute it was your fault. Or that anyone blames you for it."

"They tried to warn me Hershel." Michonne sniffled, but continued. "I thought I knew Mike better than they did." Her cheeks were wet now. Her son was busy tonight, moving around in her belly, giving her comfort in his own way. It helped to ease the anguish she felt.

Facing Michonne, Hershel took both her hands in his. "Michonne, I never told anyone this, but I reviewed Mike's autopsy reports, there were high traces of alcohol in his blood. He'd been drinking a lot too. If you'd stopped him from taking the pills that night there's a good chance he might've drank himself to death some other time. Or overdosed on the pills and booze."

"What are you saying Hershel?" Michonne's eyes widened in disbelief, Mike's addiction problem was bigger than all of them.

"I'm saying Mike chose his way. So can you."

"But…"

"You think you could've prevented that too?"

Michonne's mouth opened, but no words came out for a few seconds. "I don't...I didn't know." Hershel's disclosure scared and stunned her. The information received was debilitating, challenging her culpability in it all. Perhaps nothing she did that night would've saved Mike. Could Hershel be right? Mike made his choice, it was just the wrong one.

"I didn't want anybody else to get hurt Hershel. I still don't." Her shoulders slouched.

"You mean Rick? You don't want Rick to get hurt."

Michonne nodded, she knew Hershel understood the words she weren't saying.

Michonne's internalized sorrow was hard to witness from the front seat view Hershel selected. He wanted to help her see she was holding herself at bay with her fears.

"I know you Michonne. I can feel the guilt coming off of ya', but it ain't yours to carry. You deserve to be happy."

She looked up from the ground, staring Hershel in his eyes. "Do I?"

"Yes you do. Mike would want that for you. Your mother, Yvette…" His hands trailed after his words. "Sometimes happiness can come after sadness."

"Somehow Hershel, when I'm happy, I still lose." Happiness was something she couldn't put her trust in, not when it was proven it could be ripped from her grasp in an instant.

"The things that happened before weren't in your control Michonne. Now you're back where it all started for a reason."

She wanted to know the reason more than anything.

"Be that as it may. I need some space to think about things. I'm not sure how Rick is going to feel about that."

She was reluctant to voice to anyone she was going back to her aunt's. She hadn't even realized she solidified her decision until she talked to Hershel.

"I reckon he may not take too nicely to it. But if it's something you think you need to do, then do it."

Knowing Hershel sanctioned her move somewhat helped her to feel settle.

"He's gonna think I'm running...but I'm not." Soon enough she could rival Usain Bolt with all the running she claimed she _wasn't_ doing.

"Run or stay Michonne you're the one who has to leave your fear behind. It's a choice we all have to make at some point. Your heart don't ever lie. Listen to it."

Hershel looked convinced, making Michonne question the things she thought were carved in stone. Staying meant building, building meant constructing bridges back to the people she loved, but at what cost?

She was yet to find a bridge to Andrea. Avoiding any lengthy discussion with her friend was still a thing for her. Strangely enough when she pulled, Andrea didn't push, which made her feel hopeless about _that_ one relationship she'd missed.

If she somehow, inadvertently hurt Rick like that, she'd never be the same again.

Maggie and Sasha were different, they forgave her before words were spoken. Andrea still cradled the hurt Michonne tossed her way when she said goodbye with a note and not in person. She was the one affected most by the fray she left behind. Michonne didn't want to hurt Rick like that too. She already knew loving Rick would mean she might have to stay away from him. The thought of not waking up in his arms ever again broke her heart.

"Sometimes it feels like a dark tunnel. I never know what's on the other side. It's too dark to go in. So I retreat." Plain and simple she was afraid to let go, to love. To live again.

"The only way to know what's there is to go through it. You might be surprised what's waiting on the other side of your fear."

"You should be a fortune cookie." She laughed to keep from crying. It gave way to some levity after laying bare her trepidation.

"It's nice to see you smile." Hershel said leaning against the railing.

"Do what you need to, but don't take too long. That baby will be here soon."

She nodded, rubbing her belly. Her baby deserved two parents who loved each other. She wasn't sure she could give him that, but she could settle for fostering a firm friendship with Rick. She wasn't certain about telling Rick she was leaving beforehand. She knew he would try to stop her. She knew he thought they could forge a way together. Maybe they could, but she needed to step away to understand if her guilt had been misplaced after all this time. The sooner the better.

Rick deserved that much.

"You should head inside, think I heard Mags say she's bringing out the sharades."

Hershel was back to all smiles, Michonne could tell he loved when all his kids were under his roof. "You look good Hershel." Michonne said, touching his arm. Her half smile was back in place like a comfortable piece of armor.

"Well that's a big compliment for this old man." He laughed, his cheeks filling out when he did.

"Now get inside," he ushered her in. "The circle isn't complete without you."

She would rather spend a few minutes alone contemplating when and how she was going to tell Rick she was heading home without it turning into a disagreement between them. She still had three weeks to go before the baby came. She was hoping that would be enough time to gain some perspective. If it was possible, she hoped she and Rick could be friends, not only for their son's sake. She would rather have him as a friend than not in her life at all. Friendship meant boundaries, parameters that didn't dabble in pain and disappointment. Friendship she could control. With her mind made up, she grappled with how to help Rick understand her leaving didn't imply she was abandoning him like his father did.

* * *

Michonne's bags dropped on the ground with a _thump._

Claire Grimes stood on Rick's doorstep just as Michonne was taking her exit. She recognized her from the pictures and the fact she had the same azure eyes as the father of her baby.

"Michonne." Claire uttered one word, two syllables, but Michonne heard an entire unspoken dissertation in her cadence. She spoke with Claire a few times on the phone, constructing a respectable friendship with the woman solely responsible for raising Rick, but they were yet to cross paths.

Until now.

Michonne didn't expect the first time they encountered each other would've been on the doorstep of Rick's house; one of them about to enter, one of them about to leave. She felt as though she got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"Going somewhere?" Claire questioned, this time her tone was less accusatory, more curious. Michonne was aware she knew exactly what was taking place. She couldn't run from this dalliance. She couldn't run from much these days with her waddle, unless she was headed for a bathroom break.

"I'm headed home," She feigned an innocent smile and a cheery tone, despite feeling like a transgressor under Clair's steady blue gaze. It made Michonne's legs feel unsteady as they stood on the grey painted porch together.

"Does Rick know?"

Michonne released an unsteady breath, "Claire I'm feeling better. My stay at Rick's wasn't supposed to be a permanent one." Her convalescing was over. Her body felt better, even if her heart didn't.

"My grandson is about to be born soon. You really think leavin' now is a good idea?"

Michonne walked to the white patio loveseat, sitting as ladylike as her big belly would allow.

Deciding for her own peace of mind that Claire's question was a rhetorical one, she decided to give Claire some insight, so when she did pass judgement on her, it would be an educated one.

"Rick and I see differently on a few things. I thought it was best to take some space." Michonne rubbed her belly, "while I can."

"Rick wants to get married and you don't." The pretty, blonde woman said, folding her arms, leaning against the porch pillar as though she was talking to an old friend.

She wasn't surprised Rick told his mom about his plans, despite how lonely Rick felt he and his mother had a pretty decent relationship. Which made Michonne suspicious about Claire's unannounced visit. Was she here to campaign for her son? Or did she want to meet Michonne in earnest.

"He thinks marriage is the best way to move forward."

"That's because he's convinced himself he loves you Michonne."

Even Claire didn't sound so sure as she spoke what had probably been previously communicated to her.

 _I love you Michonne._

Rick said those words to her the night before. She didn't need to be convinced. It made leaving all the more difficult.

"As long as I'm here he's gonna think marriage is the right move for us. I didn't want to put all that pressure on him. We can find other ways to be there for our son."

A part of her knew even without the baby growing inside her Rick would still want her in his life. She felt the same way, but the baby brought them together again. She had no regrets.

"You say pressure, I say control. Pressure is a nice way of putting it."

Michonne's eyes widened at Claire's statement, shocked at the point of view on Rick delivered by his mother. It rendered Michonne speechless.

Claire continued, not missing a beat, "Yeah, you think I don't know my son? I know him. That's Rick. He'll take control of the situation when it comes to those close to him. He steps up. But there's a drawback, the need for control is excessive. If he fails he shoulders the blame." Claire didn't say it directly, but she knew what was the subliminal message. If Michonne left, Rick would blame himself. Just like how he blamed himself for his dad leaving.

She wasn't like his father. She couldn't be.

"Rick isn't to blame for me leaving." She hated that she got caught red handed doing the thing she told Rick she wasn't going to do, but after they'd made love and her candid conversation with Hershel she couldn't stay. She just couldn't. She had everything to lose now. Leaving while he was at work was sneaky, but she'd worked it out in her head. By the time she got settled at Yvette's Rick would find out, then they could talk rationally on how to move forward, without his home and all the feelings that came with being there, influencing her decision.

"You and I both know that's not what he'll think."

"I love him Claire." Michonne's hand covered her mouth as though she'd been slapped. She was afraid what else might slip out.

"Your actions say otherwise." Claire gestured to the bag on the ground.

"It's unfair to the both of us to continue living like this."

Claire stared up at the beam and took a deep breath, as though what she was about to say would somehow change things.

"You're good for him Michonne. I can see why he needs you."

"I am?" Approval was the last thing she expected from the woman standing across from her. It all felt so bittersweet.

"You are. You've turned Rick around. He's been alone for too long. You're giving him everything he thought he couldn't have."

She didn't want to think about Rick needing her. Claire thought she was good for her son, it was a shocker, but it made her happy.

"I'm afraid I'd hurt him if I stayed. I'm afraid I'd fail him when he really needs me." Hot tears spilled onto her cheeks. "I think that might be the death of me." Precedence had ruined her faith. Tragedy had shaped her destiny.

In two steps Claire brought Michonne into her arms, easing the tightness in Michonne's chest almost immediately. Claire soothed her back, "Oh honey. That's not how love works. You and Rick should talk. Love is always a risk, but don't miss out on something great because of the bad you had before. You two owe it to yourselves to try."

"What if I fail?" she sobbed. What if Rick needed her and she wasn't there for him.

"What if you don't? What if Rick is your great love story after all the pain you've been through?"

Michonne's hands covered her belly in a circular motion. She was so focused on failing, the possibility of flying eluded her brain. How lucky she would be to soar above the clouds with Rick.

Michonne swiped at her tears again, checking her watch, she knew the taxi she ordered would arrive soon.

"Either way Claire," she stood up, reaching for her bag. Claire reached the duffel bag before she did. "I need some time to work it out."

She mustered some dignity, and waddled off the porch, the weight of her luggage in her hands, the weight of her dilemma on her shoulders. She'd wait at the curb for the taxi if she had to. She needed to get away from the house as soon as possible.

The midday sun brought about a thick humidity, it felt like penance.

Michonne turned, giving Rick's house one last glance. "Tell him...tell him I'll call him soon." There was a possibility Rick would head to Yvette's. She made preparations for it. By that time she'd find the courage to say what she had to say to him face to face.

"Michonne." Claire called.

Michonne stopped in her tracks.

"Call off the cab. I'll take you home."

Claire couldn't allow Michonne to leave in a cab. She looked so sad and alone. She would deal with the fallout with her son after.

She would find a way to justify why she helped the woman he loved escape him.

* * *

Before Rick walked into his house an ominous feeling gripped him. It was as if he knew something horrible happened and there wasn't much he could do about it. The feeling heightened when he observed his mother - a sober expression on her face - sitting on his couch, her feet together, her hands clasped, like a judge about to execute a ruling.

For a suffering second he was eight years old again, his mom waiting to tell him his father wouldn't be coming home that night.

Only this time, the loss was ultimately greater.

Cautious, Rick took two slow steps forward.

"Where is she?" Rick's voice was pinched. He felt the imbalance in his home, felt a strong tug deep in his gut.

"She moved back to her aunt's."

Without thinking about making a calculated move, Rick pivoted on his heel. Heading back out the way he came.

The least she could've done was tell him she was leaving him to his face.

"Rick," Claire called, standing up.

"What?" Rick answered but never turned around. He wanted to dwell in his upset for a little while, he didn't want or need the sympathy he knew was waiting for him on his mother's face.

"Where are you going?"

"To get her back."

"How do you plan on doing that?"

"I don't know." He set his hands on his waist, as his head looked up to the heavens for answers. "She left on her own? Did Andrea come get her?" He wondered if she had any accomplices.

"I took her." The way his mother spoke Rick could tell she didn't believe she'd made a mistake.

Rick's blue eyes turned dark, setting on her with a quiet intensity. A tinge of betrayal from the woman he thought understood his situation better than most gripped him.

"You had no right!"

"You can't lock her up here Rick! She isn't a child! She needs some time to think. Give it to her."

"She's afraid. Now she's alone. I'm not gonna leave her."

"She's a grown woman Rick. You can't control her behavior. Just like how you couldn't control your father's behavior. No matter how good you thought you'd been."

Rick scratched his brow, his thumb lingering on his skin after the phantom itch had subsided. The last person he wanted to discuss was his father. The blast from the past counseling session was something he could do without.

Claire stood in front of Rick, holding his rigid face in her hands.

"I know you tried when you were younger to be the kind of son you thought your father wanted. In the end he still left us. That isn't your fault."

"This isn't the same thing." Rick stared at the floor, convincing himself it was okay when people left. He survived being abandoned by his father.

It was only Michonne he couldn't live without.

"No it's not, because unlike your dad Michonne knows she has some things to work out. Give her some space."

"She's pregnant." Michonne's heart needed rehabilitation. He had the tender, loving, care therapy she needed.

"She's not as fragile as you think she is."

Rick felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He knew Michonne didn't want to be alone, she just thought she had to be. He thought about all they'd shared in his house, how happy they were over the last few days. Making love sent her right back to her shell, but her leaving actually gave him a dose of hope now that some of the dust had settled.

Leaving could mean she did love him.

"She left Mom. We had something real and she left."

"She knows what you two have. I think she needs some time to realize how different this is. She's been through a lot Rick. Give her some time."

"She's almost due. She needs me." Truth was he was the one that needed her.

"I know you think you know what's best here, but you're wrong on this."

Rick shook his head from the many doubts filling his mind.

"Maybe I go over there and I can't bring her back, maybe she doesn't love me like I thought she did," he shrugged, raking a hand through his hair. "The last time she left I didn't do anything, I can't make that mistake twice. I at least have to try." He headed off in a haste, not wanting to be deterred by anything else his mother had to say. He had to fix things between them.

"You're upset Rick." His face was red and tight. " Don't leave like this!" Claire called out, but it was too late.

Rick's truck bolted down the street.

* * *

The boys had outdone themselves with the house repairs over the last few weeks. Michonne remained in disbelief at the transformation.

It was no wonder Rick didn't want her heading to her aunt's by herself. The work done was extensive. The exterior had been repainted in a soft yellow. The porch had been redone and polished, giving the wood a shiny finish. The kitchen had also been re-tiled. Rick had listened to everything she wanted, going above and beyond the call in delivering on her desires.

He stretched himself thin during the renovation period, still finding time for her. She was missing him already. His shoes remained untidily at the door, his toothbrush was always out of the holder, and he couldn't make a bed to save his life, but she missed him.

Even with all the new trimmings, there was a draft in the house, she couldn't remember there ever being a draft. Home didn't feel like home so much.

Michonne's heart resided elsewhere, her heart ached thinking about it.

Still, she was back, she had to make the most of what she had.

She figured she'd call Sasha soon to let her know she moved back home, her phone was off for good reason. Knowing Rick was fixing over her aunt's house for her while wanting her to stay with him permanently touched her deeply.

As heavy handed as he could be, Rick Grimes wasn't selfish. The place felt different, Michonne felt like a stranger being back. Like a jigsaw puzzle missing a pivotal piece.

Sitting in the couch with a cup of tea in her hand Michonne pulled a small box full of picture albums to her feet, remembering she needed to find a permanent place for the mementos. A loose picture to the top of the pile caught her eye on sight, she grabbed it up; Yvette, T-Dog, Noah and herself, all smiles at Noah's College graduation. It rained that day, she and Yvette had just gotten their hair styled at the hairdresser. The graduation ceremony had been held outdoors. They laughed all throughout the ceremony while looking like two wet chickens, but the sheer joy on her aunt's face attending her baby boy's graduation warmed her like if the sun was shining that day. The memory warmed her now. It had been a good day.

It took place a few weeks before Mike died.

Michonne turned the picture around and found a note in her aunt's neat handwriting. It was addressed to her.

 _Michonne,_

 _I was going through our family photos today. This is the last one we took as a family before you left. I miss you, but I understand why you had to leave. I hope you can let go of Mike when you need to. Nothing that happened to him was your fault. Don't carry this one. He would want you to be happy. So do I. I hope in leaving us behind you find yourself, without any regrets. Even if that means coming back home someday._

 _We will be waiting for you whenever you do._

 _Love Yvette._

Michonne's eyes stung. Yvette understood why she left. It was exactly what Hershel was trying to tell her at the house. Her resolve was being challenged. She didn't know how to feel, but the sand under her feet was shifting. Yvette was hurt but she understood what Michonne needed to do. All this time Michonne didn't believe she did.

 _Don't carry this one._

The words dented her belief. Her aunt was telling her _not_ to let what she was feeling weigh her down or rule her life. Rick said something similar when she shared the story about Mike on the couch with him. She'd mistaken her grief for guilt, allowing it to take her places she was never meant to traverse.

Her contrition was misplaced.

Love was somehow greater than her fear. She had to be brave enough to love Rick. She had to be strong enough to stand by Rick if things went wrong somehow.

But could she?

The baby kicked, causing Michonne's shoulders to shake with laughter.

"Yeah. I love him too baby."

It wasn't a big epiphany, but it was big enough for her to realize what she'd be missing out if she continued to walk life alone. She packed the pictures in the box and set the half cup of tea on the coffee table.

She needed to talk to Rick.

Swiping the almost dry tears on her cheeks Michonne decided to turn her phone back on.

She had fourteen missed calls from Rick. Three from Sasha, two from Claire and four from Daryl. Word would've spread she'd move back home. She knew they would all be worried. Before she began returning calls she decided to read her text messages. There were four from Daryl which alarmed her. Daryl Dixon wasn't a texter.

 _ **Daryl**_ _: Is your phone off? Call me back._

 _ **Daryl**_ _: Chonne. Where are you? Call me back._

 _ **Daryl**_ _: Chonne. Call me back! Now!_

 _ **Daryl**_ _: Chonne. It's Rick. He's been in an accident. Call me._

Michonne's heart felt like it was coming through her mouth, her mind racing to the worst possible conclusion. She dialed Daryl's number in a haste.

"Is he...Is he dead?" she asked before Daryl had the chance to greet her.

"No. but you need to get down here." Daryl's voice was low and gravely.

"Okay." Michonne felt frozen, unable to ask how the accident happened or if Rick was at least awake. If things were dire Daryl wouldn't tell her on the phone.

A thought nagged Michonne; her departure from Rick's home couldn't have been more ill-timed. It was onerous to fight off the harrowing conviction Rick's accident was somehow her fault. Even her epiphany of loving Rick felt completely insignificant now, because in loving him she had failed him.

It was happening again.

"Andrea's comin' to get you. I'm gonna see if I can get an update."

The call ended leaving Michonne motionless on the chair, trying to suppress how helpless she felt. Again.


	9. Chapter 9

"He's gonna be alright."

Andrea's voice sounded distant to Michonne, contrary to the fact they were both sitting in the front seat of her car, headed to the same destination. She looked quite the professional in her black and white, wool houndstooth pants suit, somehow reminding Michonne of her corporate life back in the city. Late nights at the office - rushing to meet deadlines, late trains with android like commuters and even later dinners with people she'd forgotten as soon as they parted ways.

Michonne didn't miss it one bit.

Bringing herself out of her musing, Michonne nodded in agreement. He had to be.

The road in front of them seemed long, longer than it should be for someone anxious to get to where they were going. Michonne knew Andrea was driving as quickly as she could, while still making attempts to obey the speed limit.

"He has to be," Michonne responded, hands clasped in her lap, grateful that the deafening silence between them began to dissipate as they got closer to the hospital.

"Do you...do you know what happened?"

Andrea shook her head, a sober look on her face while maneuvering down the road.

"When Daryl called I left work. Told me I had to come get you."

It was deja vu. Neither Michonne nor Andrea said anything, even though they were both thinking it.

"Thank you."

Andrea shrugged her shoulders. "No need to thank me. It's what we do."

"Thank you is a good change. It feels like I'm always saying I'm sorry. Even though right now that's what I am."

"What exactly are you sorry for?" Andrea kept her head straight. Michonne appreciated that her tone wasn't harsh or judgemental. Michonne hoped after all this time Andrea was less upset, more, trying to understand. She was owed an explanation after everything. Michonne wished she knew how to articulate the pain and guilt she was struggling with all this time, into words.

"For Mike." She paused, giving her head a slight shake, wary that they were in the same predicament. "Now for Rick."

She didn't want to think about Mike, but in the middle of this horrid dilemma it was hard not to. She'd be lying to say if the whole situation didn't seem ominous in a chest tightening, heart racing, gut clenching kind of way. The last time she had to rush to the man she loved, he hadn't survived. After all this time what she felt for Mike was microscopic in value and experience, when matched against what she held in her heart for Rick. She felt like she was stifling. If Rick didn't survive whatever happened she wasn't sure how she would move on.

At the mention of Mike's name Andrea gripped the steering wheel, her knuckles clenching as she did. They were stuck in a time loop; the same scenario panning out in front of them. Only, the names had a slight alteration, but the rushing beat of emotion all felt the same. When Michonne left abruptly all those years ago, cutting off her friends and family Andrea mourned not one _but two_ of her friends.

Andrea wanted her to know she wasn't finger pointing on what happened with Mike. It wasn't so much blame as it was disappointment in her friend's behavior _after_ the tragedy, that haunted her the most. Andrea always thought they were closer than a disappearance act. Closer than whatever had snaked its way between them, creating a distance in their friendship from before Michonne left King County.

"No one blamed you for Mike. I didn't." There was a crack in Andrea's voice as she spoke.

Andrea's confession saddened Michonne more than she already was. Andrea was the girl who kept her feelings hidden behind a mask of over confidence, and a well practiced rough exterior. The fact she was showing her cards to Michonne said plenty. Michonne wanted to touch her, hold her hand or give her a hug, but she was the one needing consoling. She was the one trying to keep herself together. She was hanging on by a thread.

"You did."

"No I didn't. I was mad at you because you left. You left us all to grieve. But I never blamed you."

"I thought I knew Mike. I didn't reach him in time. In the end I failed him and I failed you guys."

"Michonne." Andrea put emphasis on her name, lingering on the n's. "Mike's death shouldn't be your burden. Not then. Not now."

Knowing that Michonne still felt that way grieved Andrea. She wanted to help her then, she wanted to help her now. She whispered another prayer, wanting a better outcome from Rick's accident.

"I thought different. I left so I wouldn't have to face you guys. And I wouldn't have to face hurting anyone else."

Talking to Hershel and Claire, combined with the advice Yvette sent her way from the grave felt timely and necessary, delivering a message she was still trying to absorb.

"We needed each other to get through it. I'm sorry you felt like you had to do that alone. That you couldn't let us in."

She knew she was at fault too, she should've been adamant that Michonne not go through everything by herself. Things seemed to fall apart after Mike's funeral. They were all sad, all quietly going through their stages of grief at the sudden loss, but they were still in some way connected, with Michonne being the exception. Notwithstanding how alone she assumed Michonne felt before her disappearing act, there wasn't much that could penetrate her at the time.

Until Rick.

"I'm sorry about the note. You were the last one I wanted to hurt Andrea. You were my best friend. I know if I told you in person you'd be the one to change my mind."

"I think because we were best friends that it hurt so much. Seeing you home again after so many years, hurt. I'm not even gonna lie."

Michonne didn't have a plausible response to her statement.

"But it was also everything. Once we realized what took place with you and Rick. It all felt right. I'm glad you found him."

"I was gone for a long time." Michonne swiped an errant tear away. "But Rick somehow brought me back."

Andrea nodded towards her big, round belly. "In more ways than one." It was probably a poor attempt at making a joke, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere. She knew what Michonne meant. They both shared a laugh, in spite of the uncertain circumstances before her. She felt lighter than she had in awhile. She was hopeful. After all that anguish between her and Andrea, they could still share a laugh. That had to be a good sign. She hoped it meant that whatever condition Rick was in they could work on doing better, communicating better.

"I was wrong for leaving him like that. I knew he would try to get to me."

Andrea shook her head a few times. "I've known Rick a long time. Sometimes he's an act now, ask questions later kinda guy. Whatever happened I hope you two are able to work things out."

Michonne shared her attention with the disappearing surroundings. They flew past the King County Courthouse and the coffee shop on Jefferson Avenue owned by Bob Stookie. They were close.

"Do you really mean that?"

"I do. You need to clear the air, but don't carry this one. Rick's a trooper."

 _Don't carry this one._ That's what Yvette said.

"I really need him to be Andrea. I have some things I need to say to him. I love him."

Funny that she could say those three special words now, just not the person it was directed at.

"Then why do you look so sad. Even before the accident."

A dry, short chuckle escaped her lips, Andrea was seeing her fear, even before she could express it. She switched lanes, the buick in front of them was going at snail's pace and they didn't have time to dilly-dally. Michonne wished her resolve was that swift sometimes.

"Because I'm not sure loving Rick is the best thing for him."

It was the thing that plagued her most. Loving him, but not being able to love on him. The way she wanted to, the way she knew he wanted her to.

"I'm not sure either." Andrea's tone was firm, unapologetic. It made Michonne face her, witnessing the grip she had on the steering wheel slacken some.

"What do you...mean?"

"I mean I'm not sure it makes sense to give your heart to Rick when you haven't let go of Mike yet."

Michonne's mouth fell open, about to say something as a follow up to her admission, but she chose to listen before lawyering up a defense.

"I'm not saying you're still in love with Mike. I'm just saying the guilt from him dying the way he did weighs you down. And you're letting it. Something bad happened. You didn't make it happen. Mike was sick. Saving him wasn't a one man job. If he were here right now, he'd want you to move past it all."

Andrea touched her hand, surprising Michonne on contact.

"You gotta let it go Mich. And I know it's hard when the guilt has kept you warm and fed after all this time, but you deserve to be happy. So does Rick. So does this baby that's coming soon."

Michonne touched her belly, missing Rick's presence more than anything. Somehow amidst the chaos in her mind, Andrea was making sense. She wanted to believe that the principle could be transferred to her other relationships too. But the resolve felt one dimensional. Her actions had a repercussion, Rick was hurt because of her. So although she understood she had to release Mike from her conscience, she wasn't sure how that transplanted to not failing Rick.

"I get it. I do." Michonne pointed to her chest. "But this one's on me Andie."

Andrea sighed, she wasn't sure what it was gonna take for Michonne to see loving didn't always mean losing.

They finally pulled into the hospital parking lot, finding a spot close to the entrance.

"Whatever it is you're feeling from Mike's death don't allow it to keep you from living. From having a real life with whatever it is you found with Rick."

Michonne remembered the night at Merle's bar, how Rick had been the one to seek her out with an excuse of bringing her jacket to her because the night was a chilly one. His laugh was the thing that kept her warm that night. He had given her so many things since then, including the gift resting under her heart.

"Thing is Andrea." She swiped her cheek again, tears were leaking out and she was done stopping them. "He found me."

Although Michonne's plate still felt heavy, it wasn't as full as before.

She had Andrea to thank for that. Things weren't perfect between them, not by a long shot. They may not even be great, but whatever they were now, was better than before.

...

Maggie and Glenn were already sitting on a worn bench in the waiting room. Daryl was propping up the not so white wall, his hands folded, peering out the window. Sasha had not too long taken Claire to the cafeteria for some coffee. Hershel sent a message he'd be down in a bit to check on Rick. Everyone who Rick considered family was present, waiting for some kind of news.

Nobody looked horridly sad or depressed, there was no morbid feeling ebbing around them as Michonne hugged everyone.

Michonne assumed that meant Rick was okay. He wasn't dead, despite the images implanted in her brain of him in a full body cast, with broken arms and legs. She had to fight the horrible image out of her head. Even in that state, she would stay by his side.

"You feelin' alright?" Maggie was checking on her, she appreciated the concern. There was a slight but constant gnawing in her lower back. She'd been ignoring it when she first felt it talking to Rick's mom on the porch. For now, it was a distraction. Something to pull her away from Rick.

"I'm okay."

Maggie relaxed at Michonne's response. Now wasn't the best time for premature labour.

"He's gonna be fine. We should hear from the doctor soon. You go on in honey."

Michonne held onto Maggie's hand. She wanted so badly to show her gratitude to all of them for coming down to the hospital. Daryl was the last to greet her, telling her on sight that it was clear to go in the room. As far as her friend was concerned, she'd been delayed enough.

A cream door stood in Michonne's path, waiting to be entered.

Andrea offered to take her handbag from her. Michonne handed it over, smiling at whatever new thing she and her friend had found in each other. "I appreciate you being here for Rick," she said, not just to Andrea, feeling overwhelmed with the love that was apparent.

"Michonne…," Andrea said, sweeping her hand around half the small waiting room, gesturing to the group. "Look around. We're just not here for Rick. We're here for you too."

The hug Andrea gave her was tight and timely. Her words setting a discovery inside Michonne. It hit her sharply, like an electric current jolting her wide awake. She wanted to laugh, it was ridiculous in its simplicity. All this time she's been looking for ways to build the bridge back to her family, but Rick's been the bridge all along. He was her doorstep. All she had to do was open the door.

… **.**

The first thing she noticed was the super white bandage wrapped around Rick's head. He was half sitting, half leaning on the pillow on the narrow hospital bed. Michonne entered the room, slowly, carefully. Rick's eyes were open, which Michonne took as a good sign, despite the cuts and bruises lining his arms and left cheek. His blue eyes bore into her with a fixed expression, not saying a word, just staring.

If Michonne was a piece of glass he would see straight through her. Her mouth hung open, about to say something despite not knowing what that _something_ was, when a mature, straight face doctor entered the room.

"Mr. Grimes your CT scans came back. No injury to the brain. No trauma. The headaches are consistent with the jolt to the head you got. The bruised ribs are gonna be a pain in the ass but given what you endured it could've been worse."

The doctor was business like, checking Rick's eyes with the tiny flashlight he fished out his pocket.

"They've already stitched your arm up, so we're just gonna monitor you for a bit, then you're free to go."

He tucked Rick's chart into the holder at the end of the bed, then turned to Michonne.

"You the wife?" he asked, a soft smile on his face.

"Is he...is he going to be alright?"

She avoided the doctor's question altogether. She needed to know the facts, Her eyes saw that Rick was okay, but she needed confirmation.

"I'm sorry. Forgive my manners. Dr. Horvath." He stuck his hand out, taking hers in a firm grip. "And you are?"

He was unsure of who was asking, and who he'd be giving answers to.

"She's family." Rick's response was low, but matter of fact.

Michonne caught the olive branch, but he was yet to look in her direction. She shook the pleasant man's hand, giving him her name.

"He was out when they brought him in. I'm not ruling out a concussion. So we're keeping him for observation." The doctor eyed Michonne, nodding in Rick's direction. "Keep him talking if you can. I'll be back later."

With the doctor gone there was no buffer for Michonne. Even if Rick was mad at her, she was glad that he was alive to be upset. It meant what they had wasn't entirely over. She walked towards the bed, touched the blanket that covered his legs. She focused her eyes on him, relieved when finally his blue eyes met her concerned ones. The silence that stood between them wasn't strained, it was pensive in context, both trying to avoid saying the wrong thing.

"Rick I'm sorry."

"This wasn't your fault."

They both spoke in unison, surprising each other.

Michonne wanted to be the one to clear the air first, even if clearing-the-air-words evaded her.

"I'm glad you're okay. I'm so sorry Rick." It was probably a stupid opener, but her emotions were all over the place at the moment. She was struggling to structure what she needed to say to Rick.

"This isn't on you."

"How can you sit there and say that?"

He was battered and bruised because of her.

"You feelin' alright? The baby ok?"

Her face rushed with feelings she couldn't quite label, she wanted to cry at his selflessness.

"Tell me what happened."

At her request Rick inhaled, then exhaled before focusing on her again.

"I came home early, found out you were gone. Everything feels like a blur after that. I just know I needed to get to you. I was checking my phone to see if you called, saw the red light a little too late." He winced from the excruciating pain trying to lift his hands elicited. "And here I am..."

It was dumb of him to lose focus like he did. He was grateful nobody else was hurt in the collision. Cars could be repaired. Lives were a lot more fragile.

So the accident really was her fault. She felt like she was sinking in a bottomless ocean.

"I should've never left your house. You could've died." The tears came then, full and flowing as fast as she batted them away.

"Stop cryin' Michonne." Rick said, his voice soft. The stress wasn't good for her or the baby. He was drawing a chasm between wanting to help her and leaving her to see things on her own.

"You have every right to be mad at me."

"I wanna be." It wasn't fair that she left the way she did.

Michonne felt like there was supposed to be a _but_ at the end of Ricks sentence, he never said it.

"Do you have any idea how it felt comin' home and you weren't there? Again?"

The second time stung more than the first.

"I'm sorry." She wanted to go back in time and take it all back.

"After all we shared Chonne…"

He grunted at the pain his elevated tone caused in his chest and face. The use of her shortened name slayed her heart. She heard the dip in Rick's voice when he said it.

She rushed to assist him. "I just needed some time."

She didn't know how to say how jumbled her feelings were at the time.

"From me? You needed time from me?"

"Yes." She patted her wet cheeks with her hands. "And no. I was scared. Running seemed like the answer. I thought it best to step away for a while to think things over. I know somehow you wouldn't let me if I told you before."

"You're right. I wouldn't have. Because I know how scared you must've been to go runnin' off again."

"Rick…" She stared at him again, this time her gaze was brazen, so was his. "What you did was stupid. You know that better than anybody."

"It was. That's part of the problem. I've been rushing everything by us. I've been cornering you and it wasn't fair. I just wanted you and the baby to be okay."

He palmed her belly, calming her racing heart in the process. She smiled that he still held the ability to do that. He shifted around on the bed, making room for her to sit.

"I know."

"I'm sorry loving you chased you away. You're not ready and I ignored that. Thinking if I showed you that I was, you'd get there. But that's not how this works." It took him too long to figure it all out.

"I wanted to stay you know, but for all the right reasons. I didn't want to be there because I felt some kind of obligation, or even guilt. I didn't even want to stay there for the baby."

Rick deserved more than pretense. She held his hand, hoping that somehow through her words he could see her heart.

It was exactly like what aunt Yvette said. "I had to go my way, but finding it made me realize I didn't want it to be my way. I didn't want to run away from what we had. I wanted you Rick. I wanted us."

Not wanting to be insensitive or seem too eager about what she found on her damascus road, Rick asked. "So what's keeping you back from it?"

He asked because doubt had been her shadow for a while. He wanted to know why.

"It's easier to hold on to the pain. It's easier to believe I didn't deserve you Rick. When I got to Yvette's, I saw all the work you did. The place looked almost new. But somehow it didn't feel like home."

She paused, her eyes flickering past him before continuing.

"Then Yvette wrote me a note. After I read it...I don't know, I just felt a big release. I knew I cared about you. A lot. I couldn't deny it anymore."

Why couldn't she just say _the words?_ She saw his eyebrows raise at her sentence.

"And just like that I wasn't home anymore."

"You weren't?"

"Home for me isn't four walls and a roof. It's the bluest eyes I've ever seen, two bowed legs and the biggest heart I know all wrapped up in one. That's home for me. You're home." All she wanted to do was go home now. She wanted to give into the weightlessness being in love usually brought. She wanted that with Rick more than anything.

"But then I get the call that you've been hurt and I'm back where I started. Afraid that somehow loving you means hurting you. My real fear comes to life because you're sitting here injured because of me."

Michonne's shoulders heaved with despair, unable to stop the sob that gripped her. Rick couldn't stop himself from hauling her into his arms.

"Come here."

He pressed her head against his chest, his physical pain evaporating to accommodate her emotional one.

"This isn't on you Michonne. I need you to see that. I've been doing too much, too fast. Ever since I found out you were pregnant I thought it was a sign you know. You've given me so much in such a short space of time. Things I thought I could never have. I think I fell in love with you that night we were watching the stars."

He was gazing at the moon that night, but ended up falling for a star.

"You did?" Her voice was a bit muffled from leaning on his chest, recalling one of the best nights of her life back in February.

"Yeah. I didn't want to lose you."

He touched her cheek, the pad of his thumb erasing her tears.

"You're hurt."

"Michonne, look at me." Rick guided her face to his, needing her to capture the essence of what he was trying to vocalize.

She surveyed him, her gaze timid, but determined.

"I'm alive."

He was telling her what she already knew the minute she got to the hospital. It wasn't over.

"You're alive."

She echoed for emphasis, holding his face in her palm, trying to drive the declaration to all parts of her system.

"And so are you."

His hand touched her chest, pointing to her heart, then glided down to her round tummy.

"I am. We are."

"So what are we going to do with that? How do we make it all mean something?"

"It has to, right? Mean something?"

"I think it does."

"I want to try Rick," she said the words on a shaky breath.

"I want that. If it's something you want."

"Can we just take things slow?"

"I won't bring up marriage again. Until that's something I'm sure we're ready for."

"I want to be ready, but I'm not quite there yet."

As brave as she'd been admitting she cared about Rick, she was doing more of a jog than a sprint.

"It's okay if coming back home is too much. We'll find a way to make it all work."

With her due date around the corner she had to be sensible about her decisions. She felt respected that Rick understood her position on things. A nurse returned to the room with a tray of medication and a glass of water. Michonne eased off the bed while Rick was being tended to.

"You have someone to stay with you at home I hope," the pretty hispanic woman said.

It dawned on Michonne that if she was no longer living at Rick's, there would be no one to take care of him. His mother lived an hour away. She had a job to tend to.

He needed her.

"I'll manage," Rick said, barely able to lift the glass to his lips without help.

"You're doing great Sheriff," The nurse said sarcastically, earning her a scowl from Rick.

Michonne couldn't let her fear eclipse Rick's Injuries.

"He has me. I'll take care of him."

"You don't have to," Rick said.

The nurse left, leaving the couple to work out the details.

"I don't want you overwhelmed. I'll be fine. "

Michonne smiled, a big grin spread across her face. She strutted to Rick's bed again, fluffing his messy curls.

"I'm trying to take care of you. You gonna let me?" It all felt right.

Rick couldn't help but smile back at her. "That's what I told you."

They were trading places.

"And what happened next?"

She eased him back against the pillows, adjusting the blanket over him.

"You let me."

"Good," she smirked.

It was a done deal.

… **.**

Four cars pulled up to the curb outside Rick's house. If it wasn't factual Rick was in an accident, Michonne would've assumed they were all a part of a happy processional on that cool afternoon. Rick's mother felt relieved when she realized Michonne had pretty much taken over Rick's care upon her arrival. She left when they did, promising a visit during the week. Glenn drove Rick's truck over to a friend of Daryl's who owned a car repair shop at Michonne's request. Rick rode in Shane's car. Shane and Daryl took point on helping him inside. The switch up made sense, it was easier for Rick to maneuver into Shane's car. Sasha and Maggie arrived twenty minutes later, parking behind Andrea's Toyota.

"Where should we put this?" The question came from Maggie who was still toting bags of food into the kitchen from the car. The brown bags containing what Michonne deduced could only be Mexican, was making her stomach growl.

"You can put them on the counter Sash. Plates are in the third cupboard to your right, and utensils in the drawer."

Everybody had jobs to do and was making themselves busy doing it. Daryl and Shane eased Rick on the couch. Michonne gave them instructions as though they were trying to land a plane.

"Chonne you gon' be like this the whole time you nursin' my buddy back to health?" Shane asked sarcastically, his eyebrows pointing up as he gave her his famous half smile, the one that had most of the women of King County throwing themselves at the bachelor.

"Just do what she says." Rick said, taking a throw pillow from Daryl, tucking it behind his back.

"You think you can do a better job Walsh?" she threw back.

"Nah. I ain't got the patience."

Sasha came into the living, mandating them all to eat the food she'd just put out on the dining table.

"You should rest." Rick looked up at her from the couch after watching his friends walk off. His words were slow, precise.

The bandage around his head was gone. There were three tiny plasters on his cheek, and his torso was covered in deep red blotches from his bruised ribs. Talking was difficult.

In a nutshell he was in pain.

"I'll rest when you do. Now anything you need don't hesitate to say. Okay?"

He nodded.

"Do you want some of the food Sasha bought?"

"Not hungry," he grumbled. Michonne knew he hated feeling helpless. From the looks of things Sheriff Grimes wasn't going to be an easy patient.

"Eat. Please? For me?"

She knew he had to eat something to take his next round of painkillers.

"Maybe I can eat some tacos," he complied

"That's a good start."

She rose from the chair, reminding herself to get him some bottled water to keep him hydrated.

"Michonne." Rick called out to her before she could reach anywhere.

When she looked at him, his pain didn't seem so severe.

"Thank you."

He was grateful that in a way she was pushing past her fears, for him. She nodded, her heart bursting with love. She didn't think she could hold it in any longer. She had to tell him how she truly felt. Michonne smiled at the bustle of activity coming from the dining room. Their friends turned family had been there for _the both of them_. Things were better now. She didn't have to function on the imperfections of her past anymore.

Shane shared a rude joke, the laughter coming from the room sounded like music to her ears.

… **.**

"You comfy?"

"These are all your pillows. Not mine." Rick teased, feeling as though he was lying down on a cloud.

"They're on loan," Michonne clarified. She was adorable in her silk shorts pajamas. Her belly protruding in a different kind of way.

"You should go lie down. I'm sure you're exhausted."

Michonne needed rest too. They had a full day.

Everybody stayed a few hours, had lunch, watched a movie, then it was just the two of them. As much as Rick appreciated their friends' presence, he preferred when it was just him and Michonne.

"It's been a long day. I'm so glad you're okay."

She sat comfortably on the bed, glad for another opportunity to be this close to Rick.

"If I need anything I'll call."

"Actually," She couldn't quite bring her eyes to meet his. "I was thinking I'd sleep here with you. You know...to be close. The bed is big enough."

She was rambling. Her justification felt trashy. She wanted, needed to be close to Rick. Her suggestion took him by surprise, he wasn't going to complain. He wanted her close too.

"You know I saw the way you were with everyone today. Was it...was it like that before?"

There was an exuberance in her demeanor that didn't go unnoticed. The group felt tight. They didn't feel as disjointed as before.

"I guess you can say that."

"Does that mean things are better somehow?"

"I think they're more than better."

The sun had long descended, reminding Michonne another day was soon on the horizon. She was getting one more day with a chance, unlike with Mike. Maybe this was the chance that mattered. No matter how scared she felt, she had to be brave. She had to have faith in spite of the evidence to the contrary.

"I have you to thank for that."

"Me? How so?"

"Hershel said something to me the other night and it finally made sense."

"What'd he say?"

Rick knew Hershel had a way of reaching him even on his darkest days, he was sure for Michonne it was the same.

"He said that we somehow find our destiny on the very road we took to avoid it. I've been avoiding _them._ Avoiding you. I'm sorry it took you getting hurt for me to face everything again. I feel like I was blind before, but now I can see clearly."

"See what exactly?"

"That you lead me here. Here in this moment. Back to my friends. To the people that mattered."

"I don't think I can take credit for that."

"You can. I see something else I've been fighting too."

She inched closer to Rick on the bed. Second chances were rare. If she wanted the broken things to grow in her life she had to touch destiny with her bare hands. She couldn't reap what she didn't sow.

"Yeah? What's that?" Rick adjusted himself slowly on the big bed, the scent of Michonne's soap and the clean linen sheets relaxing him completely.

Michonne had so much to say. As Andrea put it, something bad happened, but there was so much good that came out of it.

She wasted a lot of time denying her heart. Playing it safe, not wanting to give up any control. Rick's accident showed her she didn't have the kind of control she thought she owned. After drifting for so long, she found a place to rest. Rick was the rain to her barrenness. Contentment had been a jealous companion too long. Holding her back from living a joyous life, with Rick. She didn't want to continue punishing herself by cutting people off. She was done being a product of her past. Her baby deserved all the love in the world. To give him that she had to let Rick know how she felt.

Her pulse jittered when she took his hand in hers.

"I love you Rick."

She caught Rick off guard, his smile spread slow like molasses, wanting to savor the weightlessness he experienced at Michonne's declaration.

"Aren't you gonna say something?"

"Nah, I just want this feelin' to sink in."

"You're incorrigible."

"What are you saying? What does this mean?"

He was going at her pace no matter what. As long as they had forever together, he'd be happy.

"I'm saying right here in this moment is where I belong. With you."

He was free of deep seated fear, he didn't have to worry about her sneaking out on him again. Still, he wanted her to know that if she needed her space he'd give it to her. For him, home was wherever she was too.

"There's no pressure here Michonne. No time stamp pressing on us to be something other than what we already are. We're our own thing."

"I know that now."

They were finally on the same page.

The baby scored a goal of his own in her belly, giving his own approval. She took Rick's hand, letting him feel their little footballer.

"He's happy here," he said, still smiling, still staring at Michonne like she was the sun.

"I think it's time we look for some baby furniture. What do you say?"

The normalcy of their intimacy was something Michonne didn't know she needed.

"I think it's time you come over here so I can show you how much I love you."

"No Rick, you're hurt."

As much as she craved the connection, she couldn't add more pain to his already sore body.

"My lips are workin' just fine."

She shifted over to him on the bed until they were hip to hip . Rick leaned in first, as much as his injuries allowed, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt Michonne would meet him halfway.

Their kiss was sweet at first, a light grazing of their lips, slight touching of their tongues, but it easily migrated to something more intense. Rick held her neck, his lips making her a part of him.

She touched his curls, afraid to touch him anywhere else, not wanting to hurt him, but desperate to explore the newness of their love. Michonne didn't want to let go, but reason had to reign over arousal, so she broke the kiss after peppering Rick's lips with a few short pecks.

"You need to rest, it's the only way you're going to heal."

She had to admit, she was beat. Her body needed rest too, considering the pain in her back was still there. She didn't want to alarm Rick unnecessarily. Rest would do them both some good.

She drew the covers, tapping Rick on his shoulder.

"We have a tiny problem Rick."

He touched her naked thigh, his eyes already closing down on him.

"You're on my side of the bed."

Even as she switched off the lamp she saw the gleam in Rick's eyes. It didn't matter what side of the bed she was on, she was there to stay.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N; Another end to another wonderful journey. Thank you guys for sticking with me. This was a fun, emotional ride for me. Every review, every like, every fav - just know they are forever cherished by me. I hope you guys like the conclusion. I can't believe how many Richonne weddings and babies I've written! Lol. See you guys next time!**

 **Love y'all.**

 **Sophia**

* * *

"The Babyletto Hudson three-in-one convertible crib is modern looking, yet timeless."

Michonne read aloud from the furniture brochure in her hand, subtly paying attention to Rick's facial expression as he surveyed the New Zealand pine made crib in detail. They visited two major furniture stores earlier in the day, but nothing was _good enough_ for their baby boy - in Rick's opinion.

"We don't need timeless. We need efficient," he said, bending over as low as his still healing bruised ribs would allow. Despite the coming and going back pain Michonne was enduring, coupled with the pain Rick was still experiencing from the injuries sustained from his car accident four days ago, she was in bliss. Being so openly in love with Rick felt weightless in spite of the load she carried.

"Modern looking yet timeless? All the kid's gonna do in there is sleep!"

Michonne chuckled, pregnancy brain was in full force as of late. She forgot she had Andrea on speaker phone. Rick shook his head at Andrea's outburst, but felt joyous at the sight of the sheer happiness hanging on his woman's face as she chatted with her friend. Things were slow coming, but bridges had been built and crossed. The broken things were mending. If there was one thing he was grateful had been salvaged in the fray was Michonne's relationship with Andrea. He knew the unresolved sadness from both ends.

"So where are you two headed next?"

Rick noted Andrea asked the same question twice already.

"Hopefully this man can decide on a crib already, and then _hopefully_ he can feed _us!"_ Michonne responded to Andrea, but was looking at Rick with a giddy glint in her eyes.

"You're hungry? Why didn't you say so."

"And I need to pee."

"Are you still having back pains?" Andrea asked, her voice as clear over the speaker as if she was in the room with them.

Rick eyed Michonne curiously. She had gone through a thorough round of questioning before they left the house. Michonne's confident tone, along with the burst of energy that seemed to take hold of her that morning convinced him she was able to shop for a few hours. He pleaded for two, her feet were swollen and she required a bathroom every twenty minutes, but their baby needed a place to sleep and Michonne deemed that important over everything else. They were only a few days away from their due date, labor could be any day now. Rick was both excited and petrified.

"No, I'm okay."

She wouldn't exactly describe whatever she was experiencing as a pain. More like another indicator her body was preparing for labor. She didn't want to issue any false alarms.

"Good." Andrea sighed over the phone. "Because you cannot go into labor in a furniture store."

"Nobody is going into labor until that nursery is complete."

"We're on it! Daryl, Shane and Glenn are painting as we speak." There was a playful confidence in Andrea's tone. She had appointed herself foreman over the assembled team.

"So a couple more hours maybe?" Andrea asked again.

Rick's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion at Andrea's specificity. He shook his head at Michonne again, mouthing the word _weird_ to her, resulting in Michonne stifling a laugh. He opted to leave the two alone, moving on to an all white crib that boasted about its superior quality.

"We should be home early. Maybe you can come over later. We can watch a movie."

She and Andrea weren't where they were before, not by an inch at least. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, sometimes the old thing had to be chipped away for something new and unique to spring forth. She and Andrea had enough time and road ahead to carve out whatever they needed to be for each other.

It was the beauty of a second chance. She couldn't help but smile at Rick as she ended the call with her friend. She was being a little sneaky observing him in action. He was conversing with the store clerk, an eager young fella neatly dressed in his blue work shirt and pressed khakis. He was giving Rick the rundown on yet another crib. Rick had his arms folded, listening attentively to what was being said. She loved that about him; the way he gave importance to people and the things they had to say. He was respectful, even of the things he didn't fully understand. He treated her with care right at the start. He saw the disclaimer she came with, it did not dissuade him from befriending her. Then, once she was back in King County after somewhat selfishly holding back the news of their baby he maintained his stance on loving her. It was something she was never going to take for granted.

She was a flawed woman and Rick loved her, in spite of it or maybe even because of it. He showed her she was human too, she was grieving, but it didn't make her culpable. Simply put it wasn't her fault when people died. The notion was freeing, a healing balm to her wounded soul. Michonne took a slow, clumsy seat on one of the rocking chairs on display, realizing they may be a little longer than she anticipated. Rick turned to her just as she was getting settled into some _Rick and Chill,_ looking positive about his latest find.

"This one converts into four different pieces," he said, sounding like he'd discovered Atlantis.

"Ok great! Let's take it," Michonne responded, trying to sound resolute.

"What? You don't have any questions?" Rick called, a few feet away from from her.

She shook her head, giving him her best smile. "I only have one word - Tacos!"

Rick laughed her off and returned to the clerk. She saw the slanted grin that plastered his face. She was giving him room to do what most expectant fathers do. Obsess and annoy the mothers-to-be.

"It's a crib Rick, not a fighter jet."

A soft voice spoke behind Michonne, interrupting her tease.

"Don't needle him too much. I wish my Chris was as involved as your husband is." A gorgeous, extremely pregnant woman pointed to her husband standing next to a set of recliners, chatting away on his cell phone. Michonne admired the beauty and length of the intruder's crochet braids; it cascaded almost down to her widening waist.

Michonne smiled back at her, amused that she found Rick's detailed furniture inspection so charming. It was a common mistake to assume she and Rick were a regular married couple expecting a baby. This time the faux pas gave Michonne deep pause. Now that she knew she didn't have to leave Rick to love him she began seeing their relationship in a different light. The word _husband_ didn't feel ominous, quite the opposite; it was life renewing when she thought of being Rick's partner for life. A commitment between them felt fitting, maybe a little deserving. Finally, finally she dared herself to dream.

"He goes all in," she returned, engaging the pleasant lady, not bothering to correct her. It felt a little silly now. Fearing something that was supposed to be so fulfilling. She already had a symbol of what they shared all those months ago. Nothing could strip that away. They were partners in every sense of the word. She didn't care what people thought they were, but a tiny part of her wanted everyone to be without question when they looked at them.

"You're lucky, my husband says let's just get the one with the tallest bars." Angie rolled her eyes at her husband's obvious lack of crib purchasing expertise.

"Hopefully you get yours before I get mine."

"I'm Angie. When are you due?"

The camaraderie was strong, maybe it was because they both looked like they were over being pregnant ten trimesters ago.

Michonne stuck her hand out for a shake.

"I'm Michonne. And I think I was due four emotional outbursts ago."

Angie laughed, rubbing her belly. She understood Michonne's sarcasm fully.

"Do you know what you guys are having?" Angie asked, elated she had someone she could relate to. Michonne felt jovial that Angie spoke about her and Rick as a collective. He was a large part of the experience even though they only had two months together.

"A boy," Michonne responded, her mind focusing on what her son would look like. When she thought about him, an angelic image of a baby boy with Rick's nose and her eyes filled her head. She wondered what color his hair would be? A rich Auburn maybe? Full of curls like his daddy she hoped. She definitely wanted him to have her laugh, but Rick's smile - the one that pulled her out of her hazy days, because she knew when he smiled at her, his heart was smiling too. Michonne knew without a doubt she wanted her son to have Rick's heart too. He was caring, selfless and fiercely loyal.

She stole a glance at him, still engaged in a debate over another crib. He was adorable, yet manly in his _The man behind the bump_ t-shirt. She loved that he was corny, she loved that he was so proud of what they created together.

"What about you?" she asked Angie in return.

"A girl. And I can't wait!"

After a few minutes of quizzing each other on already made baby purchases, Rick sauntered up to the two bellies, a proud smile on his face. He gave a polite nod to Michonne's new friend, then turned to her and said.

"It's a done deal."

"Thank God." Michonne didn't bother to question his judgement. He'd done a good job with decorating the nursery more or less on his own this week. He had good taste.

"This is Angie." She introduced the two. Chris was still on his phone, yapping away. Michonne wasn't certain if he knew his wife was no longer in his line of sight.

Rick shook her hand too and introduced himself.

"I was just telling your wife that she's lucky you're so into this."

"It's not so bad." Rick helped Michonne out of the rocking chair. He placed an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to his frame. He tried not to notice Michonne didn't bother correcting their new acquaintance.

In turn she looked up at him and smiled. "That's my husband for you. He's been very supportive with everything."

She knew Rick was taken aback by her response. She was trying the word on for size, surprising herself how perfectly it fit in her heart.

"You two are sweet. I wish you guys the best. I'm gonna throw Chris's phone away and blame it on the hormones."

"All the best to you too. Have a safe delivery," Michonne responded.

With a plan in place Angie walked off, ready to execute her idea.

"Husband huh?" Rick asked, not really requiring a response, he did want her to know how surprised he was by the innocent blunder.

"She looked so convinced." Was her cheap reply.

Rick caressed her back, he felt her body tense then release like she harbored a flash of pain.

"Michonne…," Rick attempted to use his stern voice, below he was deeply concerned she was experiencing labor pains, but didn't want to say anything.

"I'm not in labor yet. But I am feeling tired. And hungry and -"

" - You need to pee, I get it." He took her handbag off her shoulder and reached for her hand.

"Don't go too fast. Remember I've got that waddle thing going on."

Rick stepped close to her and kissed her on her lips.

"I'm huge. You can tell me. I walk like a penguin."

He touched her nose with his index finger, needing to touch her again.

"But you're the cutest, sexiest penguin I've ever seen."

"I feel like I've been pregnant for a year. This last month alone had at least four hundred and seventy nine days in it."

"He'll be here soon. Any day now. Right? That's what Jacqui said."

She nodded, she was ready to meet their baby boy. But she was also over being pregnant.

"I paid for same day delivery. Let's go home." He was taking every precaution with her. "Like Andrea said, you can't go into labor in a furniture store."

Rick supported her leaning body as they walked out the store. Where she was reserved before with him, she was open now, knowing she could lean on him whenever she needed to. Outside was calm, a light breeze flitted across the half full parking lot. Rick knew by evening there would be a chill in the early November air. They made their way to the car, he helped Michonne get situated, then proceeded to stuff all their minor purchases in the back seat of his truck. He took the light husband joke as something progressive between them. Not that he was going to propose to her again, but he felt optimistic about Michonne viewing them as something more cemented. Now that he knew he could love her without labels he was a lot more secure in what they had together. Like he said at the hospital, they were their own thing. As long as he knew they were going through life together, that Michonne would stand by his side as much as he planned to stand by hers, then he didn't need any fanciful, public declaration of what they meant to each other. He couldn't cast judgement on her convictions. He had to trust her process, destiny taught him the importance of timing. What he had to do was wait, their paths were always destined to not simply cross, but intertwine.

What they had was still fresh enough that his heart still took flight when she entered a room, there was also a measure of comfort that lingered knowing they'd be sitting next to each other on his porch in their nineties. His only plan was to spend the rest of his life with her, it was something he never thought he'd be able to obtain. It stemmed back centuries; men were still measured by their achievements, by the things accomplished. At the time he thought his father's abandonment was his fault, subsequently severing his ability to form attachments. To him, if someone left it meant he wasn't good enough. Michonne was the shake up he needed; between his fear of being left and her phobia of staying, they somehow managed to heal each other. He wasn't going to take any of it for granted.

The truck was loaded and ready to go. He tumbled the engine, but kept the truck in park, not quite ready to leave yet. Rick bent and kissed Michonne's extended tummy.

"I can't wait to meet you son." His eyes met Michonne's, they were full of love for him, the gleam in her eyes and the stretch in her smile was captivating as it was mysterious.

"What is it? What's that smile?" He pulled back, resting his hand on the steering wheel.

"I just feel happy. Like in some way this was all meant to be."

The journey may have felt precipitous for her, contributing to her apprehension and fear when it came to closing the doors of her past and opening up to Rick, but ultimately it lead her straight into his arms. As caging as her past felt, what struck Michonne whenever she looked at Rick was the feeling of complete freedom, and how empowering loving him made her feel.

"I'm just glad we finally found our way."

Rick kissed her palm, proud of how brave Michonne had grown before his eyes.

"I love you," she said, filtering her hand through his stubble.

"I love you too. Always." Rick's voice was resolute, the depth of his deep blue stare just as convincing.

Three simple words stirred a new feeling inside Michonne. Rick had been the do-er in their entanglement from the get go. She - a wary, but longing, curious participant to his affection. Now that she understood the impact of their love Michonne pondered finding a way to show Rick exactly how much he changed her life.

….

"Didn't you say you were stayin' in the car?"

Rick fumbled with the lock on his front door, not one bit amused Michonne was at his heels.

"I need to make sure you grab the right bag," Michonne answered, both hands cradling her large belly.

Rick shook his head, debating between picking her up and placing her back in the truck or letting her do her own thing.

Defiant, she slowly walked past him, entering the house.

"Woman you're relentless!" he chided.

"SURPRISE!"

Rick and Michonne were both startled by the ambush. Their friends and family had taken up camp in the full living room, ready and waiting for their arrival.

Michonne's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh my God! A baby shower! You guys didn't have to do this." Her eyes filled with unshed tears.

"Took you guys long enough to get here." Daryl spoke up as though he'd been waiting for the pair for years.

Michonne couldn't get over the big, bright and blue _It's a boy_ balloons decorating the room, and the huge cake in the form of a baby boy wearing a sheriff hat, or the myriad of gifts decorating the dining table. Her friends had gone all out. To her excitement she spotted Noah and his wife Beth and T-Dog sitting on the couch, she rushed to greet her cousins. No wonder Andrea was asking her all those questions, it was all part of the subterfuge.

"We really appreciate this guys…," Rick said, taking Michonne by the hand and guiding her back to the front door. "But we can't stay."

Michonne grew sad, pouting her lips at Rick. "But there's cake Rick…," she pleaded

"I know baby, and I'll buy you all the cakes in the world as soon as this is over."

"And exactly why can't you stay?" Andrea asked, slipping a crown on Michonne's head along with a _Mom to be_ sash over her friends curvy frame.

"Because Michonne is in labor," Rick announced, throwing the room into complete silence. In a humorous spin on the age old tale the mom to be was as calm as a lake, and Rick was doing his utmost best to not spiral out of control.

"Oh yeah." Michonne grabbed onto Rick, a thick slice of pain gripped her body, almost tipping her over. "I...am. Shit!," she said through gritted teeth.

Somewhere between their taco stop and their way home Michonne began complaining about what she thought was Braxton Hicks. The pain wasn't new, she'd been experiencing them all week. The ripples migrated from her lower back to her front, growing in intensity and duration, convincing them both she was in labor. She giggled to herself because she thought she peed herself a little, it was really her water breaking, or rather trickling down her brand new leggings. Jacqui had been immediately contacted and briefed, promising to meet them at King County Memorial. Rick planned to swing by the house to collect the baby bag on their way to the hospital. They were not expecting a baby shower.

Maggie was the first one to spring into action.

"I'll get the bag!"

"The party isn't over guys! It's just relocating!" Andrea shouted, scrambling to do God alone knew what. Rick looked back at her, figuring they'd at least chill at his house while waiting for a word from the hospital.

"What? You didn't think you two would be doing this alone did you?" she asked, feigning offense.

Despite the foreign pain infiltrating her body Michonne forced a smile through. She was overwhelmed with the love from her real family that was on full display for her to relish in. She knew it probably took her a long time to get where she was, or maybe her timing was planned and precise by something bigger than she was.

She didn't bother to question it, Destiny was never late. Standing on the threshold of Rick's doorstep she finally felt like she was home.

"Let's move it people!"

… **.**

Michonne started to rub her belly in quick, circular motions. Her body was making a path for her baby boy and she wanted him to know he was safe to come out. Quickly, she hoped.

"You're doin' so good."

Rick kissed Michonne's hands, glad she'd gotten a few minutes reprieve from another contraction. She was biting through the pain. Taking it all like the champ she was.

"I made a decision." Michonne looked up at Rick.

"I wanna have a natural childbirth, as in it's natural to take drugs when the pain gets really bad."

"Whatever you want."

He'd exchange places with her if it were possible. If an epidural was gonna help her through her labor he couldn't deny her the relief.

"I need to ask…," Michonne clenched her teeth, another contraction coursing through her already tired body. Rick dabbed her brow with a towel and held her hand in a tight grip. "...you something…," she ended, collapsing against the pillow.

"Babe, save your energy."

Michonne shook her head, vigorously. "No. No. This is important." She let out two breaths before she continued.

"Okay, what is it?"

Michonne was tired, despite her efforts at remaining calm. The contractions exhausted her, he was just happy he could be at her side throughout it all.

"When we met, I knew you were different. I knew somehow you were going to change my life. I was scared. So I did what I've always done. I ran. It was too late. You had already changed my life. I mean we're about to bring a baby into the world." She paused and crushed an ice chip between her teeth.

Rick wanted to give her room to speak, something was obviously resting on her heart to say. He sat at the side of the bed, glad they opted for a private room. Michonne was only dilated seven centimeters within the five hours they'd been at the hospital.

"Guess what I'm saying is you gave me the push to face my fears. You made me see everything I believed in love was wrong. You were right. I love you so much Rick, and I'm so glad we're having this baby."

"I love you too." Rick's heart expanded sevenfold.

"But something's missing." She touched his face, his blue eyes boring into her.

"At the time I thought a marriage between us was the worst idea. I thought you deserved better than me for a wife, and as much as you said we're our own thing. I want us to be a family, a real one. This baby deserves that." Rick was the one that said, they were alive and they had to let that mean something. This was it.

Michonne felt the onset ripples of another contraction, they were getting closer and closer and she knew time was of the essence.

"We deserve that."

"What exactly are you sayin' Michonne?"

Her change of heart caught him off guard. It wasn't what he was expecting her to say. Not by a long shot. He realized a ring wasn't going to tell him she was his soulmate. A piece of paper wasn't enough to solidify they were made for each other. He knew that now. But he did want to change her last name to Grimes, so the world would know what he already did.

Michonne took Rick by the hand and made an attempt to sit up on the bed. She looked around the quiet room, the peach walls were having a calming effect on her.

"What I'm saying is, Rick Grimes, will you marry me?"

Rick tilted his head, eyeing her with a dubious glare, but grew sober seeing Michonne's straight face. She was as serious as a heart attack.

"Yeah. I will."

At Rick's response Michonne relaxed into the pillows again. He figured they'd done stuff out of order, a wedding a couple of months down the road seemed like something special to look forward to.

"Good. Now go find a pastor, or a priest or somebody else who knows God."

Rick eyed her with further speculation. "You wanna get married now?"

"Yes. Before the baby comes," she grunted.

"Babe... you're in labor. We don't have to get married today." He was thinking about her and all the stress her body was under.

Michonne grabbed Rick's shirt in her hands, tugging him close. "Yes we do Richard! That's what I want."

He was too impressed with her determination to laugh again. It looked like they were getting married.

"Alright then."

It was her first real smile since they were admitted to the hospital.

"You go. Send Sasha in. Our whole family is here. I want them to be a part of this."

Rick didn't think the day couldn't get any more defining. It had evolved into so much more than he expected. Michonne had knocked him off his feet again. He knew life with her was always going to be an adventure. She remained an enigma to him. From earlier on in the morning when she asked him if she was wearing pants, because she couldn't see or feel anything below the waist, or the fact he had to shave her legs for her before they left the house after she burst into tears when she said she could rival a woolly mammoth. To this strong, black woman, who although afraid, still found the strength to face her fears and came out on the other side stronger for it. He benefited greatly from her strength. His son was going to have an amazing mother.

He kissed her, a deep one that made her feel euphoric despite the tenseness in her body. Rick promised he'd be back soon. He was about to break the latest news to their impatient family and friends who had all but taken up the waiting room.

… **...**

Rick managed to wrangle a Father Gabriel from the fifth floor. He'd been conducting his priestly service to sickly patients. He was reluctant at first, explaining to Rick the legality and validity of their union without a marriage license.

Once Rick explained the dilemma at hand, and the time sensitivity that came with it, along with the fact he couldn't deny Michonne anything she asked, the Father agreed to perform the ceremony. Rick promised they'd do the legal needful afterwards. The words and the symbolism of what they were to each other were the things that held importance to Rick and Michonne.

Everything happened in a rush once the decision was made, even Michonne's labor seemed to speed up.

Everybody smushed into the room like sardines in a can, but there was no suffocating the love that was felt all around.

Maggie found some baby's breath in the gift shop downstairs. Michonne used the pretty flowers as her bouquet - the meaning behind them reinforced she was doing the right thing. Rick asked Daryl to be his best man and Andrea, Sasha together with Maggie stood up for Michonne. T-Dog and Noah were proud to give her away. Siddiq popped in once word got around that a wedding and a delivery were taking place - certainly a first for the hospital. Hershel came in just in time for the most important part of the ceremony, not wanting to miss the union of two of his favorite people. He'd be doing the same thing for Maggie and Glenn's wedding next month.

Shane provided some unorthodox wedding music and Glenn videotaped it all.

Michonne crushed Rick's hand between hers. She was breaking out in sweat all over her body, having finally reaching that glorious yet frightening ten centimeters mark. Jacqui sat stationary at the foot of the bed waiting for Father Gabriel to wrap up.

"Wait. Wait. Wait!" Michonne panted. "We don't have a ring." It was an odd thing to think about at such a crucial time, but she needed a ring. Rick's mom who'd been at the hospital since they arrived, stepped up from her leaning spot against the wall. She pulled a marquise shaped tapered, three stone silver ring from her middle finger and gave it to Rick.

"This was your grandmother's. I want you guys to have it."

Claire touched Rick's face and held Michonne's hand, glad she was able to contribute something significant to their day. She was at peace knowing that Rick and Michonne got things right between them.

"Thank you," Michonne said, unashamed of the tears that were falling from her eyes.

"Thanks Mom. This means a lot."

A smile tugged at Rick's mouth when he looked at Michonne. Everything was falling together for them.

"I'm sorry I look a mess," Michonne said to Rick.

"A beautiful mess." He kissed her forehead, then signaled to Gabriel to continue.

Clutching his Bible to his chest, the bald headed minister picked up right where he left off.

"Do you Rick, take Michonne to be your wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of marriage, will you love her, comfort her, honor her and keep her, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, as long as you both shall live?"

Other than Michonne's moaning throughout Gabriel's script, Rick could've easily believed they were in a church. Everything about the moment felt so chaotically reverent. He'd never forget this day, not in a million years.

"I do."

Michonne's eyes were closed, she was biting her teeth as the pain hit her hard and fast. Rick felt her body tense up again. His belly contracted and his heart rate increased. They were out of time.

"Michonne, do you take -"

"Love. Comfort. Honor. In sickness. Check. No cheating - I doooo!"

"Speed this up padre. This baby is coming now!" Andrea smoothed Michonne's locs, wanting her friend to get some relief.

Rick didn't wait to slip the ring on Michonne's finger.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride," Gabriel finally said.

"No time people. I want everybody out! " Jacqui shouted, as Michonne began to bore down, about ready to give her first push. They were a noisy, happy bunch, as soon as the room cleared everything grew quiet again.

Rick kissed Michonne's forehead over and over again. She saw first-hand the glistening in his eyes, mirroring exactly what she was feeling inside.

True happiness.

"You ready to do this Mrs. Grimes?" he asked.

Michonne half smiled, half grimaced. "Mrs. Grimes huh? Can you believe it. We're like regular people now. Oh God! I need to push!"

"Okay Michonne, gimme one big one." Jacqui instructed. Rick felt like he was having an out of body experience. He was head on with Michonne throughout her labor, but what they'd just done, what they were doing now created an irrevocable tie between them. Their commitment to each other felt sacred and unencumbered. Now that he knew love like Michonne's he was going to take care with it, every day for the rest of his life.

… **.**

"He looks exactly like you." Michonne said, clutching their son to her chest. She was sleepy and tired, but felt an incredible sense of peace.

Rick was still in awe, still in disbelief that they created a tiny human being.

"He definitely has my hair." Rick's tone was full of pride. "He needs a name, I can't believe that after all this time we haven't settled on one."

Michonne opened her mouth to speak, but Rick cut her off, knowing what she was about to say.

"I'm not naming my kid Cletus. I don't even know how that name ended up being a contender."

Cletus had been a big joke for her. Michonne suppressed her laugh, not wanting to wake the sleeping baby. He was adorable wrapped up in the blue blanket Rick's mom gifted them with.

"I was going to say dear husband, we should name him after you. Rick Grimes Junior. R.J for short. Some big shoes to fill, but I believe in this one."

She kissed his head, so in love with her son.

"RJ huh? I actually like it." Rick brushed a finger against his son's cheek, he couldn't take his eyes off his legacy or the woman responsible for it.

RJ Grimes had entered the world at 9:15 pm on November 7th, at eight lbs, seven ounces. He was bawling his head off, announcing his arrival to the whole of the tenth floor.

"It's almost like they took a mould of your face and shrunk it to a baby size. Thank God he got some color from me," Michonne teased.

Rick grew silent, a well of emotion rising up inside him. He wasn't doing so well at tapering it.

"Hey…," Michonne spoke in a hushed tone, her hand soothing Rick's cheek. "What's wrong? We're okay."

"I think that's it. There's nothing wrong. I never thought I could have alla' this Michonne. You gave me life and I promise I'll do my best to be a good father." A tear slipped down Rick's cheek. "Rick, you're going to be a great dad. RJ is proud to have you. And any other kids we have. Don't doubt that."

She knew the weight that remained on his shoulders when it came to fatherhood was monumental. She was certain he knew what to give his son, because he knew what it felt like to not have it.

"Other kids? We're doin' this again huh?"

Michonne was happy to see sadness dissipating and a smile shining through.

"Only if that's something you want."

"I dunno, I may have to seriously build you that Taco Bell."

He adjusted his seat on the bed, he didn't want to crowd Michonne, but he wanted to be close to his family.

"Very funny wise guy. Did I tell you Noah is moving back to King County? With Beth? He applied for a transfer and got it. Said the city was too hectic. He missed home."

She knew the feeling all too well. She also knew what it felt like to finally find her way. She hoped her cousin felt the same way.

"That's great. I'm glad you'll have your family close."

"I told him the house is theirs. It's the right thing to do. I think Yvette would want that.'

At the time when Yvette left the house to Michonne she was the one that was lost. But not anymore.

"But Yvette left you that house."

"Because she thought I needed a home. But I have that now, with you."

"You'll always have a home with me Michonne Grimes."

"I know." She wasn't being cocky, just stating facts.

Michonne's body was beyond worn out, she felt her eyes closing down.

"I think I'm gonna take a nap while RJ's sleeping. Something tells me when he's awake he'll be as demanding as his daddy is."

"Get some sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up." Rick was content to keep vigil for his wife and son.

Drifting off into a much needed slumber Michonne smiled; heart and home had finally found its way to her.


End file.
